Alpha
by Ravens Trinity
Summary: AU. "They rendered her mute Maura. They must have beaten it out of her, but she doesn't make a sound when she fights, not one. I don't know exactly what they did to her but it must have been bad for her to be mute. Usually they like it when they scream like an animal. She's silent, its eerie." First Rizzoli and Isles story though I lurk constantly myself. Check it out.
1. Chapter 1

**AU. So I made this thing. And I know I like it but before I really go with it tell me what you think and give me your reactions/reviews. I have bits and pieces written but if I continue it needs to be filled in. This is my first Rizzoli and Isles story, and I would plan to end it Rizzles, eventually. Happy reading!**

"Hello?," a sleepy voice answered the phone.

"I found one Maura," a male voice over the phone immediately responded.

"What do you mean you _found_ one?"

"Exactly that. I found one and snagged it."

"What are we talking about here Ames? And how the hell do you find a Raven? They don't just run around all willy nilly," she responded.

"It's a female, one of the few I've ever seen. I darted her when she killed her handlers as they were trying to restrain her for transport."

"Did you see her fight?"

"No, not tonight, but I have seen her before. She's ruthless; I can't imagine the kind of training that went into her. She's been undefeated since they showcased her. I have no idea what happened tonight. They darted her but something must have happened because as they were about to collar her she lashed out and killed em all in seconds. Four handlers dead in a minute, I've never seen the like."

"My god, if she's as hard to control as that what makes you think I would take her? There is such a thing as too dangerous you know? Besides I don't take them in anymore. You know that," Maura said exasperated.

"I know, I know. There's just something about this one Maura, I don't know how to explain it. I darted her just as she was gonna run. It's up to you, ya know. I can't let her go and I won't give her back to the Authority. You can either take her or I can euthanize her. Your choice."

"Dammit! How the hell do I end up in these situations?," Maura shifted the phone to her other ear. "Alright, I'll take her. How long have you had her?"

"Just a couple of hours. With the dose of the tranquilizer I gave her she should be out till morning."

"How far out are you?"  
>"Just a couple hours I think. Three tops."<p>

Maura sighed, "You know the drill Ames. Bring her to the back stairs and we can take her to the room. I'll get ready for her. Do you have any idea how long they've had her? Any other information at all?"

"Only that she was a late capture. They took her at around 11 from what I can gather. She was old enough to resist and be hard to break that's for sure. There's, there's one more thing, actually two more things."

"What? Tell me now so I can change my mind if I need to."

"They rendered her mute Maura. They must have beaten it out of her, but she doesn't make a sound when she fights, not one. I don't know exactly what they did to her but it must have been bad for her to be mute. Usually they like it when they scream like an animal. She's silent, totally silent, it's eerie. And I am pretty sure her vocal cords are alright from the small exam I was able to do. She looks healthy, though she has some interesting scars on her hands."

Maura blinked in shock for a moment. Not able to answer to that information.

"Maura? You still there?"

"Yes. Yes I'm here. What was the second thing?"

"They tattooed her an Alpha."

Ames heard dead silence on the other end of the line. It didn't even sound like Maura was breathing.

"Maura?," he questioned again.

"Ames there has only ever been 2 other Alpha's and they both had to be put down because they were too violent. Not even the authority could handle them. You know this! How the hell am I gonna control her when she becomes too aggressive? What makes you think she can be brought back?"

"You can do it Maura, I know you can. Somehow you take em in and bring them back to the world. I have no doubt you can do the same with this one. No matter her ranking.

Maura sighed, "I'll see you in a few hours Ames. Be careful. Make sure the collar won't break. I can't afford to have her loose, especially if she is an Alpha."

"Will do. See you soon."

Maura heard the click from Ames disconnecting but she wasn't all there. It had been a number of years since she had tried to treat a Raven. After her son was born she couldn't risk him to the danger bringing one into the house posed and later with what happened to Cameron. She'll just have to be extra careful this last time. And it will be the last time.

* * *

><p>Ames had left a few hours ago. The woman was now in the attic, turned treatment facility, for those like her that Maura had treated in the past. For the moment she was collared and asleep in the padded room that she had designed for the rehabilitation of Ravens. If all went well she could eventually move to the bedroom, also in the attic, that was made at the same time as the padded room. It had taken her a couple hours to get everything aired out and refreshed after being shut up for a number of years. It was an odd feeling to be using everything again.<p>

The sun had been up about an hour and Maura was carrying a tray that consisted of simple breakfast foods such as eggs, toast and orange juice up the stairs to the attic. She hadn't been downstairs too long and she hoped the woman hadn't woken up yet. Even collared they could be surprisingly active and almost normal. It was when the collar came off that there was a problem. Once she reached the top she pushed open the door to the padded room.

"Momma?"

Maura looked up, surprise written all over her features. No. He wasn't supposed to be in here. How did he get in here? I _know_ I locked the door.

"Momma? Why does the lady have a collar? People don't wear collars, doggies do."

She couldn't speak. Her son was kneeling next to the prone woman who was sitting on the floor, leaned up against the wall, and thankfully still asleep. He turned back to the woman and had a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Jonathan," Maura whispered, almost too quiet to hear. She didn't understand. How had he gotten into the room? He was supposed to still be in bed. How did he get out of the house? The only entrance to the attic was from outside.

Jonathan wasn't paying attention to Maura anymore, he was studying the collar closely. Then the unthinkable, Jonathan reached for the collar around the Ravens neck and fingered the clasp that kept it closed. It wasn't locked. Maura knew it wasn't, Ames didn't have the key to actually lock the damn thing. How could she have been so stupid? She shouldn't have let this woman into her home. If Jonathan played with it too much it could unclasp, and then he would be dead, and she would be dead only mere moments later. That's what they were for, to kill, swiftly and without mercy.

"Jonathan!" Maura hissed. "Jonathan, come here. Please!," she said with urgency in her voice.

He wasn't listening. He got like that on occasion when he found something too intriguing to listen. He was too smart for only being six, and too young to understand the danger he was in.

Click.

No! No, it couldn't have come undone. Not now, not when things were just getting back to normal. No. No. No!

A hand immediately reached out and grabbed Jonathan's wrist in a vice like grip. Maura dropped the serving tray and had to hold herself from rushing into the room. It wouldn't matter, he would be dead before she could reach him. The knuckles around his wrist were white, the woman was bruising him, and she could snap his wrist so easily. Then he whimpered; a loud noise in the silence of the room. Eyes flashed open showing a brown so dark they were almost black. Maura had to stifle a scream.

"Momma?," Jonathan whimpered again in obvious pain, trying to look at his mother who was standing behind him. The woman's head turned in Jonathan's direction and looked at him. Maura could see her thinking, she didn't stop to ponder how odd that was.

As tears silently ran down Maura's cheeks she whispered to Jonathan again, "Don't move Than, and don't pull away. Do you hear me?".

"Yes momma. But it hurts, she's hurting me."  
>"I know baby, but if you move she's going to be scared and hurt you worse. Do you remember when we were in the park when the dogs were scared by a loud noise and hurt that nice woman who let you pet them?"<p>

A whimpered acknowledgement answered her.

"And I told you not to move, or you might scare the dogs more?"

Jonathan nodded his head slightly.

"It's just like that Than, if you move you might scare her." Though Maura knew this was highly unlikely. More likely she would kill Jonathan almost instantly. A small part of her now realized and was actually surprised that she hadn't attacked yet. And an even smaller part hoped that they might get out of this situation alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**So you guys liked it huh? Sure looks like it based on the reviews, follows and favorites. Well I will do my best with this story. I am a reader much more than a writer but as with most muses when one grabs you it's hard to shake it loose. I will TRY my very best to update weekly at least. Sometimes more sometimes less we will have to wait and see how my crazy my work weeks are. Constructive criticism is always welcome.**

**And since I didn't say this in the first chapter. These characters sadly do not belong to me. Cause we all know that if any one of us owned them they would be together by now. For realz. **

**And without further ado I present Chapter 2.**

Jonathan held as still as a six year old possible could. He didn't look at the woman who held his wrist but instead watched his mother waiting for a sign that it was ok to move again. After several tense moments his wrist was released and before he could bolt towards his mother she called to him softly.

"Slowly Jonathan, walk slowly towards me. Keep looking at me, you're going to be ok."

Jonathan did as his mother bid and without taking his eyes off of hers walked slowly towards her. When he was within reaching distance Maura pulled him to her and quickly moved him behind her, all the while still keeping the uncollared woman in her full view.

"Go downstairs Than. Wait for me in the kitchen. I'll be down soon, ok?"

"Yes, momma," he replied solemnly. He quietly did as Maura said and as soon as he was gone from sight Maura turned her full attention back to woman before her.

She was being watched, studied even. The chocolate eyes that were locked onto her face spoke of curiosity and interest in what was before her. Before Maura could lose her nerve she crouched down slowly, as she did so the Alpha's eyes reacted to her movements. Her body slightly shifted and Maura froze into a defensive position before moving again. The Alpha's eyes quickly glanced down to the broken dishes on the floor, but were immediately looking right into Maura's own seconds later. Nobody moved, either barely breathed. Maura was terrified for could have happened just now to Jonathan but new thoughts were entering her mind. Why hadn't the Alpha attacked yet? Why was she just sitting there? If she was a true Alpha Jonathan and her both should have been dead many minutes ago.

Maura continued into her crouch and kept the woman in her peripheral vision while she cleaned up the broken dishes and put them on the tray. Once she stood back up she immediately closed the door, and locked it. With the lock in place her legs almost gave out at what had just happened. What _could_ have happened. She didn't understand it, not at all. Before she could ponder too long she immediately remembered Jonathan's wrist. Thinking about that strange first interaction would have to wait. Right now Jonathan was more important.

* * *

><p><em>Release.<em>

_She had been released. Time to kill. Time to end._

_Grabbing for the hand that released her she was prepared to end the life of her captor. Just like the others. But something stopped her._

_Sitting._

_She was on a padded floor. Not the steel floor of the cage. It didn't smell right, not like the fighting rings. It sounded different, it was quiet, hardly any noise. _

_Then she heard it. A voice calling for someone. A whimper. And a second voice, older, whispering quietly. Her grip never relaxed but still she waited. She may have been released but she was the best because she thought before she acted. That's how she had escaped them. Or thought she did. _

_More whispering. Then she opened her eyes and looked with interest at whose wrist she had captured. It was a young one. A child younger than her when she had been taken. He looked scared; he had silent tears running down his face and was shaking. Still gripping the wrist she looked for the owner of the second voice._

_It was a woman. A beautiful woman with hazel eyes that were also leaking silent tears. She studied them both, looking back and forth. The other woman had been whispering to the boy. She looked back to the boy and she slowly released her grip on his wrist. Without looking at her the boy, after whispered directions from his mother, moved away from her. She made sure not to move. For some reason the thought of scaring these two further made her anxious, she didn't want them to fear her. What was wrong with her? She was meant to kill when uncollared not think and feel_._ Why was she thinking? Why was she feeling?_

_When the child was gone from sight, the woman, his mother she assumed slowly crouched down. Without conscious effort her body moved in response to a better position though she was very curious. The woman immediately froze into a defensive position which amused her greatly. Again after a silent standstill in which no one moved, the beauty in front of her finished her crouch._

_Glancing to the floor she saw the broken dishes and spilled food and juice. Thinking fast she surmised the woman had brought that for her. But why? Why bring her food? And why did the child release her from the collar? They were both scared. Scared of her. She knew it and should have acted on it. She had to decide what to do. Kill the woman now and leave, or wait and watch. Learn. She quickly decided to bide her time, her curiosity was too great to kill immediately. And then she would escape. She would watch first, then decide later what to do._

_Still not moving she watched the woman pick up the broken crockery and put it on the tray that she had carried everything on. The woman quickly stood up and closed the door behind her. She clearly heard the distinct sound of a door being locked and she wondered what was going to happen next. All she could do was wait. Wait and plan. So she did. _

* * *

><p>As soon as Maura stepped into the kitchen and saw Jonathan safe, sitting at the kitchen table, some of her anxiety dissipated. Not enough for her to feel safe, but enough for her to think more rationally. As she came closer to Jonathan, who had his head bowed the table, she could see he was shaking. She momentarily panicked again but quickly realized he was crying softly, he hardly made noise when he cried, just like his Mater used to. For a split second she felt the agony of losing Cameron all over again. But it quickly passed when she set forth to comfort her son.<p>

She knelt by him and when he noticed she was there he all but threw himself into her arms. She could feel his silent sobbing trough the shaking of his body and immediately started whispering calming nothings to comfort him. He needed to calm down so they could talk. She needed to know how his wrist was and to find out how he had gotten into the attic in the first place.

Soon enough he slowly stopped shaking and she gently pulled him slightly away from her and tried to look into his eyes. His head was hanging low so she had to tilt his head up to really look at him. For a brief moment she thought she was looking at a young Cameron, all red and splotchy, from crying. She smiled at him and moved to sit in the kitchen chair with him in her lap.

"Than, honey, I need to look at your wrist Ok?" she spoke gently.

Without uttering a sound he held up his wrist. Maura could see it was red and slightly swollen from the tight grip that the Alpha had had on him. She grasped it gently and rotated the wrist to make sure there was no fracture. As soon as he whimpered she stopped and gently felt around to double check. When she had decided nothing was broken, just bruised, she put his wrist down and hugged him again, holding him tight.

Once more after he settled she pulled him away slightly. This time he immediately looked into her eyes and the turmoil in his blue eyes almost made Maura whimper herself.

"How did you get into the attic Jonathan? The door was locked honey, how did you get up there?" she asked him.

Before answering he got a guilty look on his face and she wondered what was going through his mind. "Keys momma. I used the keys like when you open the front door. I" he paused momentarily, " I saw you going to the attic and you never let me go up there and I wanted to see so I used the keys."

Maura gave him a puzzled look. She quickly checked her belt, and yup, her keys were still there. How did he get a set of keys to the attic?

"Where did you get the keys baby? Momma has her keys here," she replied while pointing to her waist.

Again the guilty look passed over his face. He stayed silent.

"Jonathan," her voice had a slight edge to it now. "I need to know where you got those keys from. I'm not mad honey but I need to know. The attic isn't safe."

He played with a bit of her hair that was lying across her chest. Without looking at her he answered "I found them in the closet, your closet momma."

Now Maura was really confused. She had a pair of attic keys in the bedroom closet? How…?

Jonathan answered before she finished her thought, "They were in Mater's black box. They were small, so I took them to keep. I wanted something of Mater's to keep in my closet, like you have her black box in yours."

Maura immediately made the connection. Cameron's box. The one with her personnel files and information on all the Ravens they had rehabilitated before Jonathan was born. She had forgotten there was a set of keys in there. How could she have forgotten? That small mistake had almost cost them both their lives.

"Oh Jonathan honey. Why didn't you ask me? I would have given you something of Mater's if you had asked me."

He just shrugged his shoulders, keeping quiet.

"So you used the keys when you saw Momma going up to the attic? Is that it?

He nodded his head.

"I need the keys Than. Where are they?"

He slowly pulled them from his pocket and handed them over. He started crying again and Maura immediately hugged him close.

"It's ok Than. It's going to be ok. We'll pick something out together of Mater's alright? Something you can keep in your room?" she looked at him expectantly.

He nodded again with his head tucked into her neck.

"Ok then. Why don't you go watch some cartoons? I'll check on you in a little bit."

"Ok. Can I have a snack too please?"

She looked at him and quirked a smile. Just like his Mater again. He was always hungry.

"Yes, why don't you get an apple and peanut butter, hm? Does that sound good?"

He nodded quickly and scrambled to get off her lap to grab his snack before heading off to the living room to watch some TV.

Once she heard the TV on she knew he was occupied until she made him turn the TV off. What little she let him watch always glued him to the damn thing for the entire time he sat in front of it.

She wondered what she would do about the Raven upstairs. Not just any Raven either, an Alpha, by all accounts. First thing she would do was removed the locks on the attic door, replace them and move them up high, above Jonathan's head. She did not want a repeat of this morning. Remembering that she had dropped the tray of food and water upstairs she got up and cleaned up the tray and remade a lunch for their new guest, though that was a term best used lightly. Now that she knew Jonathan couldn't get into the attic she knew she needed to get some food upstairs. She was worried though. The Alpha was uncollared and could easily kill her this time giving no more chances. She sighed. She would just have to take the risk. Once she set out to do something there was no going back. And thought she hated to admit it the Raven intrigued her. Something was different about her. With one last check on Jonathan sitting in the living room she headed back upstairs, triple checking the door was locked behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for the reviews and the follows. I feel all fuzzy and full inside. Part of the idea of this story came from Unleashed, a film with Morgan Freeman and Jet Li which was released in 2005, and one I also do not own in way shape or form. If you are curious check it out. **

**Yay for Chapter 3!**

At the top of the attic stairs there was a simple bureau that Maura kept some of her supplies in, for whenever a Raven was staying at the house. She and Cameron must have rehabilitated some half dozen women from the cruel fate they had endured since being collared. Women, while not a rarity, were slightly uncommon in the fighting rings. So while it wasn't a large number of women that they had helped, they had always felt proud of what they had accomplished.

A memory momentarily forced its way into Maura's mind. Cameron and her damned pride. It was part of the reason she was no longer here. Part of the reason why her son had to grow up without one of his mothers. She sighed and moved the negative thoughts from her mind. She needed to steel herself to walk into the room at the end of the hall. She couldn't get distracted now.

She opened one of the drawers of the bureau and pulled out a collar. It was a simple thing really. Like a dog's collar, only it had a slightly modified latch and locking mechanism. She made sure to also grab a key, to make sure no one would unlock it, her being an exception, once she had it back on the Alpha's neck. That was one of the more amazing things about the brutal program the Ravens were put into to break them. While the collar was on, they were trained through severe punishment and psychological manipulation to never touch the collar themselves. If Maura was alone in treating this woman she would not worry about locking the collar into place, there was no need to. Once there the one wearing it would almost forget it was there, until it came off that is. That was a whole other can of worms.

After placing the collar on top of the tray she grabbed the tray and walked to the end of the hall. She placed it on the ground and using her keys unlocked a cabinet on the wall. Opening it she removed a syringe, grabbed a bottle of a powerful tranquilizer and proceeded to load the syringe. She decided not to worry about putting a cap on the syringe. She would have one chance to get the solution into the Alpha's system and a cap would lose her precious seconds.

The woman on the other side of the locked door was unarmed; however she was not without weapons. Her entire body was one, but that meant she had to come into close contact with Maura if she wanted to try anything. That would be Maura's chance. Her _one_ chance to tranquilize the woman so she could put the collar into place. While the drugs were powerful they wouldn't last long so every moment counted once injected. Bending down she grabbed the collar and stuffed it into the back pocket of her designer jean and then transferred the syringe into her left hand. She took a deep breath, unlocked the door and stepped inside.

_She clearly heard the lock click into place. It was no matter, she was sure she would see the woman again soon. That would be her chance to escape, finally. Now that she was alone she was able to look around and examine the room she was in. It was a simple room though bright with sunlight. No furniture, padded walls and floor, though the small window in the ceiling was a little out of place. There were bars over it but if she tried should could jump and reach them. No way to tell where she was exactly since it pointed toward the sky. Maybe she could break the window pane with her fist and use the shards as a weapon? She would have to think about that. For now she was going to bide her time until the woman came back. She didn't even need a weapon to kill the blonde, but sometimes weapons were more fun. What to do till she came back?_

_How had she gotten recaptured again? And by whom? She thought she'd had it, she had almost tasted the freedom and then this happened. Well it wouldn't happen again. No one was going to own her. She was too smart for her own good and that was the Authority's downfall. They thought they had made the perfect Alpha for their use, they thought they had beaten any fight out of her when they beat the words from her. They were wrong. Ever since they showcased her she had been watching, waiting for the perfect moment. It had come, of course it had. They started to become lax in their procedures thinking she was perfectly docile. She would show them. Eventually she would show them all what she could really do. _

_After pacing for ten or fifteen minutes she decided upon a plan. She had to do it now. If the collar was ever placed on her neck again she knew what would happen. She would become a frightened mess. She had to admit it to the Authority, most of their training worked. That damn collar made it hard for her think when it was on. Like she was always on some kind of disorienting drug. She knew she became skittish and fearful. She could see it through her own eyes and feel it through her own body, but her true self could never do anything about it. She was just as caged out in the open with the collar on then when she was in an actual steel cage. She had to do this before the woman could put it back on._

_She looked to the locked door. It was in the middle of one wall and the door opened inward. She would wait in the corner behind the door. A perfect blind spot. From there she would make her move. From there she just might accompany death like a true Raven should._

As soon as she opened the door she knew something was off. She should see the Alpha. She was in here when she left and locked the door! Maura knew she was. But where was she now? She stepped further into the room, passed the end of the door. That was when she saw it. Movement out the corner of her right eye. Fast movement. Before she could do anything the Alpha was on her. Her back was forcefully pushed against the wall next to the door and her body was pinned by the strong woman's in front of her. Immediately a pair of hands closed around her throat. She closed her eyes and prayed. Prayed she would get out of this alive. Prayed Jonathan would not lose his other mother.

She waited for the end, but it seemed to never come. The hands were indeed around her neck but they were not tight enough to choke. She opened her eyes and instantly they were caught by dark brown ones boring into her own six inches above her. She hadn't really noticed it before but standing next to her now the height difference was intimidating. She was being studied it seemed. Studied intently. She shifted slightly and the hands around her neck tightened, almost cutting off her airflow. There was a brief moment of panic but then her rational mind took over and she stopped all movement again. The hands loosened. They seemed to be there as a warning, of what could happen if Maura tried something. The eyes continued to study her. They started sliding away from her face and began looking at the rest of her body, what little that wasn't covered by the one pushing her against the wall anyway.

As the eyes traveled farther south she saw her moment. She couldn't believe the Alpha hadn't spotted the syringe yet, but luck seemed to be on her side today. In one quick, fast, motion the syringe was stabbed into the Alpha's right shoulder blade. With the swiftness of a doctor's hands that had performed the action hundreds of time the plunger was pushed down and the tranquilizer injected into the woman in front of her. The hands had tightened quickly on her throat cutting off all air but she knew the Alpha would be down before she ran out of breath. Already she was becoming woozy in front of her. Only another few seconds and it would be over.

As predicted the taller woman collapsed at her feet and Maura quickly took a huge gulp of air. She didn't allow herself a moment to catch her breath. She didn't have many before she woke up again. After pulling the collar from her back pocket she quickly put it into place and latched it shut. Using the keys on her belt she locked it ensuring no one but she could release it again. At this point she took a quick moment to gain her breath and her bearings. Standing up she quickly stepped out of the room and grabbed the tray. She placed it beside the woman and retreated into a corner where she sank to the floor to await the Alpha's return to consciousness.

It was the movement that alerted her to the fact her new guest was waking. Only slight movement, small stirrings of a mind going from its slumber to a more active and aware consciousness. Maura stayed where she was in the corner. She wanted to help immediately but she knew the Raven's tended to be more submissive and fearful when under collar. So she waited patiently for the eyes she knew to be brown to open.

Once those eyes did, even from across the room in the corner, Maura saw them dart around the room. Slowly sitting up the still slightly disoriented woman showed confusion across her sharp features. As expected she was not at all aggressive. There was a wariness that accompanied her movements but no aggression. Maura saw her eyes quickly go to the tray next to her. More so the tall glass of water than the food. It wasn't until she reached for the water, exactly when Maura slightly shifted her own position, that the mistreated Alpha saw there was someone else in the room. She immediately shrank back against the wall closest to herself and moved her eyes to the ground. Her eyes stayed glued to the floor but Maura could tell she was still being watched. Scrutinized for what she might do. Which was nothing.

After a few minutes in a standstill the Alpha moved slightly away from the wall to slowly reached for the water again. This time Maura made sure to make no movements what-so-ever. The glass was quickly grabbed and the water drained to the last molecule. The submissive woman carefully put the glass down and slowly reached for the Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich that was on the tray, almost expecting Maura to take it away from her before she even got to take a single bite. Again Maura waited.

When not a crumb remained the Alpha glanced in Maura's direction again, just barely keeping her in sight without actually looking at her. When Maura began to rise to stand the woman across the room shrank into the opposite corner, almost trying to fuse herself into the walls at her back. It was weird Maura thought. She knew Ravens were submissive once in collar but never this submissive. This was to such an extreme that she again wondered how horrible her training had to have gone. Seeing the syringe on the floor where she dropped it Maura bent down to pick it up and that's when she got the worst reaction she had _ever_ seen from any of the previous women she had treated.

Panic!

An all-out panic attack had claimed the body of the woman before her. She had never seen the like before. She seemed to be sobbing and having trouble breathing but all without making a sound. It was unnatural, not that this whole situation was natural to begin with. Maura glanced to the syringe in her hand, and saw the Alpha was staring at it in abject terror. She quickly tossed it outside the open door out of sight and patiently waited for the attack to finish running its course. She could do nothing to help the woman. At this stage trying to touch the terrified human in front of her would do them both more harm than good. So she waited. She waited twenty minutes, not moving in any way. She stood in her position until she felt she could safely approach the corner when her refugee was seeking safety.

The eyes before her slowly got bigger and bigger as she got closer but she made no move to touch. She crouched to be on the same level of the individual before her.

"Would you like to use the restroom? I know it has been awhile and I am sure you need to go. It's just outside this room. I won't touch you or hurt you but I think you would feel better if we got you out of this room."

Shy and fearful eyes glanced to her hazel ones before they glued themselves to the ground again. After a couple minutes of stillness there was a slight nodding of the woman's head, the dark curls bouncing gently.

"Alright. Can you stand up?"

They both did so at the same time, albeit the Alpha a bit more slowly than Maura herself.

"You can follow me. It just outside this door like I said," Maura said with a soft tone of voice. The less scared the abused and tortured soul before was the better.

Maura led her guest to the bathroom and let the woman walk inside of her own will. There was no windows here so it had to felt more like a cage than the room they had just left. As Maura started to close the door the Alpha started to panic again. Instead Maura just kept the door open. "It's ok, I won't close it then. I'll just be down the hall to the left," she stated, pointing, "come find me when you're done ok?"

Another small head nod.

A bit of time later a wary figure presented itself inside the doorway of the room Maura was standing in. She was looking out the window and didn't notice her visitor enter. Eventually she heard the shuffling of feet on the wood floor and she turned and gave the woman a beaming smile. Her guest faltered a moment, and looked at her, but it was quickly replaced by the shy figure she met in the padded room.

"Here, this will be your room ok? This will be your safe zone. If you want to be alone you can come in here and no one will bother you. There's a bed for sleeping, a dresser for when I can get you some more clothes. You can read?"

Head nod.

"Good, you can read any of these books here ok? I want you to try and relax some. I don't want you to be afraid. It will be hard, and take a lot of effort on both our parts but I think we can do it. Hm?" Maura smiled again. "You are allowed to go anywhere you like inside, or outside. Just let me know where you are so I don't worry. I don't want to keep you. I want you to be free."

As she was speaking Maura noticed the Alpha's eyes darting around the room. Maura needed to gain her trust first. That was the first step before she could properly be brought back from her past. From there they would eventually work on removing the collar, which was almost the most dangerous part. But one that had to be taken if these people were ever to have a chance at a normal life. The Alpha tattoo below the woman's left eye was going to be a bigger challenge to take care of. She sighed softly. She had to admit she had missed this in the years since Jonathan had been born. But she wondered if it would be worth it in the end.

"Ok, well I will be back soon ok. I need to check on some things and then I will come back with more water and some clothes now that I know your proportions better."

As expected the Alpha said nothing.

Maura slowly worked her way out the door taking as wide a path as she could to avoid another panic attack in the already traumatized woman. So Maura left her where she was standing, a bewildered look on her face as she faced the newest challenge to her already learned life.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: OK. For this chapter I am going to put a trigger warning for abuse. So read at your own risk or pass this chapter, maybe pass the story all together. It will be a tough road before we get to the fluffy. And to just let you know I will not be doing every scene from both perspectives, but I wanted to give you a feel for the both of them so you could imagine yourself what might be happening in their thoughts when you don't see both. Also as you can probably guess the italics are inside the Alpha's head. When there is normal type within the italic stuff it is what the Alpha would be saying if she could speak however for now it's only thinking. Oh and lastly all mistakes are mine. Happy reading, sort of.**

_ The woman would be back soon. She knew it in her gut. Somehow she always knew. After spending a few minutes walking around the room and really studying it she determined that she would wait in the corner behind the door. Since the door opened inward the woman wouldn't see her form the doorway and would be forced to walk into the room if she wanted something from the Alpha. That would be her chance. The taste of true freedom from the wretched collars and men who held the leashes. She would be here. It was time to wait for her prey._

* * *

><p><em>The key was in the lock and with a smug satisfaction the Alpha grinned. She knew the woman was coming back soon and here she comes. The door opened slowly and there was a few seconds where no one appeared. The Alpha could just imagine the look on the blondes face when didn't immediately see her in the padded room. She had to step pass the door. <em>Come on! Do it! Take two steps then I will have you._ As soon as she saw her pass the door she went for it. Quickly stepping up to the blonde, putting her hands around her throat and using her larger body she pushed the woman against the wall. Not hard enough to hurt, but with enough force that they both knew who was in charge now. _

_Her eyes were closed. _Why were they closed?_ She wanted to see the fear when she killed her, when the life left her eyes, and nothing remained. _She's did that come from?No, she must die. I will not be kept a slave any longer._ She studied the smaller woman in front of her. Smaller by quite a few inches it seemed. She wouldn't be any trouble; maybe she should study her a bit and see if she can figure out where that thought came from. Better to analyze it now and remove it than to let it fester after the fact. _

_So when those eyes in front of hers opened and stared straight at her she studied them. She studied the face in front of hers. Hazel eyes, with little flecks of color that she couldn't describe. Freckles, a small spattering of them across her cheeks, unnoticeable unless you were this close. Blonde hair, but not a normal blonde, a honey blonde maybe and from what she could feel against her hands it was soft. A thin nose. Soft cheekbones. Her lips looked soft too. _I wonder if they are?

_Movement. Her hands tightened around the neck they were grasping. The movement stopped. _I wonder what the rest of her looks like. _The Alpha's eyes slid away from the face below hers. She looked away from the face and started observing the rest of the body that was against hers. _Beautiful. No! She must die! _Then she saw the more extreme movement. The woman's left arm came up behind her shoulder and she immediately squeezed hard against the throat. But then she felt it. She knew the feeling of a needle, and the depression of a plunger. _No! _How could she have let this happen? She would not be collared again, she would not be a mindless, submissive, slave._

_It was too late. She felt the drugs take immediate effect, just like all the other times before. She should have killed her when she had the chance. Next time she was freed she would. This was inexcusable, she knew better. The woman, whose face was becoming blurry, was just like the rest. She wanted her collared and docile. She wanted a thing to be used and abused. It was too late. She fell to the floor and as her vision finally darkened all the way all she could think about was opportunity lost. Opportunity to never be free. Unbeknownst to the doctor above her a single tear slid from one of her eyes. When it fell it quickly soaked into the padded floor beneath her and disappeared, just like her freedom._

* * *

><p><em>Her head felt weird. She knew the feeling, it just took a moment to really be aware. She didn't move immediately, just laid there in her silence, hoping that today would be a better day than the one before it. Unlikely though. They knew how to make her fear them; they knew how to keep her caged. She opened her eyes to whiteness, which was so different in contrast than what she expected to see, what she had seen every day of her life before, that she closed them again for another few minutes. When she opened them again everything was still white. Her eyes darted around, but she didn't really see anything to tell her where she was. Maybe it was a new torture.<em>

_ While still looking around she sat up slowly, the uncomfortable feeling in her head wasn't new, but it still didn't quite feel like it normally did. Once she was fully sitting upright and her eyes came into better focus she immediately saw a tray with a tall glass of water and some kind of food sitting on it. If her childhood memories were correct it was a sandwich. Maybe. She couldn't be sure since her memories of her first life for the most part had left her. No, they had been ripped from her with pain and savagery. _

_ Noticing the think feeling in her mouth she reached for the glass of water and, not sure how she missed them to start with, the other person in room shifted too. A woman. _Oh no. I shouldn't have done that. _She had to protect as much of herself as she could. She backed herself into a corner, pressing into it so hard there might be bruises to her skin, not that you can see new ones over the old ones. Before gluing her eyes to the floor she glanced to the corner opposite of her. Why weren't they coming after her? She did a wrong she should be beaten for it. How could she forget that you wait for permission for anything, everything. The surroundings threw her off, but she still should have known better!_

_ With her eyes still on the floor she waited in tense silence. And waited. Nothing happened. She was still so thirsty. Deciding to risk it, at this pint she would rather a beating for the glass of water to immediately quench her thirst; she slowly moved away from her corner and again reached for the glass quickly. She greedily drank till the last drop, spilling none, and gently placed the glass on the tray from which it started. Shooting a quick glace across the room she slowly reached for the food, sure it was going to be snatched out of her grasp. She wasn't beaten for the water though. Unless this was a new type of training, maybe they would hurt her after she ate the sandwich too so she should stop while she was ahead. No. She was too hungry now just as she was too thirsty before. She grabbed the food and ate it so fast it almost got stuck in her throat._

_ The woman moved again, so she moved back into her corner. The woman stood up fully but did not move, neither did she. She waited like she was taught, waited for directions, though this was a very weird place so far. It was so very different than all the other before it. What was she reaching for on the floor? A needle! No! Not again. Panic. She couldn't breathe, the tears on her face were hot on her skin. She could feel them, feel them pierce her hands and rip every time she moved. No. No. No. Please not again. She would do anything to prevent that again. She would submit like she was supposed to before, just not the knives, and needles anymore. No!_

_ She felt like she was stuck in her nightmare forever. The revolving images and panic never wanted to ease. Eventually she realized she was coming out of it. And surprisingly the woman hadn't moved. She was just standing there staring at her, no needle in her hand; she could see her out of the corner of her eyes while she kept her eyes to the floor. Then she was moving towards her. _Here it comes, I knew it was coming. She will hit me and hurt me like the others. She must be my new keeper. What have I done? I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me. I'll follow the rules I promise._ Her inner monologue continued as the woman got closer and crouched before her. _

_ Sweet music. It sounded how she thought music was supposed to sound but it was only the woman's voice. Asking her a question? Since when does she get asked and not told. What was she saying? Bathroom. _Do I have to go to the bathroom?_! She swiftly moved her eyes to meet with the ones at her own level before moving them away again. _What does she want from me? Am I supposed to answer? _She nodded her head slightly._ Please don't hurt me.

_She was standing now, so the Alpha stood as well, albeit a bit more slowly. More of the music. She followed silently when the woman started walking away out of the room. She was led to a bathroom. An actual bathroom and not a hole in the floor where everyone could watch. After she walked in and glanced around to see no windows or openings of any kind she glanced back to the woman who was about to close the door. _Don't close it! Please don't lock me in. I'll be good, I promise. Don't leave me here. _The door immediately swung back open and the woman with the musical voice told her she would be down the hall when she was done. _She's not going to watch me? Maybe she won't hurt me. Don't be stupid she will eventually.

_ She might have been caged more than half her life but at least those cages had iron bars that she could still look out of. Still see her surroundings when she wasn't looking at the floor. She glanced around the bathroom again. She did have to go. _

_ After a few minutes she slowly crept out the door expecting the woman to be waiting right outside the door. Waiting to give her the pain she deserved, but she wasn't there. She glanced down the hall and saw another doorway. Maybe she was there. She let her feet carry her however she wasn't sure if she really wanted to go there. It could be a trap. Shaking the thought out of her head she got to the doorway to see the woman standing at a window. _She's pretty. _What does she want with me?_

_ Shuffling a bit in the doorway allowed her new keeper to know she was there before fully walking into the room. When she turned from the window she got a brief glance of her with the sunlight on her face before her eyes went to the floor. She was sick of looking at floors, these at least were better than the rough planks she used to look at. _

Um Hm. Yes I love to read. Wait what? _She was confused again. She couldn't keep up fully with what the woman was saying. Glancing to the book shelves piled with books she was envious that her keeper had so many. She had never owned one before. Eyes to the floor. _

_She stopped following what the woman was saying and just stood in place. Her eyes started to betray her when they started looking all around the room. It was large, at least large to her. There was a bed but she was sure she was expected to sleep on the floor. It was a hard floor. At least it was warm in here. She hated being cold, that was worse than sleeping on a hard floor. _

More food? More water? _She used to never get that much before. Who was this woman who must be her new owner? She was different, especially since she hadn't tried to hit her yet. It would come eventually though she knew that. Movement again. The blonde was walking a wide path around her, back to the doorway. She turned and said one more thing that the Alpha didn't catch before walking out the room leaving the Alpha standing, bewildered and wondering what this new place had in store. The new place with books and a window._


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh look! A wild chapter 5 appeared! It's a short chapter, I'm sorry. Been really busy and I like where I ended it here, didn't want to add to it. Next one will hopefully be longer. Enjoy. All mistakes are mine. And thanks for all the reviews.**

As soon as Maura stepped from the doorway the only thing she wanted was to hold her son. All she wanted was to hold her son and thank anyone out there who was listening that something so horrible had never happened to him and will never happen. Now that the Alpha wasn't a danger to anyone around her Maura felt safe leaving the door unlocked so the Alpha wouldn't feel confined or caged. Glad that she could breathe easier she went looking for Jonathan.

She found him exactly where she had left him, in front of the TV, though he was at least watching some program on the history channel. Maura was always so surprised that he looked like Cameron but took after her in intelligence, especially considering he wasn't hers biologically. But that didn't matter; he was her son and the last piece of Cameron she had left.

"What are you watching Jonathan?"

He turned his head when he heard her. "It's the statue of liberty momma. It used to be brown, but now it's green."

"That's right baby. It's made of copper, and do you know why copper sometimes turns green?"

He shook his head, while still watching the TV. He might not be looking at her but she knew he was listening.

"Copper turns green through oxidation. And Oxidation is when and element loses some of its electrons on interacting with another element. When it's exposed to the atmosphere Copper will react with oxygen, which forms copper oxide. Can you tell me what color copper oxide is Than?" she questioned, while sliding her fingers through his hair.

He looks at her now. And his forehead creases a bit as he thinks. Maura smile inside, knowing that is exactly what Cameron used to when she used to ask her the same questions after one of her outbursts of information.

"Green?" he says, though it sounds more like a question. Maura just continues to look at him and he sighs. He knows she doesn't like him to guess, so she waits for him to think it through again. "Green," he says again, not as a question this time.

She smiles. "That's right honey. That is why the Statue of Liberty is green now. It reacted with the oxygen in the air and turned green."

The smile that graces his lips after this makes her momentarily forget their guest upstairs.

"Jonathan can you turn off the TV and look at me honey?" He does so and turns to her expectantly. He has always been a good boy.

"I want you to stay out of the attic Than. I know we already talked about this but if the door is open, or unlocked you need to stay downstairs. The lady upstairs is scared and I don't want you bothering her." She looked at him to make sure he was listening. He seemed to be. "Now, do you want to help me make dinner? We have a new friend upstairs in the attic and I think I will need some help to make dinner and take it up there."

His eyes light up quickly and he looks more like a little boy now than a few minutes ago when they were discussing copper oxidation. He nods his head enthusiastically, jumps off the sofa and races towards the kitchen.

"Come on momma! Let's make dinner." He calls from the kitchen, already impatient by the fact she isn't up and moving yet. Maura smiles to herself and follows him.

* * *

><p><em>It was a few minutes before she had the courage to move. The woman had left her alone in the room with the window and the books, but she could be waiting. She could be waiting for her to make a mistake so that she could punish her. If there was one thing the Alpha was good at it was learning. She learned swiftly how not to make her owners angry, how not to react when punished. <em>

_ The door was open. She wasn't locked in, which was new and unusual. It also made her a little nervous. _This must be a test. I must not leave the room without permission. _There might not be bars of a locked cage but she knew better than to test the patience of her controllers. _

_ She cautiously looked towards the doorway as she made a small step towards the window. She wanted to look outside. It had been so long she had a chance to really see what it looked like outside. The fights were always in warehouses or underground. It wasn't very often that she had the sun on her face. And she wanted it on there now. She wanted to feel the warmth, feel the comforting embrace of the sun, for at least a few moments. When she got close enough to the window to look outside she was almost scared to see what it looked like. She gathered her courage and looked._

_ It was beautiful. So bright and colorful. So many more colors than she imagined. She saw a few trees scattered around the yard. And maybe 50 yards from the house was a big red barn. She saw wide open land with grass for what must be miles. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to be outside. To really experience what the surrounding environment would feel like was a mystery to her. She saw horses too, a lot of horses. _

Oh no! _There was a man down there, an older man, with a horse in a ring. He had a whip. He was flicking it at the horse and the horse just kept running around and around the man. She couldn't hear anything but she could feel the whip like it was striking on her own flesh. _This place is just like all the others. It's just disguised in beauty. _She felt the fear rise to the surface again. This place was going to be just as cruel as the many before it. She felt a twinge of sadness at that. Inside herself she was secretly hoping it might be different. That _she_ might be different. The alpha sighed, and resigned herself to her fate. Looking back towards the doorway she heard a small voice coming closer. There were footsteps too and as quickly as she could the Alpha put herself in the corner, eyes to the floor and waited for the inevitable._

* * *

><p>Spaghetti for dinner with a six year old helping might not have been the best idea. They had fun anyway. Maura just needed to remember to get some help removing the tomato sauce from the ceiling. She's still not sure how exactly it got all the way up there. To ensure no further mishaps Maura let Jonathan carry the glass of milk up to the attic while she handles the tray.<p>

Before they took the first step though Jonathan stopped, "I can go up now?"

"Yes honey, as long as I am with you. If the lady comes down I don't want you to bother her ok. She's scared."

He nodded his seriously. He looked at her one more time to make sure that it was indeed ok for him to go to the attic, especially after the events of earlier in the day. Maura nodded.

Once permission was granted he shot up the stairs like a rocket.

"Careful! Don't spill the milk." He didn't slow down.

When she got to the top of the stairs Jonathan was waiting. "Go on. It's ok. You can take it into her room," she motioned towards the doorway at the end of the small hall. He moved slowly now, whether it was to make sure he didn't spill a drop or from uncertainty about the woman who scared him earlier Maura wasn't sure. She followed behind him.

He took a couple steps into the doorway and stopped. Glancing at his mother real quick his eyes went to the woman in the corner, who was staring at the floor. _We'll need to work of that_ Maura thought.

Jonathan walked up to her and raised the glass of milk higher expecting the Alpha to take it.

He didn't seem scared now, which was odd considering what happened to his wrist earlier from the woman who looked the same, but was acting different than he remembered.

When she didn't immediately take the milk, or even look at him for that matter, he brought the milk back towards his chest and took another step closer. He turned his head to try and look into her eye which were facing downward, and when he briefly caught them again he brought the milk back out for her to take. She still didn't move.

Maura knew he was confused, and maybe slightly frustrated, Cameron was the same way. When she walked more fully into the room the Alpha looked up at her quickly, then the eyes returned to their downward state. Maura placed the tray on the dresser and walked closer.

"Are you hungry? You should be. That sandwich wasn't much. Jonathan and I made dinner for you." As she said this she placed her hand gently on Jonathans shoulder. "Jonathan brought you some milk too."

The woman didn't move. Jonathan huffed in impatience, which grabbed the woman's attention. She looked at him, really looked at him this time. When he saw her looking he held the glass up a third time. She glanced towards Maura, who nodded her head.

Gently reaching out, ready to snatch her hand back if she needed to, the Alpha gently took the glass of milk. Once she did Jonathan was all smiles.

"Drink it," he commands.

She just looks at him.

His face screws up in impatience again.

"Don't you like milk?" he enquires.

"Jonathan." Just the tone of Maura's voice tells Jonathan that he shouldn't push.

"It's ok. You don't have to drink it if you don't want to. I brought you more water as well," Maura gestured towards the tray on the dresser. "We'll just leave you be. If you need to go to the bathroom its right down the hall, remember? There are towels and supplies in there as well if you want to take a shower, or a bath. And I have some clothes in the dresser here for you. They might be a little big but they'll do till we can go shopping."

At this word the young boy groaned. Maura smiled at him. "You don't have to go if you don't want to Than, but I was thinking when we do go, in the next few days maybe, we might stop for ice cream. If you don't go I guess I will have to enjoy it myself."

"I wanna go!"

"It's 'I want to' darling, you know better."

Jonathan pouted momentarily. "I _want to_ go".

Maura grinned at him. She looked back up to see the woman still hadn't moved to take a drink yet. "Come on Jonathan; let's leave our guest to her dinner. We have our own to eat downstairs."

She gently turned Jonathan away from the Alpha with the hand still on his shoulder. Right before they left the room he turned back and said, "Drink the milk, its good. Bye!"

When they had left the Alpha looked at the glass of milk in her hand. She took a small sip, warily watching the doorway, and smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

**It's your weekly update brought to you by me! All mistakes are my own and again I dot own Rizzoli and Isles, but I will borrow them unabashed. We will get another character added next chapter. Read on! **

To say Maura was surprised was a slight understatement. When she went downstairs the next morning she discovered on the kitchen counter the serving ware that she had used the night before for the Alpha's dinner was washed, dried and stacked neatly on the tray. She could not believe that the Alpha had come downstairs from the attic on her own already. It was unusual, based on the submissive behavior she had exhibited the day before. As with the previous cases of rehabilitation that she had done she had expected for it to take some time for her guest to leave the safety of the attic. This would not be the first time she would realize that there was no comparison to her other cases.

She heard him before she saw him. Jonathan never walked when he could run, and running he was now right into the kitchen, making a hasty stop in front of Maura.

She smiled at him. "Hungry darling?"

He nodded enthusiastically.

"What shall we have today?"

"Lucky charms!" he exclaimed with bright eyes. He had always been a morning person, just like Maura.

She grimaced. She knew the sugary cereal was horrible for his health and his teeth, but Cameron got him hooked on it and she had never been able to keep it out of the house, even now with her gone. She should just be thankful he didn't ask for it every day.

"Ok. You get the milk and cereal box and I'll get your bowl and spoon."

"What about the lady?" he asked as she put his bowl and spoon on the kitchen table.

Maura tuned to look at him. "What about her sweetheart?"

"Does she like Lucky Charms?"

"I don't know."

"I want to make her some too!"

Maura had a slight frown on her face. Jonathan didn't see it; he was too busy trying to pour his cereal into his bowl without spilling it. She had hoped he wouldn't take to her so quick. She shouldn't be surprised though, he loved everyone wholeheartedly and without reservation.

"Not today sweetheart. I don't think your cereal will be good on her stomach. I think I'll make her eggs and toast like I am going to eat."

He looked slightly crestfallen. "Ok."

"But," he looked at her again "You can help me take her tray upstairs again, like last night."

His smile quickly returned and he was now focused on his cereal, eating with great delight.

"If you're still hungry after that bowl then I want you to eat some yogurt and fruit." She saw his eyes screw up in child disgust. "You know I don't like you eating too much of that cereal Jonathan. Some fruit and yogurt will do you some good ok? You need to be strong so you can go get your chores done. You want to run the farm one day right?"

He nodded his head again, mouth full of sugary goodness (at least it was goodness to him, he still didn't understand why his mom didn't think so).

"Ok then." She turned towards the stove to prepare the Alpha's breakfast with her own.

* * *

><p><em>She had been scared the night before, terrified actually. She had been sure that the lady would have been waiting for her to come out of her room so she could be punished. At the same time she felt like she might be able to trust the woman who now held her leash. No! She would never trust anyone again. It hurt too much when they betrayed you, and they always did. For now she would just have a weary acceptance that this new place would not be as bad as the ones previous. <em>

_When she had crept downstairs the night before, tray in hand, she was sure she would have been caught. The house had been quiet though. And in the darkness she washed, dried and neatly stacked everything on the counter next to the sink. She was surprised she hadn't dropped anything, to hear it crash to the ground and alert the house that she was downstairs. The entire time standing at the sink she was on edge, listening for the latest sign that she was not the only one awake. _

_After nothing happened and everything was clean she crept silently up the stairs, instinctually avoiding the creaky spots on the old wooden stairs. Once back to the top she had the urge to bathe. She felt dirty, she was dirty, but trying to stay clean in her previous situations was always hard. Usually she and the others were never given anything to clean themselves with, and the few times she had been allowed to shower….she stopped that thought. She wouldn't go there. Let's just say bathing or showering held their own horrors and nightmares. She really wanted to be clean though._

_She screwed up enough courage to step into the bathroom. Just like earlier in the day she left the door open so she could see or hear whoever might approach when she most vulnerable. Not that it would make a difference, she would submit like she was taught if someone came along. At leave she could leave the door open long enough to get her mind into a place far away from what could happen to her body if anyone decided to do anything._

_After quickly stripping off her old and soiled clothes, and fiddling with the nobs on the shower wall, she finally had warm water running. Once she had stepped in, it did not take her long to finish her abolitions. Covered in a large soft towel she walked slowly to her room. The woman had said there were clothes in here. It took little searching before she found some undergarments and slightly too big sweats and shirts. She was so thin that everything hung on her frame. She didn't mind though. She was clean and warm and for now she would revel in the feeling, for it sure wasn't to last long._

_She tried lying on the bed to sleep, but it was too soft. She was too used to sleeping on hard ground with little in the way of comfort. Instead she grabbed the top quilt and wrapped herself in it and settled comfortably on the floor in an empty corner. Her back to the walls, facing the open doorway. She would be prepared and ready for whatever the morning brought. As her thoughts silently drifted around her she slowly fell asleep. And though she was on the hard ground, she was warm and quite content to her current situation. She slept without dreaming._

* * *

><p>Maura let Jonathan carry the small glass of orange juice upstairs, exactly like the glass of milk the night before. She made sure to walk in front of him this morning. She did not know how the Alpha would react, and she wanted to be sure of his safety. Based on previous experiences and observations from yesterday she did not think the Alpha was at all violent when collared, she shouldn't be in any case, but she wasn't going to take any chances. When she got to the top of the stairs and started walking down the hallway she noticed the shower curtain from the bathroom was open and there was a pile of clothes on the floor. Good, she thought. She must have cleaned herself up last night.<p>

As she approached the doorway to the Alpha's room she noticed she wasn't in the bed. Maura momentarily stiffened, recalling the day before when she had hidden behind the door out of sight, but immediately calmed herself remembering that she would not be violent right now. Not with bit of metal and leather around her neck. She slowly stepped into the room, warning Jonathan with a look to stay where he was standing. His eyes grew wide but he nodded slowly; he was such a good boy.

Slowly walking forward she noticed a mass covered by the bed quilt in the corner opposite her. It was moving steadily. Putting the tray on the dresser Maura took another couple steps and crouched down closer to the quilt ball. She knew better than to touch the mass before her, who she was sure, was the Raven. So instead she started to croon, like a mother to their child. Her croon soon changed to song and she began singing The Last Unicorn by Kenny Loggins. It was a favorite of Than's and since she had sung it so much since his birth she had it memorized to perfection. She might not be a singer but she could softly croon a lullaby like any other mother on earth.

The bundle before began to move with the first stirrings of someone returning from the land of dreams to the land of reality.

Maura continued to sing.

The bundle continued to move slightly until Maura notice it stiffen and move no further.

She kept singing.

And this time now that she was sure her guest was awake she carefully moved the quilt away from what she was sure the upper body of the woman on the floor. When she had her head uncovered, and the sleepy brown eyes before her fixed with her own, she smiled.

"It's okay. I just wanted to let you know I brought you some breakfast." She motioned for Jonathan to come slowly towards her. "And Jonathan brought you some orange juice. Not a lot though, I worry how your stomach will react to something so acidic, when I am sure you have not had any in quite a while."

Jonathan stood next to his mother, looking at the woman who slowly turned her gaze towards his. He smiled. "It's good! Like the milk last night. I promise." The gaze went back to Maura.

"Jonathan honey why don't you put the glass on her tray. We'll let her wake up and eat, and you can go do your outside chores."

He pouted.

"Jonathan." That was all it took. He knew better then to anger his mother she spoke in _that_ voice.

"Ok momma." He retreated towards the dresser, setting the glass down, and then proceeded to leave the room. Maura smiled as she watched him go.

She looked back towards the Alpha and stood up. The woman below her cringed back into the corner she slept in last night.

"I'm glad you felt alright to take a shower last night. And thank-you for washing you dishes. You didn't have to do that.

"I'll leave you to your breakfast then. If you need me I'll be downstairs in the kitchen ok? I'd really like it if you would come join me. Only if you're comfortable though. I won't force you." She turned her head towards the window, and the Alpha's gaze followed Maura's.

"It's going to be a wonderful day today. We're still in spring so it's not too hot out yet."

Maura glanced out of the corner of her eyes to see the Alpha a little bit more awake than she was a few minutes ago. She was still tense but she was eying the tray, which was still lightly steaming. Making the decision to exit sooner rather than later so the Alpha could eat while it was still hot she slowly walked out of the room, and back down the hall. Once again she left a bewildered Alpha in behind her.

* * *

><p><em>It wasn't until the woman left that the Alpha finally woke fully. She looked towards the dresser and seeing the steam rise from the tray she untangled herself from the quilt on the floor. She stood slowly, back still against the wall. If last night's meal was anything to go by then this morning's would be just as good. Not that she had much experience with good food, so anything could was good really, but she was surprised to feel herself slightly excited with the prospect of the food now before her. <em>

_She ate with gusto._


	7. Chapter 7

**OMG! Two updates in two days. Aren't you excited? All of your wonderful reviews, follows and favorites got the juices flowing and I couldn't help myself. I hope you like this chapter.**

Maura had started to wonder if they were going to make any progress in the Alpha's rehabilitation. It had been close to 3 weeks and the woman living in the attic had yet to venture downstairs when either Maura or Jonathan was also in the vicinity. There had been a routine of sorts formed over the past weeks. A routine of meals given, odd glances, observations and dishware returned in the cover of darkness. Always clean, always orderly.

This morning apparently was going to be different. Jonathan was in his room getting ready for school while Maura was fixing all three of them their breakfasts. Today was a French toast day. Jonathan's favorite, and one Maura did not often cook. Maura knew she didn't make it like Cameron did. She used the same ingredients in the same amounts but somehow it still never tasted quite like hers.

It must have been a special touch that only Cameron could apply. She missed Cameron terribly, it was days like today where she seemed to reminisce the most. Days when it should have been her getting Jonathan ready for school while Maura was tending the horses in the stables that needed any health checks or treatments. She sighed.

That was when she noticed the movement.

A silent figure was slowly creeping its way further in the room while the mother's thoughts had drifted. Too tall to be Jonathan it could only be the Alpha. It had stopped at her sigh. She continued on with her task of cooking the French toast, hoping the figure she could just make out from the corner of her eyes came closer. Eventually, one small inch at a time the Alpha came closer until she was about 5 feet from Maura.

Just standing there.

Standing there and observing Maura's movements as she worked on breakfast.

Maura pretended to ignore her, worried that if she acknowledged the woman in the room with her she would flee back to the safety of the attic. Turning towards the fridge Maura opened the door and pulled out the orange juice. She took the glass off the tray next to the two plates on the counter and placed it on the kitchen table with the others. She filled the glasses, not once looking at the Alpha. She plated the French toast and placed all three plates on the table with the glasses making sure one place setting was slightly more separated then the other two. Lastly she grabbed the bowl of fruit out of the fridge and placed it in the center of the table.

Briefly leaning out of the kitchen she shouted down the hall, "Jonathan! Breakfast is ready. You should be done by now".

The Alpha jumped. And surprisingly to Maura did not flee.

"Coming!" he yelled back.

He skirted around the corner only to stop when he saw the Alpha. He stared at her, and she stared at him in return.

"Than."

He looked towards his mother, around the form of the Alpha.

"Come on. Before it gets cold."

He nodded and went to sit at his normal place setting. He quickly started eating with the exuberance of a small boy always growing.

"Fruit too Than."

He screwed his face up, but did as his mother asked.

"Why don't you out some on our friend's plate too? I bet she would like some." Maura sat down as she said this.

Knowing he was helping, like he always wanted to do, he eagerly put the fruit on the Alpha's plate.

"Sit," he told her. "You'll like this too."

Part of the routine again. Jonathan was always the one to tell the tall woman what to do and that she would like the food or drink. She seemed to be ok with his commands so Maura usually let him direct her some.

She edged closer to the table. Every few seconds glancing at Maura to see what she would do.

Which was nothing.

She sat at the table, picked up her fork and cut a piece of the sweetened toast. Before she put the bite in her mouth she glanced towards Maura one more time, as if making sure that it was okay for her to be eating there. As if making sure that Maura would not take the food from her plate, even though Maura had yet to do so in the three weeks she had been at the ranch.

Maura ignored her.

Once the first bit was swallowed she started eating more like Than. Only this form of eating looked like it was from someone who had never tasted something so wonderful, from someone who was always hungry no matter how much was eaten.

It didn't take long for Jonathan to finish. Once done he bolted from the room and went to finish getting ready for school. Lucky for Maura he loved school so the morning routine wasn't a difficulty.

Maura finished not too many minutes after Jonathan did. She got up and grabbed Jonathan and hers plates and put them in the sink. When she saw Jonathan was ready and at the front door, bouncing from foot to foot she smiled and told him, "I'm almost ready Than, go outside and wait for me." He was out the door like a rocket.

Maura finally acknowledged the Alpha sitting at the table, still eating. "I'm going to walk Jonathan down the drive, to the road. The school bus gets him there. I'll be back in about 20 minutes okay? I would very much like it if you were still downstairs when I got back. But remember, you don't have to stay down here if you don't want to."

The woman at the table had stopped eating when the ranch owner spoke. She continued her meal when Maura left the room.

* * *

><p>When Maua returned to the house, after placing Jonathan on the school bus, she walked straight to the kitchen. She was still there. Sitting in the same chair. Maura smiled as she noticed all the dishes had been washed in her absence. Even the griddle she had used to make the french toast. She was facing the Alpha's back so she made sure to shuffle her feet a little to let her presence be known. Walking around the kitchen table she took a kitchen chair and set it closer to the Alpha. Closer than they had been when eating breakfast.<p>

Once she sat down neither of them moved. Maura knew it was a waiting game, so she just sat there and looked out the kitchen window above the sink. Eventually she noticed the Alpha brought her hands on top of the table and she was worrying the palms. Pushing on them like they hurt.

It didn't long for Maura's eye to catch the scars in the center of both palm top and bottom. She internally cringed at the thought of something going through the palm like that. All the muscles and nerves that had to have been severed from such an injury had to have been horrific. Before she could stop herself Maura reached towards the hands on top of the table she grasped the left hand in her own.

The alpha instantly stiffened and tried to jerk away.

This was the first time they had had any kind of contact and Maura knew it was too late to go back now. Either she could get the Alpha to stay or she would run to the attic. She would not release the hand. It was pulled back again and Maura's grip only tightened.

The Alpha started to panic. She could see it and feel it in the woman's movement and unsteady breaths. But she had to do this. She had to initiate contact somehow and this would be a good place to start. Maura knew her hands must hurt, which was why she was worrying them, so she would try and offer some relief.

The Alpha kept tugging and Maura kept hanging on.

Eventually Maura got her hands in the right position and started to press on the palms from out to in, towards the scars. She applied gentle pressure to massage the palm in her hand, without letting go whenever the Alpha tried to tug away. It took close to 15 minutes before the hand in her own stopped trying to move away, and instead almost seemed to be pushed towards Maura instead.

"Whatever pierced your palms did a lot of damage. I imagine they hurt frequently, from too much use or just colder weather." Maura was talking to the hand in her own. "It's because of all the nerves, blood vessels and muscles that had to have been severed. Your hands can no longer get proper circulation, so they are going to ache." She continued on for a few minutes.

"Massaging the palms like this will help increase circulation. And in return they should hurt less often." She slowly stopped with the left hand and opened her own. The hand was removed from hers, and Maura left her hands open on top of the table.

She smiled when the right hand was tentatively placed in her own. She began the same process for this one. As Maura worked she noticed the Alpha's breathing evening out and her posture relaxed slightly.

The moment was shattered when a slightly heavyset man walked into the kitchen through the screen door. The Alpha immediately stole her hand back and stood so quickly that she knocked the kitchen chair over in her haste to get back upstairs. Maura watched her go with a slight frown and turned a smoldering gaze towards the man who had walked into the kitchen unannounced.

"Hello Vince. What can I do for you?"

He glanced from Maura to the stairs, and back to Maura again.

"Who was that?"

She sighed. "That was my newest patient, whom you probably just regressed back to the state she was in when she arrived. What did you need?"

"You took in another one? How long has she been here? What about Jonathan?"

"Everything's fine Vince, at least it was before you walked in."

"You should have told me you had another one here. You know I would steer clear of the house," he responded with his own exasperation.

Maura pinched the bridge of her nose. "You are right. I'm sorry. That was just the first time she had let me touch her, and now I worry what she might have regressed to."

Vince just looked at her.

"What did you need?"

"Oh," he got his mind back on track, "The newest batch of horses will be here next week."

"How many this time?"

"I was told 5," he answered.

Maura stood up and glanced towards the stairs. "Ok, let's go outside and we can start getting ready for their arrival."

Vince nodded. "I am sorry Maura. I just didn't realize you were still helping them. I thought you quit after Cameron."

She smiled at the man. "I did. But this one is different."

"You say that about them all," he chuckled nervously.

"I supposed I do, but this one…" Maura trailed off. "This one is something special. _She_ is something special."

"Ok. Well I'll be in the recovery stable. I'll see you there in a few minutes."

Maura nodded her head in understanding.

She wished the massage had not ended so abruptly. She knew set backs were a part of the process, but it never made it any easier. She went to her room to change into clothes better suited for working in the stables. She left the house to the Alpha. Hopefully she would venture from the attic again today. She giggled momentarily. If wishes were horses. Well she had plenty of horses. It was the wishes that were a problem.

* * *

><p><em>Her hands felt better. In fact they had never felt this good after <em>it_ happened. The man downstairs had scared her. In fact most men scared her to a degree but his untimely arrival, when she had let her guard down slightly, and the gray of his hair momentarily threw her back into her memories of _him._ And thus what had been done to her. But her hands. The woman's hands had felt so good when they pushed against her palms. _

_It only took a few moments to feel safe again in the attic. Walking to the window she saw the man leave the house, and not too many minutes later she saw _her_ leave the house as well. They both disappeared from sight around the corner and the Alpha breathed a small sigh of relief that she was alone again. When she had first come back upstairs she had worried that the woman would be angry, that she would be punished. _

_She looked at her hands for the third time. She made her hands feel better though. Not worse. Maybe she could be trusted. The Alpha did like the little boy. Maybe she could like the woman too. _

_The events of the morning had left her drained. Going to the corner she wrapped herself in the quilt that she had slept in the first night here and settled on thin pad on the floor that the woman had given her. It was soft enough to provide some comfort but not too soft that she couldn't sleep. She snuggled down in the quilt. And as seemed to be the norm now she slept without dreaming._


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter. What do I say about this chapter. First and foremost the Alpha's view at the end is shocking. And honestly I can't believe I went there, even for this brief moment. So be warned. Really be warned. I hope my muse allows me a bit more lighthearted chapter after this one. Cause the ending on this one….does not make fluffy inside ones soul. All mistakes are mine. Onward!**

A week.

A little over a week actually.

It had been over a week and already it felt like a lifetime to Maura. Every morning when she went to the kitchen she had a hope that the Alpha would join them for breakfast, and every morning Maura was disappointed when she didn't come down from the attic.

It wasn't like Maura didn't see her. She saw here every day, multiple times, but for some reason that one morning at breakfast with all three of them at the table was something special and exposed some entirely unexpected feeling in Maura that she wasn't sure how to interpret. She was very smart, she might not be a doctor per say, but she knew that she had a slightly more gifted intelligence than the average human. But for some reason she could not understand these feelings. Maybe it was just the fact that there was someone in the house again, other than Jonathan and herself. It had been quite some time, time enough to feel lonely for companionship that only an adult could provide.

That was the weird thing. Biologically the Alpha was an adult, but her submissive behavior lent her to be more childlike in nature currently. Maura's insides didn't feel that way. Logically she knew her gut could not think, or react to emotions. It was all in her head and in the hormones her body produced, but for some reason that one morning of breakfast with the Alpha at the kitchen table seemed to quench Maura's thirst, quench it like only the rain could quench dry soil.

She felt better, was happier, truly, that she had been the past few months. A small change maybe but it was enough for her to feel lighter and freer. Who knew that helping the woman upstairs was exactly what she needed.

So when Maura went into the kitchen that Sunday morning she was startled to see the Alpha sitting at the dining room table. Hands in her lap. Eyes down. Waiting.

She just stood in the doorway and stared, not realizing the time was going by, and that the more she stood without moving the more nervous the Alpha was becoming. The clock on the wall struck 7am, and chimed, knocking Maura out of whatever chance the woman before her drawn her into. She noticed immediately the body before her was stiffer than when she first entered the kitchen, a little more shrunken in on itself.

As Maura got herself moving forward, further into the kitchen, the woman seated at the table stiffened further so.

Maura pretended not to notice.

She continued on to the refrigerator and removed the juice from the fridge.

She walked to the cubbard holding the glasses, pulled two down, and set them on the counter. Jonathan was still asleep. A small miracle Maura was grateful for. He was normally up as the crack of dawn he had just too much energy to be wasted on sleep.

Going back to her task she poured the juice in both glasses, put the juice back and then set them on the kitchen table. One in front of the Alpha and one next to her. All the while pretending to ignore the nervous woman who looked ready to bolt any second.

As soon as she sat down she took a drink of the juice, placed her hands, palm up, on the table and waited.

And waited.

And waited still.

Her patience paid off 30 minutes later when a long fingered hand, the Left one, made its way into her own.

She still waited. This time for the stiffness to leave the wrist and arm it was attached to.

When it did she started massaging like she had done the week before. And this time she yearned that there would be no interruptions. She should have known better.

At that point Jonathan came barreling into the room, with all the energy a six year old never seemed to run out of. The Alpha startled and pulled her hand back. But surprisingly to Maura she didn't run. She certainly looked like she wanted to but she didn't. Maybe it was because the Alpha knew Jonathan in a way, having seen him every day at least once. Or maybe she was just getting better. Maura never guessed but she actually though it might be a little bit of both.

Jonathan looked at his mother, "What' for breakfast?"

"Just cereal today Than," his eyes lit up at that, "with fruit or yogurt." And there was the pout.

She smiled at him.

"I thought maybe we could show her around outside a bit this morning," nodding to the Alpha, who seemed to trying to decide what to do with her other hand, the one she had not had a chance to massage yet. She was just looking at it.

"Can we? Please? I want to take her to Spartan! Please?"

"We can try, if you eat your cereal along with the yogurt or fruit." She tried no to show it but she was momentarily startled by another hand being placed in her own again. The Right one this time. She was still looking at Jonathan as she began working the muscles, tendons and nerves.

He eagerly nodded his head as he went to the pantry to get his cereal. There bowls on the counter drying, from when the Alpha did the dishes the night before. Maura had come to expect it.

She turned her head to the hand in hers, noticed that the fingers looks a little less curled in on themselves from pain. As she slowly stopped the Alpha pulled her hand back. Maura stood up and went to grab some bowls for herself and the Alpha, quickly filling them with fruit, yogurt and granola. They all ate breakfast in silence, though Jonathan pulled some faces as he ate his helping of yogurt.

Once the dishes were washed, and Jonathan was dressed, it was time to see if they could encourage the Alpha to go outside with them. Maura had been glad to see the Alpha was already dressed downstairs but she was also barefoot, which presented a problem. She had a feeling that the Alpha had not actually worn shoes in quite awhile and worried that if her feet were enclosed in a traditional shoe she might panic a bit. If she could she would let her go barefoot but if they were going to around the stable she really needed some proper shoes.

Already knowing that based on her height her feet would be larger than Maura's she knew the only other shoes in the house that might fit were Cameron's. She had to suck in a breath at that. Normally she would not have had such a lapse in being fully prepared for the arrival of a Raven but because of the short notice and the unusual case this presented as it totally slipped her mind.

"Wait here Jonathan; I need to get a couple things upstairs first ok?"

He looked at her and nodded, then also shot a glance at the Alpha.

"Why don't you talk to her? She might not answer but you can tell her all about yourself and maybe a bit about Spartan too. As she walked away she heard him talk enthusiacally about his school field trip to the dairy farm the week prior. Her mouth quirked slightly until she remembered there were some tears to fight ahead of her so she tuned him out as she went to her bedroom.

* * *

><p>She shouldn't have been surprised. As soon as she handed the Alpha socks and an old pair of running shoes of Cameron's the Alpha, after a quick second of surprise, sat down on the floor and put on the shoes and socks.<p>

Maura watched silently, mouth slightly agape, at the how well the woman in front of her was responding to today. She caught herself staring and closed her mouth, looking out the window trying to rationalize the fact that yes this is definitely a good sign but they still had quite a ways to go. They hadn't even attempted to take the collar off yet, that was its own issue entirely. She just hoped today would provide no setbacks like last week. She knew she should not be thinking this way, the woman who was not standing with shoes on her feet, was just a patient. Just someone whom she was helping and eventually would send on her way. Just like all the others before her.

So why did she feel like crying when she thought of the Alpha not being here? Why did her gut twist in anxiety?

* * *

><p>She immediately balked when she saw the horses. It wasn't as hard Maura expected to get the Alpha out of the house. In fact it was easy; she might have even thought it was too easy. She set that though aside to contemplate later. Right now she needed to calm the woman down so she wouldn't run. She had been inside for too long. She needed to be outside some for her wellbeing.<p>

Maura was glad she had walked out of the house without having to be led out. Somehow Maura would not have been comfortable with that, maybe she just knew deep down that if it had come to that it would she would have felt more like the owner of collared woman leading her around like a dog. Maura knew the Alpha would have obeyed her if she had brought her outside herself. That would have made her feel dirty, because she knew that any progress made the past few weeks would have been lost immediately, for the both of them, if Maura had to act the part of owner and not potential friend.

But now that they were outside and were walking towards the stables and training rings she wondered if this was in fact too soon. A few more days inside would not have killed the Alpha. Especially now as she was reluctant to handle her physically fearing that it would cause a shift in their relationship that Maura did not want. At least Korsak wasn't here, or any of the other hands. They wouldn't get here for another hour, Sunday hours on the ranch were more slack than the rest of the week. Time enough to introduce the Alpha to her surroundings.

"Jonathan honey, why don't you go ahead and get started on some of your chores alright? Go ahead and start with Spartan and his stall. Get it nice and clean for when we go see him." She kept an eye on the Alpha while she talked to Jonathan.

"Ok Momma," he replied eagerly. Normally he wasn't so eager to do his chores but today he wanted to show off how good of a job he could do. He ran off without a backwards glance to the two women standing, unmoving on the grass.

Maura looked fully at the Alpha; she honestly wasn't sure what was making her stop. They hadn't even reached the stable yet though the fear in the Alpha's eyes was clearly evident.

Maura hated to do it, she really did but she didn't want her to panic too much. Against her better judgments she placed her hand gently on the Alpha's back. As soon as she did so she knew it was the wrong move. The woman slumped in defeat and continued walking towards the stables. Head down. Eyes hidden.

* * *

><p><em>This was it. She should have known better than to hope for a better life here. The woman who owned her had been so wonderful up until now, but this was it. She had had a feeling that it would all come crashing down and reality of her situation would really come to light. The kindness that was expressed was never going to last long. How many times had she been duped before thinking that maybe THIS time would be different? All she did was set herself up for heartache. She didn't want to keep walking, but when the woman put a hand on her back she slumped in defeat and knew this was where the kindness ended and where the pain and torture began. Only this time it was going to be different than all before it.<em>

_It wasn't the horses that had stopped her. She knew what they were. It was the buildings behind it and the words that were spoken. Stalls and Spartan stood out the most. She had known they existed but had been lucky enough to avoid them in her time as a Raven, but it looked like her time had run out. She knew life here would be better than in the rings, but at the same time this was worse. Oh god why did she have to be so unlucky in her existence._

_She was a breeder. Her owner was a breeder for the authority, which could be the only reason that she was asked to come outside today and why she was brought here. _

_Spartan. That must be who she was going to be paired with. Who she was supposed to breed with. NO! This was wrong, this couldn't be happening. But it was. The hand on her back leading her towards the stables was all the proof she needed. Internally she was screaming, but outside her body she made no noise like she was taught. She knew she was special, that the mark on her face made her significant somehow. And now that the woman had her she was to be used, but not quite like before. _

_She accepted her fate. She remembered seeing the man with the whip the first morning here and though he seemed to be using it on the horses she was sure they used them on the Ravens too. She didn't want to be hit again. So she accepted her fate. Head down. Eyes hidden. Alone._

**Please remember that the Alpha knows nothing of kindness since her capture as a young child. All she has to go on are her experiences in her brutal training and in the ring. I know this makes it depressing but I feel it is a necessary evil**. **It will get better.**


	9. Chapter 9

**The second half of this chapter came to me at work one day when I heard a commercial on the radio for a certain product. You might figure out the product while reading. Kudos to you if you do. To be safe and not sorry I will add a slight warning also to the second half of the chapter. Nothing is said really, just implied, but one can't be too safe. **

**Thank you all soooooo much for the review and follows. I am so happy you are enjoying this story. I never thought it would take off like it has. You all have made me very happy.**

_It._

_It was._

_It was not what she had been expecting._

_In front of her stood a fairly large pony. A little smaller than a normal horse but bigger around the girth. It was red, with a blonde mane and tail. _

_It was a pony._

_And NOT another Raven._

_She was confused. The thoughts and emotions inside her were all over the place and she did not know what to think. So she just stood there. Watching the woman converse with the boy as the boy brushed the pony from inside its stall. _

_Inside the pony's stall, not a Ravens stall._

_She was confused. _

_What was this place? It had good food. A much better place to sleep than she had ever had before. It had horses and ponys for little boys._

_It had the woman who made her hands feel better. _

_She looked at them and flexed them, not aware that the woman next to her was watching her intently. _

_What was this place?_

_..._

Maura wasn't sure what to do. The Alpha had stopped moving at the first sighting of Spartan, Jonathan's pony. And now she was just looking at her hands.

She made the decision to touch her a second time. Hoping there would be no negative reaction this time like when they were walking to the stables. She had noticed that during the walk from the house to in front of this stall the Raven had become increasingly more submissive in her posture. But without being able to truly converse with her there was no way for Maura to know what she was thinking.

So she touched her.

The Alpha looked at her. Then back to the pony.

She did not pull away in fright or submission so Maura just stood there lightly touching her on the top of her back.

"Do you wanna touch him?" Jonathan was looking at the Raven, who was still staring at the pony. Maura saw her eyes twitch downwards towards Jonathan's own eyes. It didn't last long but Jonathan must have seen it too. He reached out his hand, and instinctively seemed to know to wait for the Alpha to come to him.

Maura loved him for it. She realized then that he had closely been watching all her interactions with the Alpha and seemed to be trying to copy her. She knew he did not quite realize who exactly this woman was that was staying in their attic or why his mother was taking care of her. He was doing his best to help anyway. Patiently waiting for all the answers that she knew he had questions for all shelved and ready.

It did not take the Alpha long to take a cautious step forward, making as wide a berth around the pony as possible within the limited space of the stall. She reached her hand out to his and even though she hesitated further, Jonathan never wavered. Eventually her larger hand was cradled gently in his much smaller one and with stiff legs she was brought forward so her hand touched the pony's coat.

Maura watched in awe.

The Alpha pulled her hand away when she was momentarily startled by the pony turning its head in her direction and blowing air out his nose. Jonathan reached out again waiting. And this time he only had to wait for half a minute before the Alpha was beside him again, touching the pony lightly.

Maura didn't understand how their government could let this happen to someone. Somehow the Authority was the little brother to their government, the spoiled youngest child that got away with everything. It didn't help matters that this youngest child brought in a great deal of money nationally and internationally. The system ignored the happenings of the Ravens plight as long as their pockets were lined with cash. And as long as the populous also ignored what they knew were happening things would never change.

She sighed as she stepped closer to the pony, which reached its neck out and blew in her face softly. She responded in kind by blowing gently into his nose, getting reacquainted with each other in a polite greeting.

The Alpha was watching her she noticed, though with subtlety. "Horses and many other herding animals greet each other by blowing in each other's noses. It's a way to say 'Hello' and to introduce and become reacquainted with each other." She was gently stroking the pony's neck now too. She blushed when she realized she was rambling. The Alpha was still looking at her.

Maura leaned back to look at Jonathan behind the Alpha's back. "OK Jonathan, it's time to get to work on everyone else's stall ok?" He glanced at his mother before sighing in resignation of his fate.

Maura smiled. "Come one, let's finish this up and then I'll help you ride a bit." His face screwed up into a megawatt smile. He slowly walked out of the stall but then bolted down the stable row to start on the stalls farthest from Spartan's. Maura followed him out of the stall, "Do a thorough job Than! Don't rush because you want to ride sooner. If you rush you won't ride at all today," she called after him.

He stepped back into the row looking at his mother. "Ok mama."

Maura turned back to the Alpha, who was still stroking Spartan's side. He looked to have almost fallen asleep with the gentle rhythm of the Alpha's hand on his flank. Maura held out her hand this time, hoping the Alpha would take it. Her own face turned up into its own megawatt smile when the long fingered one slid into her own slowly. She gently led them from Spartan's stall, making sure he was secure before walking hand in hand down the row with the Alpha slightly behind her. Maura felt a stirring in her stomach. The smile never left her face.

* * *

><p><em>She was dying. She had to be. She couldn't get it to stop. And she knew what happened to people who bled out. She couldn't figure out what was happening. She held her knees tight to her chest and just sat there. <em>

_Waiting for the end. _

_Waiting for the darkness she knew would come._

_..._

She was worried. The past few weeks, since the introduction to Spartan, had gone so smoothly for the Alpha that Maura had wondered when there might be a bump in the road. She contemplated if today was that day. It was late morning, and she had not come downstairs yet, which was unusual due to their new routine. So being the mother she was Maura worried.

Close to noon Maura screwed up the courage to go upstairs herself, even though she hated to do so. She knew that attic room was the Alpha's safe place and since she came downstairs for meals now Maura found no reason to go up there. She wanted the Alpha to have her own place. A safe place. She didn't not want to intrude but she was so worried that something bad may have happened.

She climbed the stairs.

Walked down the hall towards the bedroom.

She got two steps past the open bathroom door when she stopped, and let the information that invaded her conscious from her peripheral vision soak in her mind. Turning around she cautiously approached the bathroom and slowly came around the corner of the doorway to see the Alpha huddled in the bath tub, naked, and shaking. And with no sound, even for someone who seemed in such distress. They needed to work on that too.

Maura made small noises with her feet on the floor, and hands along the wall to alert the Alpha of her presence, and then she stepped fully into the bathroom. No reaction.

She stepped closer, and that was when she saw it. There was what looked to be blood all over the clothes in the sink. It looked like the Alpha had tried to wash them, and failed in her attempt. Maura was very worried now.

Blood? What could have happened for her to be bleeding? Oh god, she looks so terrified. What has she done?

No. She could not have done anything. But the blood.

She passed the sink and moved up to stand beside the tub. She slowly crouched down so as to not be towering over the Alpha. There was blood in the tub. It was smeared in the bottom and looked to have been there long enough for a lot of it to try and clot. However there was still some that was fresh.

It was then that the Alpha finally noticed her presence. She started to panic further. She was shaking so hard it was a wonder that the tub didn't detach itself from the wall. She scurried to the farthest corner of the tub she could reach, smearing more as she moved.

Maura tried to reach out for her but when the Alpha flinched back and turned her head away from her touch Maura stopped herself and pulled her hand back outside the tub. She couldn't see any noticeable injuries on the slightly tanned body in front of her. There was no blood on her torso or arms, and very little on her legs, most likely from moving around. What was going on?

It hit her then. Hit her so hard, like when a meteor hits the earth. How could she have been so stupid? She was a smart woman, very smart, when she truly thought about it. How could it slip her mind? Why now? But the Alpha had been her over 3 months, why is it starting now?

She was menstruating. And from look of terror on her face and the way she was reacting the woman in the tub had no idea what was happening. It didn't make any sense though; she was indeed a woman so she should have had them before. All of the previous Ravens she had treated knew what it was and took care of it no problem, even the ones that had not been her so long.

It took her a few moments. Eventually Maura realized what the Authority had been doing with this woman. They must have had her on a 3 month preventative. It was most likely injections to totally prevent her from having a cycle. She was an Alpha; of course they did not want her to get pregnant, whether it was from the trainers or the male Ravens. She was worth too much to any kind of down time. If she had gotten pregnant the Authority would have lost 'precious cash' waiting for the Alpha to recover.

For being so smart Maura felt very stupid in that moment. It slipped her mind with how busy everything was that the Alpha didn't seem to be experiencing and signs or symptoms of menstruating. Maura rubbed her temples in frustration at herself. This was going to be a seriously delicate matter to take care of. She had to teach a woman in her late 20's, a woman who had been seriously abused, what menstruation was and how to take care of herself.

"Ok honey. Let's get started shall we. We'll start with a warm shower and go from there."

Maura got to work.

* * *

><p>It took a couple hours, but eventually Maura got the Alpha calmed down enough to help her shower, dressed (with sanitary pads) and a lesson on what was going on. She couldn't be sure but she hoped the Alpha had understood what she was trying to explain and how to take care of herself. She would see in a day if that was the case.<p>

Now she was sitting on the floor next to the Alpha, massaging her hands, since they missed it this morning. Slowly Maura stopped with the second hand and was about to get up when the Alpha grabbed her wrist. Maura stopped moving and turned to looks at the Alpha. She wasn't looking at Maura but moved from grabbing Maura's wrist to holding her hand.

Maura didn't move a muscle. This was some of the first voluntary touching on the Alpha's part and she did not want to screw it up the progress that was being made. The Alpha started to lie down on her pad on the floor and Maura took that as her queue to leave this time. The Alpha would not let go of her hand. Instead she held Maura's hand in her own and laid her head in Maura's lap, closing her eyes. Maura felt her sigh in what must be contentment and her breathing deepen in sleep.

It took a moment for the situation to really process itself in Maura's brain but once she did she felt a single tear sliding down her cheek. Taking her other hand she started stroking the Alpha's hair. It had been a trying morning and in a matter of minutes Maura was asleep as well. She wouldn't wake up until the slamming of the kitchen door alerted her to Jonathan's return from school. The Alpha was still asleep, and she was loath to wake her but it she needed to get started on dinner and entertaining a six year old boy till it was time for his bedtime.

As she tried to move out from beneath the head in her lap she felt the Alpha stiffen, and then turn her head to look at Maura's face. They both started at each other unmoving. Then the Alpha took one of her hand and reached up to Maura's face. After a moment she gently touched Maura on the cheek and Maura felt something inside herself stirring, something that she hadn't felt in a long time.

The moment was broken however by a loud, "MAMA!"

Quickly the Alpha pulled away, got to her feet and retreated to the bathroom. Only this time she actually closed the door.

Maura sat stunned. What the hell was that?


	10. Chapter 10

**Over 100 reviews and almost 250 follows, wow, I am flabbergasted that so many of you are enjoying this. I never thought it would go over so well. Thank you sooo much! This chapter is shorter than the previous few, but not by too much. This is kind of a filler chapter, but I still feel some important points happen. Some interesting stuff is about to go down in the next few chapter. Prepare yourselves. Let's do this!**

_She stood at the doorway looking outside the open door. She saw the sun was out and there were only a few stray wisps of cloud in the sky. It was a beautiful day. She glanced back to woman at the kitchen table who seemed to be ignoring her. She knew better. She knew all her actions watched carefully and monitored for any indiscretion. _

_ That was something she had to think about. What was she to this woman? She had not had to fight since she had arrived here, but the food, where she was sleeping and everything had to come with a price. There was always a price and it usually got taken out of her skin in one way or another. _

_ She had never been outside much with her last owners. Except for a few glimpses here and there when moving from a vehicle into a building for the next fight, she had never had the chance to explore. She assumed she played outside as a child, but those were fuzzy memories. Memories of a time when someone might have cared for her and of other children she lived with that looked similar to her. _

_ Or were they wishes? She did not know._

_ She came out of her musings to look towards the table again. The woman was still sitting there; she was reading a giant paper. She did that every morning after she finished rubbing her palms. They were feeling so much better since _HE_ had made his point with those small sharp knives. _

_ Looking outside again she saw that there was no one around. She wanted to see the horses. She had liked meeting them. They did not know what she was or her purpose and she knew they did not judge. All of the ones she had met a few days ago had let her touch them. There were so many different sizes and colors; she wanted to see them again._

_ She started to take a step outside the doorway, but before she actually took a step she once again looked behind her, making sure the woman wasn't about to go after her. When it looked like she might actually stay seated she took her first hesitant outside. By herself. She stopped and waited to be dragged back inside, waited for the inevitable punishment. _

_After a few minutes she tried to remind herself that this place didn't seem like all the rest. Taking a few more steps away from the doorway and the house gave her the confidence to continue further. When no one shouted at her made to go after her she continued on to the stables she was at a few days ago. There were so many buildings she wanted to go into but she did not want to chance her luck. She stuck with what she knew._

_Walking inside she immediately took a deep breath, and realized she liked the smell of these animals. She definitely liked it more than the smell of the human stables where she had come from. Walking slowly down the stalls she glanced at all the horses she passed, and stopped at a few to say hi, remembering what the woman had told her yesterday about boundaries, how the horses cannot see straight ahead, and to move slowly. _

_She remembered everything the woman said. She was realizing that was a lot to remember. _

_When she got to the end of line of stalls she was back outside again. She wondered what to do. Looking around she spotted the road that lead away from the stables and the rest of the property. _

_Should she? _

_Should she leave now while she had the chance?_

_Would leaving here be better than staying? _

_She still didn't know her purpose._

_Her feet started carrying her before she could answer any of these questions. They carried her onto the well-kept dirt lane. She walked for close to 20 minutes before she came to another road. This one was paved and intersected the dirt road. There were no cars around; it looked to be deserted for now. _

_How far could she get before she was captured again? _

_How far could she get before got into some kind of trouble?_

_Was it worth the risk?_

_Should she leave the woman, the boy and horses?_

_She resumed walking._

* * *

><p>Maura was starting to get slightly worried. The Alpha had left a few hours ago and had not returned. She had missed lunch, which was not unusual but something was bothering the blonde. She contemplated going out to look for her but there were still hours of light left in the day and she wanted the Alpha to feel freedom. She did not want to cage the damaged woman in.<p>

Her maternal instincts needed to take a back seat.

She sighed in resignation when she realized that would never happen.

Cleaning the house and the attic, since the Alpha was not there, had kept her busy but the worry was always in her mind. It might momentarily be directed towards a different task but it never left.

Maura looked at the clock for the fifth time in as many minutes.

She couldn't stand it any longer she had to go look for her, had to make sure that she was okay and not injured somewhere.

_Oh god, what if one of the horses had hurt her!_

No, she wouldn't think the worst. She got her work boots on and immediately went outside. She wouldn't come back until she found her.

...

She wasn't on the property. She could not find her in a single one of the stables or stalls. She wasn't hiding around the side of the house or in any of the hay barns or work sheds. It wasn't until she stopped, staring but unseeing at the drive to the main road that it clicked.

She left.

She actually took the chance and left.

Maura couldn't believe it. She had hoped she would come back, that was why she didn't want to pressure the woman to stay in boundaries. She had really believed that the kindness that had been shown to her would be enough to start to overcome her fears and she would actually stay.

Maura felt the fool.

She had to make sure though, so she started her own trek down the drive to the main road. It was the longest walk of her life.

...

Maura stared at the sight 20 yards ahead of her.

She had gotten three quarters down the drive, each step making her more and more unhappy until now.

Now she just stared at the sight before her.

It was the Alpha. Crouched down and looking at a flower it seemed. Though she also had something cradled to her chest that Maura could not see. What was she doing?

Maura walked closer, scuffling her feet against the small rocks and stone on the drive to get the Alpha's attention.

Her head snapped up immediately from the flower she was looking at. Maura stepped closer. The Alpha shrank in on herself. Maura winced slightly.

As she came closer she could see the flower that the Alpha was looking at. It was a spectacular flower, so unusual and colorful. No wonder the Alpha had stopped, Maura doubted she had ever seen anything like it before. It was a Passion flower, ne of the larger varieties that could be found in random places around the country as long as the weather was right for its growth pattern. Maura knew there were a lot of them in their fields. It was one of her favorites. And now maybe one of the Alpha's too.

She knelt down beside the Alpha when she got close enough. The Alpha was looking her through her eyelashes while she looked at the ground. Always the ground.

Maura's eyes shifted to what was cradled to the Alpha's chest.

"What do you have there?" she asked, pointing slightly to the Alpha's hands.

The Alpha stiffened.

"It's alright. Let me see." Maura put her hands together palms up, cupping them. As was usual for them she waited. She was very glad when after a short hesitation the Alpha handed over what she had found.

"Oh!" Maura was slightly startled. "You found a young _Sylvilagus floridanus. _It looks like it has been hurt too, maybe by a hawk of some sort."

Maura looked up to see the Alpha just looking at her with a question in her eyes, forehead scrunched in concentration.

Maura realized the problem immediately and with a pang to her heart. "A rabbit. You found a baby rabbit." She had looked the way Cameron did whenever she spoke and Cameron had no idea what she had said.

The Alpha gingerly held her hand back out, seemingly asking for the rabbit back. Maura slowly handed it back to her, and she immediately cradled it back to her chest.

"It's still breathing, but if we leave it here it won't make it. It will die." Maura stood up. She held a hand out for the Alpha to take. "Come on. We'll take it back to the house and I will see what I can do."

The Alpha looked at her from the ground, looked at her held out hand. Maura was startled when she shifted the rabbit into just one hand and actually took the offered hand. She had not been expecting that.

Maura helped her up, and when she was going to let the hand go she felt it contract around hers further and hang on. She just stood there like an idiot staring at their clasped hands. She looked to the Alpha's face which was withdrawn and waiting.

Maura smiled.

She gently pulled the Alpha along and they made their way down the lane back to the house.

They were one step closer to bring the Alpha back from the pain of her past. One step closer to true freedom.

* * *

><p><em> This woman was so different than the other people she had encountered. Why was she so different?<em>

_ She had been scared she would take the rabbit from her. Scared it would have been left to die alone. _

_ She had just wanted to give it some comfort in its death, for that is all she wanted now out of her current life. She knew she would die someday, and the one thing she had only ever wished for was when it happened she wanted to be comforted. So she was going to do the same for the little rabbit._

_ It was a shock to her that she was given the rabbit back, and then shocked again that she was going to be allowed to take it to the house where the woman said she would help it. _

_ She clearly remembered the comforts she had found a few days ago when she lay with her head in the woman's lap, and how her hands had felt so good in her hair. Those hands had always felt so good to her own so when the hand had been offered it did not take her long to accept it. She never wanted to let go._

_ Once at the house she watched the woman take care of the rabbit like she said she would. She provided a soft place to sleep, water, and coaxed some food into it after sewing the gash on its back up. _

_ Was this what the woman was doing for her?_

_ The similarities were there. For all she knew though the woman could make the rabbit better and let it grow, just to turn around and kill it to eat. She knew all too well how that worked, after witnessing it every day in the arena's and pens. A price always had to be paid. _

_ This rabbits would most likely be its life._

_ So what would she owe for her own care? She didn't care to think about it. Maybe this was the comfort she sought before her ultimate death. _

_ She was so confused. _

_ She did not want to die._

_ She wanted to live._

**I recommend doing a google search of the Passion Flower if you have never seen one before. You will not be disappointed. I did a research project on a species of them for 2 years. Needless to say they are my favorite flower.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Your update is early. And it is shorter than I would have liked. However I think the content MORE than makes up for the length. **

It was weird.

Weird having another adult to share the house with, even if she doesn't speak.

Weird to have someone always there listening that wasn't less than 4 feet tall.

She had to smile to herself though, it might have been weird, but it was sure nice as well. It was especially nice seeing the Alpha care for the young rabbit that she had found. It was doing well, the sutures were healing nicely and the Alpha was very diligent on feeding and cleaning up after it. To see her coming more and more out of the cocoon of fear that had radiated from her every pore when she had arrived was a joy to Maura's soul.

It was nice.

Her day dreams were interrupted by a commotion outside. She saw a couple ranch hands racing past the window above the sink and immediately stood up from her place at the table.

"Oh no! What could have happened?" She started walking towards the kitchen door when she heard the shrill scream of a horse and the shouts of the men.

She started running.

She came upon total madness, and in the center of it all was the Alpha, in a corral pen with the most dangerous horse on the property. A diamond in the rough Appaloosa that was a rescue horse at the ranch for rehab, if at all possible. She was mean, her past made her aggressive not submissive. Not a single ranch hand could get close to her; a few had already been injured when just trying to get her into the corral.

Korsak was in with the horse and the Alpha, staying well away from the Appaloosa and the Alpha by default.

What was going on!?

* * *

><p><em> She couldn't stay away. The horses were saving her as much as the woman seemed to be, though she still had her reservations about what the woman wanted from her. For now though she was content to spend her days outside wandering the property. Or in the case of the last few days help clean some of the stables.<em>

_ She had been immediately suspicious and guarded when a man, someone she did not know, handed her a rake and shovel and started showing her how to help. Once she got going she did not want to stop. She liked the smell of the horses and their noises and everyone else left her alone when she was working. It was nice being able to do something that she wanted to do and was not forced to. _

_ Having this choice was new to her but for now she would use it to her hearts content. Who knew when the rules would change? Who knew when she would used for a purpose not of her own desires?_

_ She was especially happy today. The little boy was with her today, cleaning right alongside her. She wasn't scared of him, she liked him immensely and he talked non-stop about everything. He was always asking her questions and immediately following them with his own answers. She didn't quite understand him sometimes but he was relaxing to her for he reminded her of the woman. _

_ Like now for instance._

_ "Did you know that copper, which is a brown metal, can turn green? Like the empire state building? Have you seen the empire state building? I haven't, but mom said when I turn 10 I can go to New York with her and she would show me. Copper turns green because of ox…oxida..." He stopped speaking for a moment. "Oxidation! Copper turns green from oxidation and that is when electrons are lost on interacting with other stuff. So Copper reacts with the air which has oxy…oxygen in it. Did you know we breathe in oxygen? So when copper is out in the air it turns green."_

_ He does that a lot. He just runs through information not like anyone she knows. Well not anyone. Only one person really. She smiled to herself as she continued to listen to his chatter._

_ Eventually they finished and he raced ahead to go into the house. There was still light outside so she wanted to stay until it was gone. She had missed a lot of the sunlight over the last few years and she wanted to make up for it now. She couldn't get enough. _

_ She heard the whinny from a couple buildings away. She never ventured over into that area. The man with the whip worked over there a lot and she was scared of him. But the whinny pulled at her, she felt it in her chest. Going against all her instincts to run she cautiously walked in the direction of where the distressed noise was coming from. _

_ She peeked her heard around the building corner and saw the Whip Man walk away from the corral that was holding a horse, the horse was in distress making all kinds of noise. She could immediately see it was thin, very thin and had spots on it back end. Checking the direction the man went she stepped closed to the rails of the corral and looked at the horse with wide eyes. _

_ There were scars on its flesh, none that looked recent but she knew a whip scar when she saw one. Did the Whip Man do that? No, he couldn't have, they were far too old. She couldn't see clear enough since the horse was standing on the far side of the corral, away from the door._

_ She wanted to make sure it was ok. She stepped over the rails slowly; looking around to make sure no one was around to see her. When she was in the corral she didn't move forward. She looked down, away from the horses eyes and waited for the animal to make the first move. _

_ When the horse stopped making its angry noises she took a step closer, and then stopped when the horse tossed its head and laid its ears back. She might not be an animal but she would know those signals anywhere. Eventually she was able to take another step forward, this time the horse only laid its ears back. She waited again. _

_ Soon enough she was in front of the animal, slightly to the side so it could see her. Remembering the way the woman had held her hands out, palm up on the table for her to put her scarred on in she proceeded to do the same for the horse. Palms up she held both hand out flat and together. _

_ She waited._

_ She felt the horse's breath on her fingers, and then she felt the tickle on her palm of its whiskers. When it fully touched her with its nose, she slowly moved one hand up to stroke the neck softly. Slowly the horse calmed fully and lowered its head, eyes starting to droop, back leg relaxing off the ground. _

_ The moment was shattered though when the man came running up to the corral fence. He had the whip in his hand; he always had the whip on him. The horses work immediately from its doze and started screaming challenge while she was there beside it._

_ The man was yelling again. He was very angry, but she wasn't sure what he wanted. She was confused now, and she started to panic slightly. The man was more frightening to her than the half crazed horse she was standing near._

_She saw him open the gate and quickly step inside. He wasn't yelling anymore, but she could tell from his tone that he was very angry. He was gesturing wildly but she didn't know what he wanted. She looked to the horse and back to him. When he took a step closer the large animal beside continued its scream and started towards the man._

_ He raised his whip. _

_ No! She wouldn't let him hurt the horse._

_ He raised it further, getting ready to strike it. _

_ No! No! ….._

* * *

><p>"NO!"<p>

It was yelled with such force of will that everyone stopped moving, they even stopped breathing. Maura looked on in stunned silence as the Alpha quickly stood in between the enraged mare and Korsak. She couldn't believe it. She had spoken, finally spoken. And of all things she shouted 'no' and seemed to be defending the mare from Korsak. But why would she need to defend the mare?

Then she really looked at Korsak and she saw the trigger. A whip. She knew he would _never_ hit the mare with it but the Alpha didn't know that. Considering how aggressive the mare had been since she had arrived Maura was sure he just had it as a defense, and even if he used it he wouldn't strike the horse with it. Just snap it to make some noise, or bring it close to the animal to get it to back off. Maura herself hated the use of it especially with an animal that had already seen abuse, but with such an aggressive animal, which had injured people already, they needed some kind of defense if there was trouble.

This had to stop now. She had to stop this from going any further. She wanted neither the Alpha nor the mare stressed any more than they already were.

"Hey!" she tried to yell, but everyone ignored her. They were going on about the scene ahead of them and Korsak looked mad enough to spit.

"Enough!," she bellowed, so everyone could hear her.

She accomplished two things with her change in tone. Firstly, everyone finally quieted down and turned to look at her. And second, and most depressing, the Alpha looked to her with genuine fear in her wide eyes. She hadn't seen that kind of fear since her first few days here. It broke her heart to see it now.

She would fix this. She had to.

* * *

><p><em>Oh god! She broke the number one rule. She made noise. More than that she actually spoke a word. It had been years but she actually forgot all her training the instant the horse was threatened. She had spoken! She was in a full panic now. She would be punished! She was always punished and it was always the worst. Oh god! How could she have forgotten? <em>

_The woman entered the corral and started towards the woman and horse. The horse at this point had had enough and went after the Whip Man again like an enraged bull. _

_The woman shouted a warning and the Whip Man scrambled over the rails as fast as his heavy set self could. The Whip Man passed her the whip through the rails. She had glued her eyes to the woman at her second shout. When she saw the whip change hands she knew what was coming._

_This was it._

_The kindness ended here and the pain would begin. _

_The woman was walking closer._

_She started shaking violently as she edged away from the horse._

_She could barely breathe._

_The woman was almost upon her._

_The whip. The whip. The whip._

_It was all she could think of._

_And then she could think of nothing when the darkness swallowed her whole._

* * *

><p>When Maura saw her crumple to the ground her heart flew to her throat.<p>

No!

It couldn't end like this.

Please let her be ok.

Who was she kidding? It wouldn't be okay for a while. Not after Korsak raised the whip in her direction. That was her breaking point. She will have regressed so much after this moment. This can't be happening.

Worry later. Help her now.

Maura got to work.

**Well? Tell me what you think! I had a flash of inspiration and I went with it.**


	12. Chapter 12

**My fingers hurt. Such a long chapter for you all. It took some thinking to get it started but once I did I couldn't stop. I hope you like it. All your reviews have kept me afloat, especially when the beginning of this chapter decided to be a pain. You all are awesome! **

Maura was worried. She should have woken up by now if it was a simple case of fainting. This looked more like her body was shutting down, protecting itself from perceived pain, physical and emotional. Maura didn't know what to do, she was a smart woman, but this woman in her lap was such an enigma, such a treasure she didn't know what she would do if she never woke up.

Maybe the Alpha had had enough.

Maybe her body and mind had had enough and decided together to end it, with no pain and no suffering.

Maura had to stifle tears that threatened to fall. She didn't succeed. They were falling now in continuous waves that had Maura shaking with guilt and emotional pain. She couldn't understand why she was crying this way. If Cameron was here she would have helped Maura understand her emotions, for she was the one who brought them out of her own lonely past.

She had been sitting on the Alpha's pad on the floor for a few hours now, and there was no change in her condition. She seemed to only be sleeping peacefully, but Maura worried about what might actually be going on in the Alpha's unconscious mind.

Like a ship cast adrift Maura was at a loss to how to remedy the situation. When the Alpha woke up, not if, how would she react? Would she cower in terror away from Maura, would she even be responsive at all? She didn't have the answers which was just as worrying as the situation.

Maura was lucky that Jonathan was at a sleepover party at one of his friends' houses. She didn't know what she would do if he were here as well. Eventually her tumbling thoughts slowed to whispers and eventually those whispers were silent as she slept, with the Alpha secured in her arms.

….

She jolted awake at the touch of sun to her face. She was disoriented and achy in places she didn't even know she had. She felt the pressure against her body and remembered that events of the day before with perfect clarity as she saw the angular face and mass of hair still resting in her lap.

The Alpha still hadn't woken yet.

Maura tilted her head back against the wall and closed her eyes at another fresh stab of pain hit her chest. She breathed shallowly to will the emotions away. When she opened them again she saw it was still early, too early to pick Jonathan up from his sleepover, but apparently too late for the Alpha. She was always too late it seemed.

She dozed on the floor, still holding onto the Alpha and refusing to leave until she received some kind of sign.

Not ten minutes later she had it.

The body in her arms stiffened considerably and its breathing changed as well.

Maura looked down to see eyes tightly closed, creating creases on the forehead of the Alpha. Eventually those eyes opened and glanced up towards Maura's own.

Maura held her breath, and it seemed the Alpha was doing the same. Realizing she had to be the one to make the first move Maura moved one of her arms from around the Alpha's body and brought it back closer to her front. The Alpha noticed the movement and started trembling with enough force to shake apart the house. Her eyes left Maura's and they closed tightly again.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Maura took her fingers and gently ran them over the creases made by tightened eyes on the Alpha's forehead. She rubbed them gently until they smoothed and the trembling form trembled a little less. She continued to gently caress the face in her lap until the trembling ceased, but eyes still closed. Maura continued on for many minutes until brown eyes fluttered open and looked into her hazel ones.

Maura smiled and was surprised to see a slight flush appear on the Alpha's cheeks. She started humming a tune and this time when the brown eyes closed, they closed in sleep, in relaxed contentment. When Maura knew the Alpha was sleeping deeply she shifted slightly and laid the Alpha fully on her sleeping pad and covered her with the blanket. She got up and walked to the doorway of the attic room looking back to the slumbering figure. She made a decision. One that could make everything worse but if she was lucky it would make things better. She turned away with her mind made up and a plan of action.

When she reached downstairs her first stop was to call Mrs. Clark, the mother in charge of last night's sleep-over.

The phone was answered with a chipper voice, "Hello?"

"Hello Mrs. Clark, this is Maura Isles, Jonathan's mother?

"Oh! Hello Maura. How many times have I asked you to call me Shelly? I know I don't see much of you but our boys are such good friends you don't have to be so formal with me."

"Uh yes," Maura cleared her throat, "yes Shelly I shall endeavor to try in the future."

"Good. Good. What can I do for you Maura? The boys are still sleeping, they had a late night movie fest but if you need to speak to Jonathan I can wake him up."

"No. Don't wake him up. I was actually calling to ask if it would be an inconvenience if he stayed the night again tonight. Some things happened here on the Ranch yesterday and I am still trying to sort it all out and I would feel better if he was staying with you than here in the mess we have." Maura worried her lower lip with her teeth. She hated sounding so awkward, but she was never very good in social functions and she hated having to ask for help.

Mrs. Cl- Shelly's voice on the other end of the line answered very quickly with enthusiasm. "That's fine Maura; we would have to have him here for another night. I know Matthew will be pleased. He's such a good boy it will be no trouble. I hope it was nothing too serious that happened?"

"Nothing too serious," Maura was getting blotchy. It was a serious thing that had happened but she could let others know about it. "It should be resolved quickly but it will be easier without Jonathan underfoot. He is just so inquisitive I worry."

"I completely understand Maura, like I said it's no trouble. Would you like me to have him call you sometime today?"

"Yes, anytime is good, if you can get him to settle for a few moments to call. I will pick him up tomorrow late morning sometime if that is okay?" Maura was twisting her ring now, in nervousness.

"Okay, that sounds good to me. We will all be fine here for another night. Have a good day Maura and I will make sure he calls later."

Maura let out a breath she had been holding. "Okay. Thanks so much. Bye." She hung up and had to take a few deep breaths, reminding herself that she didn't technically lie just evaded the truth a bit.

Glancing at the clock her eyes widened in shock at the time. She had a quite a few things to do and get ready; she had better get a move on. As she went about her tasks she felt the day was looking brighter. She hoped it would end as well as it looked right now.

* * *

><p><em>She had woken quickly, but knew how to control her breathing to seem asleep. It was a tactic she had used frequently to have at least a few more minutes at peace before pain. She knew when she woke this time there would be no soft touches or sweet words. <em>

_ She had spoken. She had broken the number one rule of her training. She wasn't sorry._

_ She was scared of the pain to come yes, but she knew she had spoken for a just cause. She would never have forgiven herself for allowing the horse to be whipped by that man. And it seemed the only way to get anyone's attention was to speak. Only one word. But it was enough to stop everyone and everything in their tracks. She accomplished her goal._

_ Now for pain._

_ When she was ready to face it she opened her eyes to see she was alone this time. She remembered waking up in the woman's arms, and she remembered the soft caresses and gentle humming that had put her to sleep. She warily looked around the room and saw no one. When she got up she saw she was in the same clothes as yesterday, and wrinkled her nose in distaste. After having access to a shower every day for the past few months she knew she could never stand to be that dirty again. _

_ In the bathroom with her clothes removed she looked at herself in the mirror. She was different, the same, but different. She had put on weight and looked less yellow in color. Her hair wasn't stringy but still a mass of untamed curls that frustrated her to no end. She didn't look happy, she doubted she could ever look happy again but she looked content for the moment. She turned to the shower to wash away the memories of the day before. They wouldn't be gone for good, but she could rid herself of the rough edges of them just like she could rid herself of the visible dirt on her skin. _

_ After showering she quietly went down the stairs and stood in the doorway to the kitchen. The woman was at the sink washing her hands and there was stuff all over the counters. When she turned around they looked at each other for a few moments not speaking. She broke eye contact first looking at the ground._

_ It didn't take long for soft fingers to pull her chin up and she looked in hazel eyes that crinkled in unexpected mirth. The woman turned away and retrieved a basket from the kitchen table and began placing all the items inside. Once done with the basket the woman brought her shoes to her, and expectantly held them out. She took them slowly and tugged them on her feet. _

_ She was confused, and worried, yet she still wanted to see where this would lead._

_ The woman reached for her hand and she tugged it away before it could be clasped in a soft one. She saw disappointment in the eyes that were looking at her from below her own. She felt bad. Quickly she made the decision to put her own hand out and it was immediately taken by a smaller softer one. She was led out of the house with fast steps towards a vehicle, the woman carrying the basket in her other hand. Once it was in the back seat she was led to the passenger side door and with a glance to the person beside her she climbed in. She jumped when the door was closed, but relaxed slightly as the woman got into the driver's seat._

_ "Seat belt." _

_ It was the only thing spoken to each other so far all day but she did as was asked. When they pulled out from the front of the house and on the long drive to the main road she wondered what was going on now. She felt lost, but not alone._

* * *

><p>Maura was giddy with excitement. It had been awhile since she had just done something so spontaneously and even longer since she had done it with another person. The Alpha might not have been the best conversationalist but Maura had hope that this outing would do them both some good. She had packed a picnic basket and planned to drive them to the park that was 20 miles away, situated right in the center of the town that they called home when not on the ranch. After eating she had hoped she could get the Alpha to walk around with her, and maybe accompany her into some shops. She reverently hoped this was a good plan.<p>

She glanced towards her passenger and smiled as the Alpha seemed to be glued to the window beside her. Her eyes were large and round as they passed field after field of crops, cows, horses and the occasional stand of trees. The 20 mile drive seemed to go much faster than normal. It must have been all the excitement.

When she pulled into the parking space next to the park she turned to the Alpha when the car was off. She met brown eyes that were alive and curious but still reserved and unsure. It was a look that Maura was fast becoming used to.

"Come on. It a very nice day and I packed us a picnic." By the end of the sentence the Alpha had looked back out the window.

Maura got out, grabbed the basket from the back seat and then opened the passenger door. She took a step back to allow the Alpha a chance to get out of the car without feeling crowded. She looked at the slightly tanned skin with the raised scar in wonder as it reached out for her own hand. She grabbed it firmly and once assured the car was locked took off towards her favorite tree in the small park, the Alpha being towed behind her.

When they got to the tall willow tree she tried to let go of the hand she had a hold of but the Alpha wouldn't let her. She clutched to her like it was the only lifeline keeping her safe in this wide world that she had little knowledge of. She smiled sadly at the thought.

"It's ok. I just want to get the blanket out so we can sit down."

The Alpha looked at her and slowly released her hand.

Maura quickly took the blanket out of the basket and spread it out. She toed her shoes off and took a couple steps to the blankets middle. She looked back at the Alpha and saw she already had her own shoes off and was moving fast to her side. She seemed to be worried, of what Maura wasn't sure. She sat down and the Alpha almost sat in her lap she was so close to her. Maura didn't mind, she liked the feeling of having this woman so close.

It didn't take long for the basket to be completely unpacked and the Alpha, never one to turn down food no matter the situation, was munching readily on her lunch. All the while she was keeping a close watch on her surroundings and seemed unable to relax.

This made Maura slightly disheartened about her plan. If the Alpha could not relax this would never work. When Maura started humming the Alpha took her eyes off her surroundings and focused them to Maura. She had inhaled her food and was just sitting now, listening. When it seemed like the Alpha was about to fall asleep sitting up Maura gently pulled her down so her head was in Maura's own lap. Like before, she gently ran her fingers over the Alpha's face and through her hair, calming her down. Soon she was asleep.

Maura just sat and watched her, watched the people passing and listened to the birds singing and dogs barking. She lost herself in her own world until she felt fingers tracing patterns on her shin. It had been a short nap for the Alpha, but Maura was just glad she seemed more relaxed that when they had arrived.

"Come on. Let's pack the basket up and walk around a bit. My legs are starting to cramp." The Alpha immediately sat up and began gathering their plates and utensils and put them back in the basket. Maura was putting her shoes on and had to grin at the way their routine seemed to have formed. Maura made the food, and the Alpha cleaned it up. It was one of the few normal things that occurred in both their lives and Maura relished in the feeling.

Once the Alpha was up off the blanket with her own shoes on her own feet Maura grabbed the blanket, shook it out, and folded it. The Alpha already had a hand on the basket so she kept hold of the blanket and started towards the car. She felt the Alpha behind her trot to catch up.

With the basket back in the car Maura gently took the Alpha's hand started walking her towards the shops. As they got closer the Alpha almost balked as the number of people walking around. Maura reassured her with calm words and small squeezes though her hand. Eventually they were on the sidewalk, strolling along, almost like any normal couple.

Maura noticed the stares immediately. As much as she hoped the stares were for the fact they were two women holding hands she knew without a doubt the stares were on Jane and her collar. And on occasion a few passersby noticed the Alpha tattoo and immediately took off for the other side of the street. She tried not to let it bother her though. Every step seemed to calm the Alpha further and her face looked through every shop window with the wonderment of a child.

When they came upon the book store Maura was stopped by a stationary Alpha who was staring at the books in the window. "Let's go in". The Alpha just looked at her. "It's ok. Come on." She tugged gently and pulled the taller woman into the shop with her.

The bell on the door chimed with their entry and spooked the Alpha with its noise. The event was soon forgotten when she lit her eyes upon shelf after shelf, row after row of books.

"You can go look. I'll be here looking myself," she told the Alpha.

They both wandered the store for a couple hours, the Alpha more than Maura who was just content to watch her. Every time she saw the Alpha alight upon a book she memorized the title and author for future visits.

"Pick five of them."

The Alpha looked to her aghast at her statement.

"I know how much you like to read, and I am sure you have finished all the ones in your room. Go ahead. Pick five and we'll take them home."

When the Alpha immediately grabbed the book she had just put down Maura chuckled. The Alpha looked to her and back down to the book.

Maura nodded, "Go on. I know there are plenty in here that you want to choose from."

It didn't take her long to have five books in hand. Every time she had picked on up to add to her stack she looked to Maura, seeking permission and reassurance. Maura waited patiently and when she had all five in her arms Maura led them to the front desk.

The man behind the counter paled slightly when he saw the collar around the raven haired woman's throat.

Maura spoke to him curtly, "We'll take these five please." She coaxed the Alpha to set them on the counter for a few moments so they could be rung up.

"Y- Yes ma'am. I'll get those rung up for you."

Maura smiled at him unapologetic at all with her tone.

"Thank you."

When she turned back to the Alpha she saw her a few feet away looking at a turning display full of colorful bookmarks. When she walked closer she noticed names on them. As the Alpha turned the display she stopped at the J's. Maura looked at her face and saw a tear.

A moment later the Alpha reached for a particular bookmark.

For a particular name.

It was then that Maura understood. The bookmark held the Alpha's name.

The Alpha's hands shook as she held the bookmark and looked to Maura. After looking back at the tear filled eyes she read the four single letters on the bookmark. Four single letters that made up one name.

Jane.


	13. Chapter 13

**Aren't you happy to see this update? I am sorry I missed last week but like many of us my life got in the way, not to mention I had some writers block with this one. All mistakes are mine. It's shorter than I wanted, and more of a filler than anything for the next couple chapters. *Insert evil laugh here* **

Maura was worried.

Jane had made such excellent progress in the last few weeks since revealing her name but things had to change. She couldn't keep her collared indefinitely. Helping the Alpha meant helping all of her, especially her uncollared violent self.

Maura was worried.

She liked the routine they had established with each other. It was comfortable and safe. Jane made progress every single day and Maura knew she would always be making progress. There was only so long she could put off the inevitable, only so long that the peace would last.

Maura was very worried.

She was sitting at the kitchen table, like every morning, waiting on Jane to come downstairs. When she did it was a blur of long limbs and wild hair. Only this morning she went straight to the door to outside. She made a beeline for it.

"Jane"

The Alpha stopped with her hand on the door, and for a second Maura saw her tense, but then she relaxed and turned to face the kitchen table.

Maura smiled at her. "I know your excited Jane, you've been doing wonderfully helping with the Appaloosa, but you shouldn't miss breakfast. Studies have shown it is the most important meal of the day. Especially if one wants to lose weight, not that you need to. It also provides glucose to your brain making you more efficient and alert which you will need today if you really want to help."

Jane just looked at her for a moment. Then with two quick steps she reached for an apple and a banana on the kitchen table and turned back around to head out the door.

"Jane." Maura could swear she heard Jane sigh after this second call of her name. Her lips quirked. "That apple better be for you and not for the horse. She's going to get fat if you keep stuffing her with apples."

Jane turned to look at her and gave her a smile of her own before she left for good through the kitchen door.

Maura sighed to herself. She was worried. They needed to take the next step. It was time.

* * *

><p><em> Jane knew something was different. Maybe she couldn't see it, or touch it, but she knew nonetheless that something was different. The woman, Maura, she was acting different. To most people they would not notice a change in the woman's behavior, but Jane knew it was there. There was something going on underneath Maura's face, something that worried her. She didn't know what to do in response to this change so she tried to keep going. She tried to not let it bother her.<em>

_ She was worried. _

_ Maura was still happy; she still smiled at Jane and encouraged her. She left her to her own devices and never hovered or reprimanded her. She never hurt her. In the weeks after she had revealed her name, she could see the slight bit of sadness in the shorter woman's face. The worry that clouded her eyes. _

_ She was very worried._

_ She didn't want to be sent away, but maybe that was what was going on. Maybe the woman had tired of her company and was finally ready to sell her. She was sad too. She didn't want to leave, she liked it here. She liked her. She really liked her. All good things come to an end. She knew that, she had always known that but she had let herself hope that this time would be different. _

_ She was an idiot. She should have known better. She was still alone._

_ Alone._

* * *

><p>Maura quickly realized that Jane knew something was different, that something was going on underneath the surface of the calm waters they had created. She wasn't used to this part. Whenever it came to uncollaring it was always Cameron that handled it. She had been bigger than Maura, more capable to deal with a violent Raven, so she had always handled it. But now Maura was alone, and she had to do it herself. She had to uncollar not just any Raven either, it was Jane.<p>

Jane whom she had become quite attached to in the months she had been at the ranch. The quiet Jane anyway. Maura did not even know if she would like the real Jane, the one underneath the surface of the ring around her neck. God, she had no idea how to go about this. How does one release a Raven without getting oneself killed? This was one of those few instances where she had no idea the answer to her question.

She hoped that the first incident she had witnessed with Jane and no collar would be recurring. She hoped that Jane would be more curious than violent, and remember the kindness she had been shown in the last few months. She hated guessing, but she just had no idea what to expect. She was on uneven ground and knew that one wrong step would plunge her into a chasm she would never be released from. And if that happened Jonathan would be alone.

Putting it off another week or three wouldn't make the slightest difference. She needed to do it before she really lost her nerve.

She needed to call Korsak and tell him to give the ranch hands a few hours off in the early morning. She needed the ranch to contain only Jane and her when she did this. The men could come back later in the day to clean the stalls. And she needed to warn Korsak about what she was going to do, in case something went wrong. She dreaded that conversation.

They were supposed to have a hay delivery the next day as well. She needed to delay that by a day or two. They had enough to get by.

And lastly she needed to see if Jonathan could spend the night at a friend's house. She didn't want him there for this. She knew he be too excited to spent the night with a friend on a school night to notice if something was wrong.

She would do it tonight.

She grabbed her phone from her dresser and dialed the first number.

...

After dinner, when all the dishes had been washed, dried and put away. When only the sound of the insects buzzing outside could be heard Maura readied herself for what was ahead of her. Jane had gone upstairs after she had finished the dishes, like she did every night as part of her routine. Tonight would be different though.

Maura went upstairs to the attic slowly, her feet felt laden with horseshoes as she ascended. She had to take deep breaths with every step she took. Before she knew it she was standing in the doorway to Jane's room. She looked at her with gentle eyes and marveled at the changes that had occurred. She still liked to sleep on the mat on the floor, but she wasn't jumpy, she was relaxed as she read the book in her hands. Maura recognized the cover and took it to be Jane's favorite; she had already read it a few times.

When she knocked on the wall next to the door Jane's eyes jumped to hers, and she smiled.

Oh that smile. It would be the death of Maura, she was sure of it. She smiled in return as she made her way to woman seated on the floor. When she was standing above Jane she was glad to see curiosity in her eyes and not fear. Maura reached a hand out and without hesitation Jane took it. She pulled the taller woman to her feet and slowly led her out of the bedroom and down the hall to the padded room.

Jane hadn't been in there since her first day here. When Maura opened the door the curiosity in Jane's eyes was quickly replaced by fear. Maura hated to see it, but she had agonized over this decision to tell Jane or not that she was going to uncollar her. She had felt this would be the best course of action but maybe she was wrong. She hated to be wrong.

She pulled the reluctant Jane into the room with her and left her standing in the middle of it as she turned around and closed the door, locking it with them inside. She put the key in her back pocket and when she turned around Jane was trembling.

Maura's heart was breaking. She knew it was for the best but she hated herself in that moment.

She took three steps and was directly in front of Jane looking into her eyes. Those gorgeous brown eyes for the first time in a month immediately went to the floor in submission.

Maura reached into her front pocket and pulled out the key to the collar. She slowly reached her arms up and laid her hands on Jane's upper chest beneath her neck. Still moving slowly she reached to the collar with the key and quickly unlocked it. The snap of the lock turning made both of them jump.

Before unclasping it Maura tilted Jane's chin up so she could look into her eyes again. Just one more time before they potentially changed forever. With a large breath she reached her other hand to the clasp on the collar, while still holding Jane's chin with her other hand. Jane's eyes were sweeping back and forth to her own.

With a simple movement of the fingers the clasp was undone, and the collar hit the floor.

It was Jane's eye though that Maura was watching.

Those eyes that as soon as the collar came off dilated and then contracted to pinpoints.

Those eyes that went from gentle to hard in seconds.

And then those long fingered hands were around her neck for the second time.

And then they squeezed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Are you excited? I know you have been anxiously awaiting this chapter. Your reviews said as much. *Giggle***

**Go! You know you can't wait a second longer.**

Jane's hands were around her throat, and like before like before they squeezed in warning before lightly holding Maura's neck. Maura held still. Slowly Jane directed Maura towards the wall, and when Maura was pressed flush against it she went almost limp in Jane's grasp. She didn't let her legs buckle, but she relaxed all her muscles and made no threats to the woman in front of her. The Alpha.

Maura was examined by dark eyes, from head to toe. One of the hands around her throat pulled away and gently took hold of a piece of Maura's hair, twisting it and feeling its texture. Then that same hand stroked her check, feeling how soft the skin was.

Maura felt like a piece of meat. Jane without a collar was a top predator, and right now Maura seemed to be the prey. She trembled slightly, against her will.

Jane took a step closer and more closely invaded Maura's personal space. They looked at each other eye to eye, and though Maura knew she should have probably looked away, she couldn't bring herself to do it, so she stared right back.

There was a twitch to Jane's mouth.

Soon the hand on her face reached around Maura to her back, and slowly slid down to the back pocket of her jeans. As the hand went into the pocket to pull out the key Maura had stashed there Jane leaned closer.

"Maura". It was said slowly, softly, almost with reverence.

Maura's eyes went wide, she must have looked stupid, but she didn't care. She had said her name. Jane had said her name!

Jane just kept looking at her, her eyes ghosting back and forth all over Maura's face. Slowly the other hand around Maura's neck released. She didn't move she stayed as flush to wall as she could.

Jane backed away and turned to the door, unlocking it quickly. When it was opened Jane looked back to Maura, whose eyes were closed and her breaths deep. Maura couldn't believe what had just happened.

When she opened her eyes again she saw Jane walk through the door. She saw Jane leave.

Maura slumped to floor.

* * *

><p>"Maura!? Maura!?"<p>

She heard him from downstairs. Yelling for her, worried for her. She didn't move or call out though. She couldn't believe what had just happened a few hours ago. She hadn't moved since Jane had left. She had spent all night and most of the day sitting on the padded floor is disbelief. Jane was gone. Probably gone for good and for some reason a hole opened up in her heart, one she wasn't sure she could fix even if she wanted to. It felt almost as bad as when Cameron had died. She was alone again. She hated being alone.

"MAURA!?"

He was getting frantic now that she hadn't responded to his call. He probably thought she was hurt, or dead. She felt dead.

She saw him run past the open door of the padded room she was sitting in. A few second later he had backtracked and was beside her. He was checking her over visually for injury while he tried to get his thoughts in order.

"God Maura I thought she had killed you. You weren't answering your phone and didn't you hear me calling for you?" He grabbed her arm and helped her back to her feet. "Where is she Maura? Where did Jane go? I can't find her in the house"

With a heavy heart Maura had to tell him. "She's gone. She's gone Korsak."

He just looked at her, disbelief in his eyes. "What do you mean gone?"

"Exactly what I just said," she looked to the floor. "I uncollared her; she had me by the throat. She uh- she spoke again." She was twisting her ring now. "And then she left. She's probably long gone by now. We won't be seeing her again I should think."

Korsak looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his head. "We have to find her Maura. We can't let an uncollared Alpha out on the loose. She could kill someone! She _will_ kill someone!"

"She won't. I know her; she won't hurt anyone unless they hurt her first."

"Dammit Maura. You don't know her at all. The woman you came to know was a submissive, controllable individual. The woman who left this room today was not the woman you came to know over the last few months. She'll hurt someone."

"No Vince. She won't. I don't know how I know it but I do. She won't." Maura started towards the doorway. "If you'll excuse me I have to go pick Jonathan up from school." She brushed passed him and made her way down the stairs.

"You got attached didn't you?" His tone was accusing. "Cameron always warned you to never get attached and here you are doing exactly what she warned you to never do."

Facing away from him Maura responded with ice in her voice. "In case you haven't noticed Vince, Cameron is gone. She fucking gone! I'm lonely; of course I was going to get attached. Do you think I wanted to? Do you think I wasn't trying to fight it? For a genius I really am stupid." She spit the words out with venom. "Make no mistake, I won't let it happened again. I'll suffer in my own silence and raise Jonathan and work the ranch. That's it. Now get out!"

She quickly finished going down the stairs and went outside to her car, letting the door slam behind her. Her forehead hit the steering wheel. What was she going to tell Jonathan? He got just as attached as she did. She wanted to cry.

…

"Jane! Jane! Look what I made at school today! Jane!"

Maura wanted to cry again. It had become the norm for Jonathan to show Jane what he had done at school as soon as he got home. Now Jane wasn't here, and she didn't know how Jonathan would react. She knew he vaguely remembered Cameron, and at times seemed to miss her. But this was going to be different. He was old enough to form long term memories and she had absolutely no idea what was going to happen when she had to tell him Jane was gone.

"Jane?" He sounded frantic now. He was running all through the house and when he couldn't find her he waited at the bottom of the attic stairs looking up. "Jane!?"

"Jonathan honey, come here." Maura settle into one of the kitchen chairs with a heavy heart.

Jonathan glanced at her and then his gaze went back to the attic stairs.

"Where's Jane mommy? Is she with the horses?"

"No baby, she isn't. Come here for me."

With uncertain steps he walked towards his mother, when he stood in front of her he didn't react as she lifted him onto her lap. He leaned into her, his head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Jonathan but Jane is gone."

He pulled away from Maura so fast that she almost didn't catch him before he fell off her lap. "Gone?"

"Yes, she's gone. She left last night. She doesn't live with us anymore sweetheart."

His eyes got big, and she saw them glimmer as the tears started. "NO!" He started fighting the grip that Maura had on him.

"Yes Than, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I know you liked her, I did too, but she's gone. She's not coming back."

"No! No! She's coming back! She wouldn't leave…she wouldn't." He started banging on Maura's chest with his small fists. He was crying in earnest now. Crying so hard he was having trouble breathing.

"Than. Than! You have to calm down sweetheart. Please, you need to calm down."

"Want Jane! I want Jane!" He's turned wild. This was worse than Maura had expected. She was worried now. He had formed a much stronger attachment to Jane than she had realized. She didn't know what to do, emotions were never her forte.

"Please Jonathan. Calm down. Please." He violently pulled away from her, and she did lose her grip this time. He fell to the floor and after a stunned moment of silence on both their parts he scrambled up off the floor and ran outside before Maura could reach for him.

She wanted to go after him. But she knew if he was anything like Cameron that he needed to be alone with his emotions. He needed to burn off his anxiety. He would be back.

He would. Maura was sick of crying.

…

It had taken a few hours, but eventually Jonathan came back. He was despondent, barely eating any dinner, refusing to look or talk to Maura. When he was done he silently got up and went to his room. Maura heard his door close and closed her own eyes in relief that he was home but sadness that he was hurting so much.

Maura couldn't finish her own dinner; the day's events had of course taken their toll. She cleaned up; grief stealing her thoughts as she remembered this was Jane's job that she had designated herself. When the kitchen was clean she went to her study to try and work on some paperwork for the ranch.

A couple hours later she came back to herself and realized she had gotten nothing done and in fact had just sat at her desk doing nothing, looking at nothing. She looked at the clock and saw it was past ten in the evening. She felt like her soul had split again. Once when Cameron had died was enough, at least she had had some time to get ready for the grief with her passing. She had been sick for a while.

But this.

This was different, it was so sudden and Maura was having trouble handling it. She made her way out of the study and around the house to turn off the lights and check the locks. In her room she collapsed on her side of the bed, wishing she didn't feel so alone. She fell asleep in her clothes, with a heavy heart and a heavy mind.

A few hours later she jolted awake. He dream had been vague, and she really couldn't remember much of it. She felt sick. Not a sickness of the body, but one of the mind and soul. She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. She made a quick decision and stood up, wobbling slightly. Once she steadied she went to Jonathan's room to check on him. He was sleeping at least, but she could see the tear stains on his face. Then she went to the kitchen, to tallest cabinet over the stove and pulled down the bottle of Whiskey that Cameron and she used to share after a hard day. She grabbed a shot glass as well and put them at the kitchen table where she took a seat.

She poured herself a shot and quickly threw it back. It burned. It always burned but at least she felt something as it went down. She poured another and immediately swallowed that one as well. She poured a third and just looked at it. Trying to decide if she really wanted to drink it or not. It would be wasteful to not drink it since it was poured.

As she went to reach for it, a long fingered hand grabbed it first. Maura watched as the figure threw back the shot and sat stunned at the glass was gently put back on the table. The kitchen was illuminated by the spotlight outside the house and it took Maura's fuzzy mind to realize who was standing in her kitchen, staring at her. She quickly looked to the kitchen door and saw that is had been opened, the hidden key still dangling from the lock.

She looked back at the figure, her eyes passing and sticking to the Alpha tattoo on the person's, no the woman's face.

Jane.

It was Jane and she had come back. She was standing in her kitchen with no collar, and not an ounce of aggression emanating from her. Maura's eyes went to the brown ones above her. She was in some state of shock. Jane took a step closer, grabbed the whiskey bottle and the shot glass, making sure to wash it, and put them back in the cabinet.

When Jane turned around Maura was still watching her. She watched her walk to the attic stairs and after a brief pause disappeared up the stairs.

Maura smiled. No more crying.

**Well? How was that? I think this is one of my favorite chapters. Anyway I hope you enjoyed it. I will warn you now it might be a couple weeks before I update again. I need to do some more story planning before we hit the next leg of this journey. Fare thee well until next time.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Looks whose back! Some interesting things are coming up in the next chapter. Prepare yourselves. I am so excited! All mistakes are mine. And I don't own them. Read on….**

Maura had no idea what was in store for the coming weeks. Since Jane's return the night before, uncollared, she was worried what might happen. She was happy yes, but everything was now much more complicated. Jane without a collar could easily kill someone if she felt like it. Maura still wasn't sure why Jonathan and she had been spared from death by this woman's hands.

And where had Jane gone for an entire 24 hours? Did she harm anyone? Kill anyone? When she had come back she had looked exactly like when she had left. Maura could remember not seeing any blood or other signs of fighting, but Jane was a Raven, that is what they were made to do, to fight and to kill. Not to motion she was the only Alpha in existence. Her kill drive should be much higher than other Ravens; Maura saw no sight of that the night before. One more thing, when did she ever get the chance to become familiar with alcohol? Maura had so many questions.

She was in her bedroom, putting her finishing touches on her outfit for the day. She was also stalling, not wanting to take that step into the unknown. It was so much easier when Jane was collared and Maura did not have to worry about the woman lashing out in anger or violence. Sighing at her failed attempt to gather her courage to go to the kitchen she took one last look in the mirror and headed out the doorway.

…..

Once downstairs she cautiously looked around for the presence of the taller woman. She saw none immediately. Hoping that Jane was still upstairs asleep after whatever she had done the day before Maura set about to make breakfast. Jonathan would be downstairs shortly; he was always up and about not long after he heard his mother leaving her bedroom. Though Maura worried that he would be still too upset after yesterday's events she hoped he would at least come out of his room for breakfast.

That was another thing. Jonathan. What was she going to do about him? He had grown attached to Jane, the quiet submissive Jane that would not have harmed a fly, but what about this new Jane? How will she react around Jonathan now?

Maura was mulling her thoughts over and over in her head when she heard a chair scrape across the floor. She stiffened when she heard the noise. It was Jane, she knew it was. Even though the Alpha had entered the kitchen silently she somehow knew it wasn't Jonathan. That begs the question though of why scrape the chair across the floor. Maura knew Jane was smarter than that. Trying to look on the bright side she wanted to believe wholeheartedly that Jane was just trying to announce her presence and trying not to scare her. Or maybe she was announcing her presence _to_ scare her.

Turning around slowly Maura saw Jane sitting in the backwards facing dining chair, arms across the chair's top. The alpha was just looking at her, and Maura couldn't help but to look right back.

* * *

><p><em> It felt good to have the collar off. She didn't want to ever put it back on. She really hoped the woman didn't try. She would fight her to keep it off if she had to. When she had been released this second time, with just her and the woman in the padded room her thoughts had bombarded her. Part of her wanted to kill, to feel the thrill and euphoria that always came with the act. Most of her though, didn't want to. It was a new feeling, but the woman had changed something in her. She remembered being taken care of; she remembered the feeling of being warm and full, of not hurting physically from one thing or another. She'd had to get away.<em>

_ When she came back the woman, Maura, her name was Maura, she was sitting in the kitchen, crying. She didn't understand why Maura was crying, what was there to cry about. She was still alive, she wasn't hurt. After taking the shot and returning up the stairs the thoughts left her mind until now. _

_ Now she was sitting in the kitchen chair, just staring at her. She was staring right back and she had to wonder if the woman was being brave in meeting her gaze or just curious. _

_ She was curious._

_ She still had no inkling as to why she had let this woman live. She had made the decision to wait, to watch, to observe. She had time. She was in control._

_ She could kill them later._

* * *

><p>While Maura was distracted by Jane watching her, she failed to notice Jonathan's arrival into the kitchen. He was sleep rumpled and still rubbing his eyes as he walked towards the kitchen table. His hair had no semblance of order and one of his socks was missing. His sleep state immediately evaporated when he took in the scene before him seeing Jane seated at the kitchen table.<p>

"Jane!"

Maura's head snapped to her son so fast it was a wonder she didn't get whiplash. No!

As Jonathan made a beeline straight for Jane, Maura was in the process of intercepting him in his path. He flew past her and she barely managed to grab a hold of his pajama top so she could get a better hold of him before he made it to the Alpha sitting at the dining table. And it was the Alpha, and not Jane.

At the boy's shout the Alpha changed from her slightly relaxed state that she as in while watching Maura, and immediately straightened in her chair all her sense on alert. She was ready to fight, she was hyper aware of her surroundings and what was going on around her. Her pupils narrowed into pin points and she became dominate immediately.

Maura felt it. She couldn't explain it but she could swear she could feel the power radiating off of Jane and she was thankful she got ahold of Jonathan in time before he went barreling to the Alpha's side.

"Momma! Let me go, it's Jane. I want to go to Jane." He was struggling in earnest. His feelings and hurt from the day before vanished in a puff of smoke when he saw Jane seated at the table. Maura knew he had to have been missing Jane, even for that short period and she was loathe to further upset her son but it was dangerous. _She_ was dangerous.

Keeping her eyes on Jane Maura tried to calm Jonathan down. "Settle down honey. I know its Jane, she came back last night." His struggles continued.

"Jonathan!" He stopped moving altogether at the tone of Maura's voice. "I know you want to go to her and talk to her. Jane's different honey, she might not want you near." He turned his head up and looked at her, confusion in his eyes. Maura had no idea how to explain this to him.

"It's just Jane Momma."

"No honey, it's not. She's different."

"I don't understand".

Maura smiled weakly at him and played with some of his hair. "I know you don't Than, and I wish I could explain it better for you." She glanced to Jane, who was still on alert though her posture and overbearing seemed to have simmered down some.

Maura had to make a choice. Refuse her son all contact with the woman he seemed to have started relying on as a pseudo parent. Or let him go to her and pray to all things she could think of that the Alpha in Jane would leave her son alone the same way she was left alone. She was at an impasse.

He was starting to get fidgety. She knew if she held her decision off for much longer he might break from her then the decision would be out of her hands anyway. She didn't want to refuse contact between the two. She wondered if maybe Jonathan would be good for Jane again, similar to when she was collared.

"Jonathan, if I let you go to Jane, you have to go slowly. Remember when she first got here and she was scared you would hurt her?" He nodded his head in understanding. "This is similar, but this time you have to go slow so she doesn't hurt you. She is different that she was a few days ago honey." Goodness she hoped she wasn't making a mistake.

She let him go.

He stood there a moment longer making sure to look at Maura once more before he walked over to Jane. Maura was so thankful he listened well, when it was warranted. When he stood next to Jane they just looked at each other. Maura could tell he wanted to hug her, she hoped he didn't give in to the need just yet. That would be too much.

His hand slowly reached out, he stopped when Jane shifted position. His hand continued along its path and it was too late for Maura to stop him by the time he had touched Jane's neck where the collar used to rest. He touched the slight scarring, making the Alpha jump and tense. Maura was terrified in that moment.

Jonathan stroked the skin on Jane's neck, and slowly the Alpha began to relax slightly. Eventually he stopped.

"I'm glad you came back Jane." He looked to Maura then back to Jane. "I missed you. Your home now."

It seemed once Jonathan had assured himself that she was really here, by touching her scarring no less, he went to his kitchen chair and sat for breakfast. He looked to Maura again. "Hungry momma."

She snapped out of her daze at his comment and went back to the stove to continue with breakfast. For now catastrophe was adverted. But who knew what the coming days would bring.

…

It was late afternoon when Maura finally worked up the courage to up to the attic. She kept telling herself it was to check on Jane. She knew her worries were unfounded, the woman practically exuded confidence and self-assurance. Maura could not help it though. Something just drew her to woman, something she couldn't explain.

When she got to the top of the stairs she almost turned around and went back the way she had come. Jonathan was currently outside cleaning the stall of his pony. Maura knew she had a small window to set her eyes on Jane before Jonathan came back and took her attention once more.

As she came up to the open doorway she didn't immediately see a human body in the room. Nor on the way here did she see anyone in the bathroom either. She knocked on the frame of the door, but here was no answer. Stepping inside she immediately noticed nothing had changed. The room was still clean; there were still a few books beside the matt on the floor. The bed had been made and straightened.

Walking into the room she was startled at the sudden movement in her periphery. Jane had come up on right side and was standing inches from Maura just looking at her again. It seemed to be all the woman wanted to do when Maura was near. It unnerved her, but she was slowly becoming used to the brown eyes staring at her, and her every movement.

"Y- You scared me Jane."

Jane's face was impassive.

Not wanting to stand idle Maura made her way over to the temporary cage that was holding the young rabbit that Jane had found. She immediately saw that, even after 2 days of being uncollared, Jane seemed to still be taking care of the small creature. There was fresh food and water and the bedding looked clean. There was a glimmer of hope for Maura as to Jane's future behavior. When Maura went to reach into the cage she saw Jane start towards her, threatening her.

"It's okay Jane. I won't hurt it I promise. I told you we would make it better." She carefully grabbed the rabbit and pulled it towards her with both hands, cradling it gently. She looked at the sutures. "I think we can take the sutures out now. The skin seems to have closed together nicely." She began walking towards the bathroom out in the hall.

Jane was following closely behind her. Once in the bathroom Maura grabbed a small pair of nail scissors and tweezers. She sat on the toilet with the rabbit in her lab and slowly removed the few stitches, all the while Jane watching her like hawk. Once the stitches were removed and she was sure the skin was sufficiently closed and healing she stood up to take the rabbit back to Jane's room. Before she even took a step the Alpha was in front of her, reaching for the rabbit herself and taking it from Maura's grasp.

Jane was out the door back to her room before Maura could finish a complete thought.

**I hope that was worth the wait. It kinda sets the stage I think. More to come next weekend.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I am so excited for the chapter after this one. Oh man oh man. I can't wait for you to read it. Anyway, all mistakes are mine, I do not own them. Enjoy.**

_The mare understood her. It was so much easier to spend all her time with the horse in front of her than to try and sort out all that had happened over the last few days. She saw the woman's fear frequently, but sometimes it was mixed with an emotion that she could not put a name to. Every so often she had felt the urge to destroy, but she was not tattooed an Alpha just for her fighting skills. She had unparalled control over herself and all her actions. _

_ She didn't understand it herself. She wanted to destroy but most of the time she wanted to learn, to observe. She wanted to live most of all and she realized that the death of others when not in the ring would quickly end her life before she had a chance to really start living it._

_ She was grateful for the blonde woman who had helped her. Suspicions still circulated around her brain though, there had to be a reason the woman would take her and then release her. There had to be a reason for her presence at this place. Figuring it out has been the problem. She just didn't know enough yet._

_ A loud yapping threw her out of her musing, and stroking of the horse beside her. Her head immediately went to the direction of the noise and before long and small, mostly white, shape came barreling around the corner to the one of the many buildings on the property. _

_ She startled momentarily, having no idea what the creature was for a short second. Eventually her brain caught up with her reaction training and she realized it was just a dog. A small scruffy dog that was barreling straight towards her. She sighed in acceptance of her apparent fate. _

_ Why was it that when she wanted peace and quiet she was always interrupted? Usually it was the woman, or the boy, this time it was a dog. And not just any dog apparently, but a loud excitable one. _

_ A loud snort to her left alerted her to the fact that the damaged horse she had been working with did not appreciate the interruption either. In fact, when she looked to the horse's eyes, she immediately saw the horse was beginning to spook and if she weren't careful would trample her and the dog too. _

_ Once the terror racing towards her got into the corral the horse spooked like she expected it too. It was only thanks to her training that she was able to avoid the flying hooves when the horse reared and screamed challenge to the little dog. _

_ Who just kept coming. _

_ She had to hand it to the little canine, it had guts. In fact it had guts that were about to become one with the dirt. Without thinking she quickly ran in front of the flying hooves as the horse continued to rear over and over and grabbed the small dog before either one of them could be hurt. Figuring it was time to give the horse some peace, even though her own had been shattered she quickly exited the coral and made her way towards the house, the little dog in her arms. _

_ The thing was a wiggly slobbery mess. She was having trouble hanging onto it when the whip man came into view. She remembered him. She had most of her memories from being collared and his stood out most of all. He was out of breath, huffing and puffing, trying to keep his overweight frame from toppling over. _

_ She just looked at him, narrowing her eyes at the whip that was still attached to his side. _

_ Once he noticed what she was carrying she could see his red face pale at the bundle she had in her arms._

_ He was blubbering now. She could not understand a word the man was trying to say, he was still so out of breath. She just stood there watching. Waiting._

_..._

Maura saw them immediately as she rounded the corner to the house. Jane was standing facing Korsak, with a wigging bundle in her arms. As she drew closer she could hear the man pleading with the Alpha, though his speech was hard to understand as he was breathing hard.

"P-please. Let- Let her go. G-give- give her to m-me." He held his arms out toward the bundle in Jane's arms.

Maura quickly realized it was a small dog, most likely one of the small ratter that Korsak frequently adopted from shelters to keep the rats and mice down on the property.

She looked to Jane and saw her grip on the dog tighten. She didn't move.

"Korsak?"

"Maura?" he looked glad she was here. "Please. Please make the Alpha let her go. I didn't mean to let her out. I just got her the other day." His gaze went back to the dog in the Alpha's arms.

"Korsak. She won't hurt the dog. I would think by now you would at least trust her with the animals. She has a way with them."

"Please Maura. Jo Friday doesn't know what the woman is. You have to make her let Jo Friday go."

Maura shook her head. "I don't have to make her do anything Korsak. She has a brain. She understands. She won't harm the dog."

Maura could tell by the look on his face that he did not believe her. She sighed.

"Jane." The tall woman immediately looked at her, but could tell by her posture she was still watching Korsak. "Could you please put the dog, Jo Friday, down? Korsak would like to take her back inside."

Maura saw the wheels turning in the woman's head. She glanced down to the dog in her arms, which had calmed by this point, then back to Maura.

Maura nodded her head. "It's ok Jane. He won't hurt her."

The Alpha seemed to think about it a minute more before making her decision. Slowly she crouched to her heels and put the dog on the ground. Once she stood back up she kept her face on the dog at her feet. Immediately she turned her heels and went in the opposite direction of the house. At her first step the little dog started to follow her.

Maura saw Korsak's face turn aghast. "Jo Friday! Come here girl. Jo! Come on!" He tried calling her back.

The little dog ignored him in favor of her new friend. Maura couldn't help but smirk at the sight of the tall wild woman walking away with a small dog at her heels.

She turned to Korsak, "It'll be ok Korsak. She won't hurt the dog. I'm sure she will take good care of her."

"You can't know that Maura! That woman is a killing machine. She was made to kill with no remorse, and one of these days she will do something. I know it! I have seen the destruction of their kind too many time to just trust one blindly."

Maura pinched the bridge of her nose. "I do not trust her blindly Korsak. She has proved to me she can be trusted, with the animals at least. I wish you could see her the way I do."

"I will never trust her Maura. She is too dangerous. Mark my words. She will hurt you." He turned and walked away leaving Maura staring after him. Now that the current crisis had been adverted she went back to the house to finish her paperwork.

…

They were eating dinner. It was just Jane and Maura, since Jonathan had been invited over to a friend's house. It was quiet, not an awkward one Maura realized with some surprise. The day's events had her thinking and she was glad that Jonathan was not there to entertain. She realized that Jane being quiet was a bit of a blessing this night.

Korsak worried her. She did not know how to get the man to trust Jane. By now Maura had hoped he would, especially after seeing the way she treats animals, which Maura knew were dear to Korsak's heart.

She realized eventually she wasn't hungry and was just pushing her food around. Looking up she saw Jane had already finished and was just sitting in her chair staring at Jonathan's place at the table. There was a furrow in her brow. Maura put her fork down, and the clink of it against her plate brought the Alpha out of her thoughts. She looked at Maura, then back to Jonathan's place.

Oh for a single minute in the mind of the woman in front of her Maura thought. It must be a fascinating place.

When she stood up to throw away the food on her plate she stopped mid motion when she heard a noise. Setting the plate back down she looked to Jane as she finished standing.

"Jane? Did you say something?" Maura watched her hoping she would repeat herself. When the silence continued for several minutes she got grabbed her plate and turned to the sink. After she scraped the plate into the trash beneath the sink she rinsed the plate off and left it. For several more minutesshe just stood in front of the sink her back to Jane.

Still no words from the woman still seated at the table.

When she turned around she smiled at the woman, who was watching her now and then turned to go into the living room.

"Than."

She stopped mid step and slowly turned around. "Jane?"

"Than?" Jane looked to Maura, her tone reflected a question. A question about Jonathan?

"What is it?"

"Than?" Oh my god she asked it again. Maura had to work hard to contain her glee. Jane had just spoken the shortened version of Jonathan no less than three times. She saw Jane look to his place at the table again. She quickly put two and two together.

"Oh!" This was the first night since being uncollared that Jonathan had not been at dinner. "He's at a friend's house tonight. It's not a school night so he is having a sleep over."

Jane just looked at her.

"He'll be back tomorrow Jane." Apparently this was the right thing to say. Jane immediately stood up from the table with her plate, turned her back to Maura and proceeded to start doing the dishes.

Another first.

Normally Jane did the dishes late at night when Maura had already gone to bed. Maura's face lit up into such a happy grin she was lucky her face didn't get stuck that way.

Progress. Jane was making progress.

* * *

><p>Korsak still didn't trust her. Maura was at a crossroads, and the turning point seemed to be Korsak's trust in Jane. Though she had shown no signs of being violent, and even after the confrontation with Jo Friday, Korsak still did not trust her. Maura didn't know what to do.<p>

Over the last couple weeks Jane had been almost normal. As normal as a lethal killer could be at any rate. She never threatened, she never harmed. She still helped in the stables, and did the dishes at night. Most importantly she had not touched Jonathan, though he was still a topic that worried Maura on occasion. She still liked to watch them together. Even with his over exuberance on occasion when Maura thought she might have to intervene Jane never laid a finger on him.

Jane's presence was more dominant though. Maura could almost feel her presence in the air, like radio waves. Maura knew it was ridiculous but she could not help but to feel it. The shy and guarded Alpha was gone and in its place was a being that had no notion of how to be a meek, docile individual.

So Maura had a problem. She had a major business trip that she had to go to in Boston in regards to some horse sales and purchases. Jonathan was staying at his friend's house for the few days that Maura would be gone, so she did not have to worry about him. What about Jane? Maura had no problem leaving her on the ranch to her own devices but Korsak didn't trust her and Maura was worried that his lack of trust would cause a conflict while she was away.

She wasn't sure what to do.

She could take Jane with her, however that meant Jane had to go everywhere with her and she was sure that the people on the street would recognize the slight scarring on her neck and even more noticeable the small A tattooed just to the corner of her left eye. Even though there had only been two Alphas' before her she knew the populace would still recognize the symbol for what it was.

While the Authority liked to pretend they were underground about their activities, and while the government liked to believe the same thing, there was no hiding the kind of people they created. On occasion one would escape and cause some trouble, not to mention the first Alpha that had been created had caused such problems across the board there was no way the people would not recognize Jane for what she was.

Maura was at a crossroads.


	17. Chapter 17

**Longest chapter so far. I hope you enjoy it.**

She seriously hoped she would not regret her decision. After agonizing about it for a few days Maura finally made the decision to take Jane with her to Boston. She was only going to be there for two days, just to finalize some paperwork on a set of horses she was to purchase from the horse racing circuit. Over the last few years the horse racing in the state of Massachusetts had declined significantly and there were rumors that the upcoming season would be the last. Due to this many people were trying to get out as ahead as they could. This meant good business for Maura to bring some new blood onto her ranch.

It was quite easy for Maura to cover the scars on Jane's skin, as well as the Alpha tattoo with a bit of makeup. Getting the make-up on, before their flight out of Kentucky, had been an event that required much more patience on Maura's part than she had ever had to use before. Jane had been very reluctant to be touched, not to mention the fact that Maura was trying to put something on Jane's face made it even worse. She was just glad she only had to apply the make-up for a couple of days, and then they would be home in their safety bubble.

Maura was lucky enough to have her own private Jet to take them to Boston. She did not have a clue how she would have gotten Jane through security at the airport otherwise since the woman had no identification. A confrontation at the airport could have been disastrous.

It was still early in the day, only about nine o'clock in the morning. And the current crisis was trying to get Jane on the plane. They had been scheduled to take off in the next ten minutes but with Jane being stubborn and refusing to get on the plane Maura was sure they would not make their departure time. Realizing now that the make-up application was just the first step in getting Jane to Boston with her made her almost wish she had left Jane behind on the ranch. She had to admit to herself however that she was quite surprised that getting Jane into the SUV and to the airport had been the easiest task. She was sure Jane would have tried to bolt.

"Jane please. We need to get on the plane. I don't want to be late. I have a meeting scheduled for not long after we are supposed to land." Maura had been pleading with Jane to get on the plane for the last 20 minutes.

Jane just continued to stand a look at Maura, not moving an inch.

Maura looked to Korsak. They still weren't quite on speaking terms, but he was a loyal employee and decided to drive with them so he could take the SUV back to the ranch.

"Alright Jane. You don't have to come." She turned to Korsak, "Korsak?" He looked to Maura. "Can you please take Jane home with you? It appears she doesn't want to join me."

With her question and statement hanging in the air Maura turned away from Jane and started towards the ladder into the plane. She got three-quarters of the way up the steps when she felt a presence and then a light touch to her shoulder. She turned around to see Jane standing right behind her, only one step below her. Maura wasn't used to being the same height as Jane.

Looking past her she looked at Korsak, who just shrugged his shoulders and then climbed into the SUV and quickly drove away. When her gaze returned to Jane she saw the woman worrying her hands, and shifting slightly from foot to foot. Maura had wanted so badly to reach out and sooth Jane's hands. Since being uncollared she had not been allowed to touch them, and she was sure without the daily massage they had started to hurt again. Jane's posture and attitude were vastly different from the dominate woman who mere hours earlier was in her bathroom struggling like an errant child to prevent having the make-up applied. Though the woman before wasn't wearing a collar, she looked softer, not quite so hard edged.

"You changed your mind Jane?" Maura was surprised to see a small nod. "Ok. We are running late. I hope we get a tail wind, to make up the time. Come on."

Not too many minutes later their plane took off with Jane's hands clenched tightly to the armrests of her seat eyes closed. She had sat herself as far away from Maura as possible, but Maura still couldn't keep the smile off of her face at knowing that Jane would rather be uncomfortable and slightly vulnerable with her than stuck with Korsak at the ranch. She knew though that the stony façade of Jane would return once she was back on solid ground.

Just as Maura had suspected as soon as Jane had gotten off the plane, actually she had rushed it seemed, she was back to her hard, dominate personality. Maura hadn't minded, she had just been happy they'd arrived safely and before her meeting. Since they did not have a chance to stop by the hotel they were staying at Maura was a little grumpy, but it wasn't enough of an emotional response to cancel out her generally good mood for the day. Lucky for her the meeting went well, even with a high strung Jane seated in the corner of the office with the business men all casting glances her way the entire meeting.

Their evening had been normal, as normal as it could be when considering that Jane was an uncollared Alpha taking her first trip to Boston. And just how normal was proven when Jane made a nest on the floor from the bed clothing and what was in the spare closet. She was already asleep, no doubt from all the stress and changes that had happened to her today. Since Maura had decided to spend the extra money on getting a suite with two rooms she knew Jane would be alright till the morning.

Maura turned to go to her room, where was planning to put the final touches on her business plan for the horses she was in Boston to purchase. She wanted to be prepared for tomorrow's business deal. She fell asleep not long after getting into bed, and slept peacefully through the night.

….

They were halfway done with their day, and Maura was just happy that her business had been concluded in her favor. After another trial in patience that morning to get the make-up on Jane's cheek and neck Maura felt she could breathe and relax for the last half of the day and their remaining time in Boston. They would be flying out early the next morning. Until then Maura wanted to do some shopping while in Boston, maybe pick up some Christmas gifts a little early and definitely get something for Jonathan while there.

After stepping out of the fourth or maybe it was the fifth store, they had been in that afternoon Maura noticed the darkening clouds in the sky. She quickly realized that neither Jane nor she were dressed for any kind of storm. Quickly making the decision she turned back towards the hotel which was several blocks away. Jane followed dutifully behind her.

She hadn't said anything for the past couple days and though Maura wasn't worried, she had hoped that maybe Jane would be enjoying herself more. The brunette walking to her left was so had to read sometimes. Right now her eyes were hard and calculating as they walked down the street. Her shoulders were hunched, not in fright but in a response to her unknown environment. She seemed to be ready to fight or flee at any provocation.

Immediately after Maura felt the first rain drop her cheek the torrential downpour that had been building was unleashed. They were soaked in seconds, and when Jane stopped walking she gave Maura a look that the blonde couldn't help but giggle at. It seemed that Jane was not having a good day and the rain on top of everything she had experienced over the past 24 hours had been enough for her. Jane didn't run though. She plodded beside Maura as they continued to their hotel.

Maura thought about hailing a taxi or ducking into a store to get out of the rain but she had always liked being out in it. Since there didn't seem to be any lighting and they both were already drenched she decided to enjoy herself and just kept walking towards the hotel. A glance at Jane immediately told the blonde she did not have the same feelings of peace and serenity in the rain that Maura did.

Almost as quickly as it had started the rain stopped. It was still really cloudy and the skies could open up again any second but since Maura knew they were almost to the hotel she kept on walking. She saw Jane wipe her face on her sleeve, which didn't do much when her thick hair was holding so much water and it seemed to just continue flowing down her face.

With the rain holding off for now more people appeared out on the sidewalk. It was then that Maura started to notice it. People were abruptly changing their direction of movement when they saw Jane, even going so far as to cross the street. A few people seemed to have the blood drain from their faces and others turned red with anger. Maura was so confused.

Minutes later there was a shout.

"Halt! Boston police!"

Maura turned to look around, not immediately seeing where the officer was or who they may have been shouting to. She kept walking with Jane at her side.

"I SAID HALT!"

This time when Maura tuned around she saw an African American man in a nice dress suit, with a badge on his hip not too far behind them. When Jane had realized Maura wasn't with her anymore she stopped herself and turned around. Maura saw the man was coming towards them fast with his hand on the butt of his gun. She looked around again, and at seeing no nefarious activity occurring around her, and the way the man was looking at her could only assume the officer was yelling at her.

"Officer?" Maura called tentatively. "What is the matter?"

Looking to Maura the man said gently, "Please ma'am come away from where you are standing. Come to me slowly."

Maura was still confused; she looked back towards Jane, who seemed to be just as confused as she was. "I am sorry officer but what is this about?"

"Ma'am, please step away from the woman behind you. Do so slowly, we do not want to startle her."

She looked to Jane again. That's when she noticed it, and made all the connections. Synapses fired in her brain and she realized what was going on. No! The combination of the rain and Jane wiping her face with her shirt sleeve had removed the make-up on her face, and the A at the corner of her left eye was plainly visible. So was some of the scarring around her neck.

Looking at the officer again Maura spoke, "Its ok officer, she's with me." Maura saw movement in her periphery and saw the S.W.A.T. teams moving onto their location with their guns trained on Jane. Her eyes widened in horror.

The black man was gently waving her towards him now as he himself stepped closer and closer. Maura just stood in place unable to move. Eventually he reached her and grabbed her on her upper arm, and with not so gentle insistence pulled her way from Jane.

"No!" she shouted.

And that was all it took. Jane sprang to action and was going after Maura and the man who was gripping her arm faster than Maura thought possible. When she saw the guns become more focused on Jane, ready to fire she shouted to her.

"Jane! No!" She saw Jane stumble. "I'm alright Jane, please. Don't struggle. Let them take you." The men were moving on them fast and Maura could see how confused Jane was. Her instincts were to fight, but her apparent trust in Maura warred with her nature.

_She was so focused on Maura that she did not notice the men so close to her back that they quickly took her arms and using a special kind of cuff had Jane immobile. She struggled in her bonds, but the 3 inch steel cuffs on her wrists and then on her ankles prevented her from making much movement. She tried anyway. She didn't make a sound. She continued to wiggle as the men picked her up and carried her to a van. Her struggles continued in earnest when she was placed inside, blinded with a burlap sack and locked in place to the van's floor. _

_And then a collar was placed around her neck, and all her movement stopped. She was limp now. And scared, so very scared. Where was Maura? She wanted Maura. She wanted to go home._

All this time Maura watched in horror. "Jane! Jane!" Turning to the man who still had ahold of her Maura shouted in his face, "Let her go! She won't hurt anyone! Let her go." Maura started to struggle now. She couldn't get out of the man's grip. She was crying on fear and heart ache. They had made so much progress and her stupid decision to take Jane with her to Boston might have just destroyed all of it.

Eventually she stopped moving and hung limp in the man's grasp. She was on autopilot now. She let the man lead her to his police car and gently put her in the front seat, buckling her seat belt for her. Maura stared straight ahead when he crouched down next to her. Eventually he stood up, got behind the wheel and followed behind the van that held Jane.

...

Once at the station Maura was directed to a desk with a computer on it. She saw the Detective turn the computer on and there on the screen was Jane in a padded cell. A collared Jane in a padded cell, still cuffed at wrist and ankle cowering in such fear that Maura though she could hear the woman tremble. At least they moved the cuffs to Jane's front. She would be slightly more comfortable but that held no comfort for Maura.

"You have to let me go to her," she spoke to the computer screen.

"I'm sorry. I can't do that. She's too dangerous."

"Does she look dangerous to you Detective?," Maura spat the words with venom. "She's terrified, and thank to you, months of work have been ruined trying to get her acclimated back to society."

"She's an Alpha. There is no getting back to society for that one. She should have never been creative, the Authority should have known better." The man looked thoughtful for a moment. "How the hell do you have her? There is no way she's yours, how did you get a hold of her?"

Maura refused to answer or look at the man.

He sighed in frustration. "Look if I can get you in there will you talk to me? I need to know what is going on. You have no idea how many phone calls we got that a Raven was free without a collar, not to mention it was an Alpha. You need to work with me as much as I need to work with you"

Maura stared at the woman on the screen. She couldn't stand to see her revert back to her submissive self. She nodded her head, "On one condition."

"And what's that?"

"You let me uncollar her."

"NO!" The answer exploded out of man so fast Maura was worried he might had hurt himself. "Absolutely not"

She turned to him. "Did you know we have been in this city for over 24 hours and not once was Jane collared. It wasn't until you threatened to take me that she might have become violent. How long did it take from the decision to send a force to retrieve her and the time you got to our location for you to reach us? Not once did she hurt someone. I will talk to you, only you, if you get me in there and let me remove the collar."

"I can't risk your life."

"You won't be I will be risking my own."

He shook his head, the captain was going to have his ass for this, and maybe his head too.

"Alright, but I will be in there with you with a gun trained on her should she turn violent."

Maura smiled at her win, "That will be acceptable Detective, and your name?"

"Oh. Frost, Detective Frost."

"My name is Maura Isles."

….

Soon enough they were both in the padded room and Frost had assured Maura that he had turned the camera off so the other officers would not realize what was going on.

Maura stared at the figure in the far corner of the brightly lit room. A tear fell past her cheek.

"Jane?" she called softly.

The huddle of human flesh startled momentarily.

"Jane honey? It's ok. It's Maura." She stepped close to the Raven. She was glad to see that for now Detective Frost had his gun at this side.

"Jane?" Maura started to hum after calling for Jane again.

Slowly but surely the bundle uncurled itself and as soon as the brown eyes looked to Maura's face it scrambled across the floor into Maura's arms as best as it could manage with the cuffs on and trembling so hard Maura could feel both their bones creaking.

"Shhh…." She continued to hum. "It'll be alright." She rocked Jane gently in her arms for a few moments.

Looking to Detective Frost she asked, "The key to her collar?"

He hesitated, but when he saw Maura's steely gaze he quickly tossed her the key. It landed on the floor next to the two women. Maura picked it up and gently moved Jane away from her. Jane peeked up through her hair, it was a tangled mess, but so was Maura's. She had refused to change clothes until she could get to Jane and release her.

"It's ok Jane. Just sit here for me for a minute." With her arms still around Jane she slowly raised the hand with the key in it and placed it in the lock on the collar. Unlike the first time Maura had done this she had no fear.

Jane stiffened in her arms. After taking a deep breath Maura turned the key and collar fell to the floor.

Jane had stopped trembling at that instant and then jerked her body away. This Jane didn't like to be touched. The eyes that looked into Maura's own were hard as steel, but they didn't show malice towards her. Maura could not say the same for when those eyes turned to the man at her back with a gun trained on them.

"Jane." After a pause the eyes returned to hers again. Maura smiled, "There you are. Are you okay?"

Jane quickly lifted her arms up to Maura, with her wrists still manacled together. Maura winced; they looked to be raw and bloody from her struggle when first immobilized. Based on how Jane's hands had curled into claws her hands must be in agony, but she did not show any pain.

"The keys to her cuffs Detective?"

"No. That wasn't part of the agreement. She'll kill us both the second you fully release her."

"I assure you Detective. If Jane had wanted us dead, we would have been dead the moment after the collar was released. Cuffed or not, with your gun or not, would have made no difference. The key please." It was a statement this time.

He sighed in resignation and ready to accept his fate, whether alive or dead he tossed the second key to Maura.

She pulled Jane towards the opposite wall surprised Jane had allowed her to lead her so willingly. She leaned against it. Once as far from Detective Frost as possible she turned to Jane who raised her cuffs again. Gently taking her hands Maura used the key to release the wrist cuffs, then reached down and removed the leg cuffs as well. Once released they all just sat there staring at each other for long minutes.

Maura was happy that Jane seemed calm.

Frost couldn't believe he was still alive.

Maura saw Jane worrying her palms from the side of her vision, she put her hands in her lap turning them palm up, the same way she used to do in the kitchen when Jane was still collared. Quicker than Maura had expected she felt hands in her own, and taking one of them she started to massage it to relieve the pain she knew was coiled within.

Frost looked on with wonder. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. The Alpha seemed to be relaxed, and though he saw the woman watching him on occasion he wasn't as scared as he figured he should be. He didn't understand. How had the small blonde woman tamed the wild beat that was an Alpha?

"So," he wanted to hear this story, "you promised me an explanation." Slowly he put his gun back in its holster.

"That I did Detective. It might take some time."

"I've got all night."

"Some months ago I received a phone call in the middle of the night…."

**There you have it. I hope you understand by not the italics are Jane. And you have no idea how much I almost left you guys with a cliffy. There will be others high points, this isn't the end. Seems Jane and Maura have made a new friend. Tell me what you think. I always enjoy everyone's reviews. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey you guuuyyyysssss! (Can anyone name the movie this is from? Gold star if you can!) I'm back and alive from my whirlwind of hurt, sick and parents. Thanks so much for your kind reviews and well wishes. The below chapter is a filler, and shorter than I would like. Enjoy!**

Frost was speechless. It was quite a story that the woman in front of him had told. If it wasn't for the dark woman at her side, with the shifting eyes, tense body and an A tattooed on her left cheek he would have had a hard time believing it. With the evidence sitting before him alive, breathing, and decidedly non-threatening (for the moment) he wondered what was in store for him next.

"Detective Frost? Are you alright?"

"Hm. What? Yes? Yes. I am fine. I am sorry, that was quite an accounting of events. I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that she" he pointed to Jane, "hasn't killed me yet."

Maura looked to Jane, who was intently watching Frost from across the room. She had stopped massaging Jane's hands half-way through the tale, and it seemed Jane was still relaxed.

"How long did it take to get her this far?" he nodded towards Jane.

"A number of months Detective. She has only been uncollared for a little over one month."

"If she is the only Alpha alive right now, how have you escaped the Authority?"

Maura sucked in a breath. "Detective Frost, you must not tell anyone about Jane! I worry that the Authority will find her, and through her my family."

When Maura looked towards Jane again there was a softness in her eyes that Frost had noticed before. It looked to him that Maura really cared for the Raven. He knew enough about the authority and their practice of raising children to be Ravens to realize how much of a miracle it was for Maura to bring Jane to where she was now. He knew what it took to make an Alpha, and he wondered how much worse it really was for Jane to have been made an Alpha that actually had been controllable. It didn't take him long to come to a decision.

"I will do what I can to help. Including going into the system to try and remove the files and other information on todays," he took a pause, "incident."

Maura nodded in acceptance.

"Ms. Isles-" Frost was interrupted.

"Maura. Call me Maura. After today I think you have earned the right."

He smiled slightly. "Maura. I would also like to apologize to you and to Jane. I hope you can accept my apology for your treatment today.

"Detective Frost-" It was Maura's turn to be interrupted.

"Barry. You have earned that right was well".

"Barry, there is nothing for you to apologize for. You were doing your job today and I do not fault you or your team for your caution."

Barry liked this woman more with every second. "I would still like you accept my apology. Like I said I will do what I can but I cannot guarantee that someone has not already or will not find information on today's incident and come looking for you and particularly Jane."

"That is acceptable Detective. I accept your apology and thank you for your help. May I ask what the best way would be for us to exit the building to avoid any unnecessary drama?"

"Do you have any make up on you? I might have something that would work, but the A on her cheek would need to be covered."

"I have enough to do her face yes, but not her neck."

"Don't worry about her neck. I'll take care of it. I will be back as soon as I can." He stood from the corner he was in, and though he believed the tale Maura told he was still cautious around Jane. He watched her carefully as he eased out of the room.

…

Maura sat quietly while they waited for Barry to come back. Her thoughts were all over the place, but mostly worried that someone would discover information from today that would help them locate Jane. She couldn't help but worry. It was in her nature to worry after the battle her and Cameron had faced with Cameron's health, which ultimately resulted in her death. She worried about Jonathan, she worried about the ranch, she just worried all the time and now it seemed she had to worry about the authority coming for Jane.

She sighed at the hopelessness she felt. She cared for Jane, really cared for her. After as long as they had spent in each other company with highs and lows it was hard not to. Jane was still a Raven though; she could not provide the comfort that a partner would in these kind of situations.

She was startled out of her musing by a soft touch to her shoulder. When she turned her head to the woman beside her she was surprised to see a trace of worry in her features.

"I'm fine Jane. Just tired and ready to go home." Maura didn't know how long it would take Barry to return so she leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes.

A smile broke out on her face when she felt a head rest against her shoulder. They would be fine. She just knew it.

…

Sometime later Frost returned and when he opened the door he was surprised at the view in front of him. The two women were asleep against the far wall of the padded room. The Alpha, Jane, he had to remember to call her Jane, had her head in Maura's lap. It was certainly a sight to behold.

He walked slowly over to the two women, and crouched down carefully on Maura's other side. He took his free hand and gently shook Maura awake. When she opened her eyes she sent a friendly smile to him. He was pleased to see she was happy to see him; he had worried that she might have thought her trust was misplaced.

"Hello Barry." Maura spoke with a soft voice and looked to her lap. "If you don't mind going to the other side of the room I will wake Jane. I do not want her to startle and hurt you."

"What about you Maura? Will she not hurt you?" He spoke gently as well.

"No. She will not. Do not worry; we have slept like this in the past when Jane was having problems. And though there were some incidents of our own through her rehabilitation I have the utmost trust in her."

He nodded his head and headed to the other side of the room, immediately crouching down to provide less of a threat. He watched and marveled at Maura waking Jane up from their impromptu nap. He saw Jane startle for a moment, but when she turned her head to look up at Maura she relaxed again. And then almost as if she had an extra sense she immediately turned her head in his directions and narrowed her eyes. He looked away from her face and waited.

"Barry?"

Looking up from the floor he saw both women standing across the room.

"Hey. I uh, it might be a crazy idea, but uh-."He stopped talking and looked at the bundle wrapped in his arms. "Here." He held out the bundle.

Maura stepped forward and took what looked like clothes from Barry. She shook them out.

"A police uniform? How will this help Barry?"

"I want Jane to put it on, and tuck her hair into the cap. The others here at the station won't look twice at another person in blue. I think it is the best way to get her out of the building."

Maura nodded in understanding. "That is a very good idea. I think it will work."

"I'll wait outside for you two then. So she can change and you can apply the make-up." He fled quickly.

…

When Jane and Maura stepped out of the padded room about 20 minutes later Barry had to close his mouth in shock at how well the uniform fit Jane and how good she looked in it.

Maura saw his face and grinned. "I agree Barry. She looks very good."

He nodded. "Well let's go. Time to get you out of here."

Once they were at the front doors, with not a single incident getting there, Barry turned to Maura. "Be safe. And I would keep your eyes open for a while. What I can do in the system might not be enough."

Looking to Jane, Barry smiled. "Take care of her Jane. She might need you."

Once they said their goodbyes Jane and Maura went out the doors of the station house. Jane turned her head over her shoulder and nodded her head, "Barry".

His smile was immediate. He turned away and couldn't keep the grin off of his face for the rest of the day. Inside though he had his own worries just as Maura did. He felt he would see them again, but his worries centered around what the situation might be on their reappearance.

…

Maura immediately hailed a taxi when they were outside and told the driver how to get to their hotel. She called the airport and told them to get the plane ready, as they were leaving as soon as possible.

Once in their room she immediately began a flurry of activity getting all their belongings together. Jane just watched her with a look of awe as Maura whirled around the room. When Jane changed out of the police uniform Maura made sure to pack it with their stuff, who knows when it might come in handy again. Not to mention Jane looked damn good in it. She had to stop herself there with that thought.

Hotel staff came and took their bags downstairs. With one look around the room Maura grabbed Jane's hand and pulled her from her apparent stupor. She could tell Jane was tired. The small nap at the station didn't do much for Jane whom Maura knew must have used a lot of her energy when trying to break her bonds when captured earlier in the day. As soon as they were on the plane and home the better.

Maura was quite happy that getting Jane on the plane the second time was far less of a hassle than the first time. It didn't take long for Jane to fall asleep as soon as she sat down. And with nothing to occupy her hands or her mind Maura worried again. It never stopped. She fell asleep not too long after Jane with a frown on her face.

* * *

><p><em>Maura had fought for her. She couldn't remember the last time someone had fought for her that way. She finally felt wanted, in a world where she had previously been only a thing to do with as people pleased. Her hardened heart started to ripen towards softness after their experience in Boston. She was happy. She hoped it would last. She slept with a face of peace.<em>

**Oh! One more thing. To the guest reviewer who mentioned that my story was recommended to them on twitter, is there any way I can get a link to see that? I am flattered that my story is apparently being recommended in that way. It makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Later.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Short one. Sorry it took so long. Uh, yeah, have fun with this one. **

Life.

It is a characteristic that distinguishes objects that have signaling and self-sustaining processes from others that do not.

Jane was life now.

The woman that Maura had first welcomed into her home was gone, and in its place was a vibrant woman who now expressed her thoughts and feelings. Maybe not in words, though that part of human communication had increased greatly in the few months since the incident in Boston. Jane had returned to life, and in a spectacular fashion.

And she was happy.

Maura was at a loss on what to do with her new found happiness. She couldn't stop herself from smiling at any little thing that occurred throughout her day. She owed it all to Jane. It had been a long time since she had such reason to smile all the time.

The loss of Cameron had destroyed a piece of her heart and soul, and while she knew those pieces would forever be lost she was now much more hopeful that they would be repaired. When Maura and Cameron had been younger, before Cameron had contracted Lyme Disease, they were youthful and carefree. Never thinking that something created from such a small creature like a tick could ruin everything. And yet it did.

The battle with the disease itself wasn't the only thing that brought Maura down. She lost faith in the system of medicine that for so many years of her life had always had the answers to all the questions. How naïve she had been. Even then it was never that they didn't have a cure, which they didn't, it was the fact that a large majority of the medical world did not believe that Lyme Disease was an actual disease. Let alone one that could kill someone with such hostility.

They had spent months and years going to doctor after to doctor, those willing to help, to only be let down once again as those doctors lost their licenses to practice medicine.

Eventually they ran out of doctors.

When Cameron died Maura had lost a part of her life. A part of her ceased to function and even with Jonathan still by her side and in her arms every night she had to wonder if she would ever heal that part of herself.

It was gone forever until her.

Until Jane.

She was doing it.

Maura did not know how, but somehow the woman was healing her and closing the holes in the parts of her being that were missing the life she needed to go on. With every passing day she came to care for the fierce woman more and more. It was a wonderful feeling.

…..

Maura looked out the window from Jonathan's room where she was putting his clothes away. Jane was teaching him how to defend himself, which she wasn't sure she was happy about. But he was so excited every time Jane taught him something new she just hated to tell him no. He had the puppy dog eyes down perfect. Once she came out of her thoughts she saw him take a swing at the Alpha, which she surprisingly didn't see coming, and he punched her in the side of the head with as much force as a 6 year old could have. Jane immediately stopped moving, and Maura saw her tense. Maura quickly tried to scan Jane's body language. Jane might not have been violent at all yet but she was still a Raven, she still could be. And this was the first sign of its possibility, the immediate change in Jane's body language.

Without conscious thought Maura flew down the stairs of the house cursing herself for being so stupid to let Jonathan be get so close to her that he might trigger something in her, especially now without a collar to control her. Without a collar to make her docile and safe for Jonathan to interact with. As she left the back door she grabbed the gun from the hall closet. She didn't want to use it, but damn if she would lose the only thing of Cameron she had left, even to a woman that was working her way into her heart.

"Jonathan!" she screamed as she ran outside. "Get in the house. Now!"

Jonathan looked at her, confused with the emotion she was displaying. Jane had yet to move, but she was also still very tense.

And still. So very still.

"Now Jonathan!"

He scrambled up at his mother's tone and ran inside. Maura slowly came up to Jane loosely holding the gun at her side. Jane looked up at her, and then her gaze shifted to the gun in her hand. Once her eyes came back to Maura's she slowly stood.

"No trust?" the Alpha whispered in a small voice. It was unlike her to speak so softly, normally she was almost gruff in the way she spoke.

For a moment Maura was confused. It wasn't often that Jane chose to speak since she started getting her words back. Once she snapped back into the moment she realized the question she had been asked. Though it was simplistic, Maura knew what Jane wanted to know.

"No! That's not true, I do trust you. You've made great progress, you're doing amazing. You know how I feel about how well you are doing, you're progressing every day," Maura responded as she put the gun into the back of her pants.

The Alpha's eye brows creased in concentration while Maura watched with worry written on her face. She knows Jane is smart, a lot smarter than the Authority ever gave her credit for. Probably as smart as Jonathan would be when he got older. She was going to figure it out. She knew she would and she didn't know what would happen when she did.

"No trust with Than?" Raven questioned further.

Maura wasn't at all surprised she figured it out so fast. Damn her! In her heart Maura wanted to trust the Alpha with Jonathan's well-being, and she thought she had already. But he was all she had left of Cameron, and she couldn't take the chance. She couldn't let anything happen to him, and while Jane had made extensive progress she still could become violent (even though she hadn't yet after several months). The woman in front of her was so different from the others she had rehabbed. So different than the Alpha's that had to be killed not long after their creation. She was more controlled, more thoughtful, which probably made her such a good killer to begin with. But dammit she was still dangerous, especially without the collar which once it had been removed some time ago would never go back on her neck. Not willingly anyway.

"I, I do trust you with Than," Maura said hesitantly. "Just, I can't lose him. I know he likes taking these lessons from you, but it's still dangerous." She knew it was the wrong thing to say the instant it came out of her mouth. The 'your still dangerous' hung out in the open without ever being spoken aloud.

Jane's eyes grew wide. "No trust!" she said with clear anger in her voice.

Maura flinched and took a step back.

The Alpha's eyes widened further, sadness instantly took over her expressive dark brown orbs as a single tear fell from the corner of her eye and cut past her Alpha tattoo. She immediately turned away and walked into the house, straight to the stairs that led inside and straight to the attic. Toward her room. Toward solitude.

Maura watched her go, knowing she had just ruined any progress they had made. Knowing Jane now like she did she would return to being mute for quite a few days. They had made an amazing amount of progress in her time at the ranch with her speech but whenever something became too much she stopped speaking. Maura hung her head in shame and hugged herself as her own tears started falling from her face. Quickly wiping the tears away she put on a mask and walked back into the house to go find Jonathan, who hopefully didn't hate her as well.

* * *

><p><em>She had liked it here. Liked the open spaces without the metal bars and crappy food that defined her imprisonment before. She liked Jonathan, she especially liked Maura but after this afternoon she knew that she couldn't stay. Not when she knew deep down that Maura didn't trust her, and would never really trust her. Not after her past, after the lives she had taken on command. <em>

_So she left. Silently, which she was a master at. She cleaned up her room. No, it was Maura's room, never hers. She dismantled her nest on the floor and properly made the bed, with the soft sheets that always smelled so nice. She placed her collar on the pillow and figured that would be message enough. She knew how to read and write, but after this afternoon the anguish was too great. It would be easier to sever the ties completely. _

_She was thankful of everything Maura had done for her. For feeding her and taking care of her, for helping her to cope with entering the world as something other than a killer, an assassin. She could do it now. She was smart, smarter than most others; she could take care of herself. Sadly she knew though that she would have to go back to fighting. To killing. It was the only trade she knew and without income she would certainly die. But at least she was her own woman now. She could enter herself in the fights and make her own profit from the wins instead of earning for the Authority. She had learned quite a bit from watching Maura on what makeup was and how to cover an unwanted blemish._

_As she quietly slipped from the attic she forced herself to forget. Forget the small bit of happiness she had found here. Forced herself to not look back or she would lose her courage to do this now before things got more involved. Before she really could not leave. With her own silent tears she left the only home she could remember, only looking forward to a new life she knew she would rather not have. _

* * *

><p>Death.<p>

The cessation of all biological organisms.

Maura was dead. She felt dead inside. And this time it was her own fault.

Jane was gone.

Her Jane.

Gone.

**The shit has hit the fan and we are running with it. Oh! And the bits about Lyme Disease not being recognized as a real thing and some doctors losing their licenses over trying to treat it, is a real thing. Check out the documentary "Under Our Skin". It's an eye opener. Cheers till next time!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Mt. Sterling is a real place in Kentucky, though I know nothing about it or what it looks like I took a name from the state and went with it. Pretend it's a big place with lots going on. I know you have not so patiently been waiting on this chapter. This entire chapter is Jane. The italics are what are happening currently, like the rest of the story. The bold is something else, you'll figure it out.**

**Oh, and just in case I want to put trigger warning on this chapter. **

***Edited 6/28/14**

_ It had been two days and she was starving. The cushy life she had lived on the farm was long gone, and while it was better than when she was collared in the pits, she missed the easy access to food. She hadn't eaten much since she left. With no money to pay for anything she had been reduced to a scavenger trying her luck in dumpsters. That didn't last long, she would rather starve than dig through trash to find a scrap of food that would fill her stomach but probably make her sick. _

_ The hunger she felt would not be with her much longer. She had been on the streets for two days since leaving Maura, Jonathan and the ranch behind but she had been busy. She was looking for some fighting rings. She knew she could make some cash there, but to find them you have to know the right kind of people. It took some time, and a little muscle to get the information she needed but once she had it she wasn't worried any longer about her homelessness. It would not take long to make enough cash to be comftorable. _

…

_A little mud and dirt easily covered the small A tattooed on her face. She didn't bother with the scarring on her neck, she was dirty enough right now for it to not be too visible. As she walked towards the non-descript door that was set into the wall of a brick building in the heart of Mt. Sterling, she was surprised to feel herself become nervous. She pushed the feeling aside. _

_It was a large enough city to have some decent pits from the information she could gather, but it was small enough that she could keep herself mostly hidden. She would have to be careful about the number of wins she receives. No use attracting attention to herself._

_She knocked on the door. It opened a few inches and the face of half a man was visible to her._

"_What do ya want?"_

"_Fighting Figaro". _

_Without another word the door opened the rest of the way allowing her entry into a dark hallway. The man guarding the door pointed to another doorway three quarters of the way down the hall. She nodded her head in understanding and headed there. Once in front of it she saw it had no door and a set of stairs immediately headed down at a steep angle. _

_It was dark, and the air smelled of mold and excessive moisture. _

_She reached the bottom of the stairs and opened the door at the bottom. The air that assaulted her nose made her take a step back. After living with Maura in the open air, smelling the air of the underground, the air of her previous life was almost too much. _

_She had to steady herself and take careful breaths._

_It wasn't enough._

…_._

**She had been 10 when she was taken. **

**She was with her mother and brothers out in the city running errands. She and her youngest brother were fighting. They were lagging behind the rest of her family as they argued and fought. **

**It had happened then, a man from out of nowhere had rushed them from across the street. She saw him going after her brother, and though they had been angry at each other she would always protect her family. She got in front of him, and before anyone could save her she was grabbed. She was taken.**

**They had taken her but they treated her well. She had a nice bed, and good food. She watched TV as long as she wanted and went outside to play with other children whenever she wanted. She missed her family, but she could never find a way to escape. **

**They came for her one night, grabbed her from her new bed and roughly dragged her from the room she was in. She started struggling, and that's when they started hitting her. She wouldn't stop squirming and they wouldn't stop hitting. She was yelling for help, crying and whimpering but they didn't seem to care. No one did. **

**She was strapped to a table. They cut her hair and put a collar around her neck. The marked her face with an A and it hurt much worse than a using a pen ever did. She didn't understand, and she kept screaming and they kept hitting.**

**She lived in a cage now. She barely had any food or water. She was dirty, and a mess. But she always fought back. And they always hit harder. Eventually she stopped fighting; it just used what energy she had left. They were still hitting.**

**She was being trained to fight, and every lesson she failed they beat it into her until she got it right. Every time she made a sound they hit her and shocked her with a stick. That was new. She stopped making sounds.**

**Her first fight. She was older now, and her opponent was much bigger than she was. She was terrified, she didn't know what to do, and she just wanted to follow the rules. Once the collar was off she wasn't scared anymore. She did what she was trained to do. She killed without mercy and when her opponent was dead she felt nothing for the life she had taken. Before she could turn on her handlers they shot her with a dart. She felt the blackness closing in as the collar was replaced around her neck. She was terrified. What had she done wrong?**

….

_Jane came back into herself sitting on the floor. A few men were staring at her from across the room. She was breathing hard, and there was sweat slicking her skin and making her hair stick to her face. She had no idea what had just happened. She had never felt anything like it, never been assaulted by the memories before. Her time living with Maura had never triggered something so fierce and terrifying. It was the first time she had felt such terror since her training had started as a child. Not knowing what else to do she carefully stood, her legs wobbly like the new born colt she had watched be born at the ranch. _

_Once she had steadied herself against the wall and regained her breath she stood tall and walked purposefully towards the tables only 20 feet from where she had panicked. _

"_What do you want?" the man behind the table asked gruffly. _

"_Fight". She didn't feel the need to elaborate; it was the only reason she had to go to this table in this forsaken place. _

_He looked at her funny, and she stared right back at him with no fear. He lowered his eyes and quickly wrote down what he needed to. He didn't need her name; she was the only woman fighting. _

"_You'll be fighting the winner of Match 7. If you win you get 15% of the winnings."_

_She turned away without acknowledging that the man had spoken. Walking past two fighting pits, to the last one on the far side of the room she leaned against the wall and waited._

_It took a few hours for her match to finally come up. It seemed the man she was fighting was popular amongst those betting. He had a significant number of wins and the match he just finished was just another notch on his belt. Jane smirked to herself as she stepped away from the wall. Him and the people watching the fights were about have a surprise sprung on them. _

_Before she entered the pit she took off her shirt, leaving her in just a sports bra and work-out pants. She removed her shoes as well; they would only slow her down. _

_Once she stepped into the ring she could hear the cackles and laughs of the men around her, see the smirks on their faces. She knew what they were thinking. It was the same thoughts running through their heads that all the others in the Authority thought when she was made to fight for them. She would show them. She might even have a bit of fun while she was at it._

_The man stepping into the ring was not a large man, nor a small one. He was average height, average weight though full of muscle. He was jumping around the ring bouncing up and down getting himself psyched up. She just stood in place. Not moving a single inch, not even really paying attention to her opponent. The bets were just finishing up, she knew everyone was going to be betting against her, but when she won she would have quite a bit of cash on hand to get herself started in this city. _

_The fight had started while she was thinking. His fist came fast to her face and slammed into her right cheek, knocking her to the ground. She didn't feel the pain; she had been trained to ignore all pain. Wiping her arm across her mouth she saw red. Her nose was bleeding. It had been awhile since she had seen her own blood. _

_He kicked her while she was still thinking. She ignored that pain too. _

_He backed away, waiting for her to get up. It seemed he thought he knew how to put on a show himself. _

_Standing up she looked up to the ceiling, reveling in the feeling of being back in a fight. She couldn't help it now; she was starting to regress back into her old self. The one that relished the pain, and wanted to fight. _

_Her opponent swung his right fist towards her head again, the crowd yelling and screaming for him to take her down. _

_She didn't let him._

_As his fist came close to her face she grabbed his wrist, and turned her head to look into his shocked face. She smiled, and saw him gulp the saliva in his mouth. Quickly, with speed no normal fighter should possess she was behind him with his arm twisted at an odd angle. She heard the bone snap, and so did the crowd who had gone silent the moment she had grabbed his wrist. _

_Letting him go she stepped away and watched as he grimaced in pain, trying to regain his fighting stance with one arm no longer working. He tried to come at her again, on her right side, hoping to get lost in her peripheral vision that was slowly going dark with the swelling of her cheek from his first hit. _

_She kicked her right leg out before he could get close enough to swing at her, knocking him to the ground and forcing all the air out of his lungs. He landed in an upwelling of sand and dirt. She stalked over to him and kneeled down, grabbing his throat. She started squeezing, not letting up on the pressure as he tried to gasp for air. _

_She was reveling in the feeling of power she had over the man. Her muscles knew the moves and her mind knew how to play just like when she was a slave to the Authority and their whims. She was thinking again, and while doing so she had missed his signal for mercy, and loss of the fight. _

_The men that pulled her off of her opponent quickly released her when she started to go after them. They backed away slowly and she stood unmoving again, breathing normally as if nothing had occurred. Her arm was raised by the ring master and the match declared hers. _

_She had won the fight. She had won the cash. _

_But she had lost Maura. _

_It didn't matter, she wasn't wanted anymore. _

_Turning away from the fight she went to the collection table, grabbed her cash, and left. _

_She had made not a sound. _

…..

_She had been alone for several months now. It's the same every month. When she needed the cash to pay for the cheap apartment, in one if the worst parts of town, she signed up for a fight._

_When she needed cash for groceries, she signed up for a fight._

_When she needed cash to clothe herself, she signed up for a fight._

_It was the same every month._

_Fight._

_Win. _

_Repeat._

_This was not the life she wanted to live, but she didn't know what else to do. Since leaving Maura she had virtually stopped talking. She had no need to, the silence she emitted always made her winnings better in the pits and without Maura to encourage her or to talk to she didn't feel the need. She had nothing to offer to anyone, her life had no purpose. _

_She wanted to go home. _

_She wanted to go back to the ranch and to live with Maura, and Jonathan. Even to be around that gruff man that always scowled in her direction would be better than what she had now._

_But she can't. Maura doesn't trust her. Maura doesn't want her. She is alone in a world that has no meaning for her. _

_She wants to go home._

…

_She'd come back as fast as she was able. Hitchhiking when she could and running when she couldn't. Her gut had told her to leave several days ago but she had ignored it. She wanted to try and let go of Maura and the Ranch and all the feelings that had started to come when in the blonde's presence. _

_Eventually she couldn't ignore it any longer, she had to go back. She had to make sure everything was alright._

_Then she had a feeling it wouldn't be fast enough. She had wanted to go home so bad but not in this circumstance. Something was terribly wrong._

_From the road she was running on she could see the smoke, and she knew what awaited her was worse than she could imagine. She silently cursed herself for having left in the first place. It had been several months and she was doing well for herself, she was winning fights and quickly had enough money live on her own. All the while though something gnawed at her, telling her she should go back, and never leave again. But she ignored it, and now it might have cost her the only two people that meant anything to her. _

_The property came into sight and she almost tripped after seeing what had happened. The house was gone, burned to the ground and multiple stables were still smoldering. She couldn't see any of the horses; she hoped they had made it out in time. As she came closer to the house she could see the tire tracks everywhere. She knew the treads immediately. It was the Authority. They had been here. How had they known she had been here? _

_Maura. Where were Maura and Jonathan? _

_She quickly scanned the ground for any shapes that looked vaguely human. Then she saw it. Blonde hair. Blonde hair that looked a lot like Maura's. She ran as quickly as she could to the still form, fearing she was already too late. Getting to her knees next to the prone form she carefully turned Maura over, and almost gasped at what she saw. Maura's face was a mess. Bruised and bloody. Looking down toward her body she saw blood all over her clothes. All over her skin. _

_Reaching her hand towards her face, she felt it. Barely there but there nonetheless a soft whisper of breath coming from Maura's nose. She was alive! Oh god she was still alive! Carefully scanning the horizon for any approaching figures Jane carefully pulled Maura into her arms and tried looking for Jonathan. The more she looked however the more she came to realize that Jonathan wasn't here. This only left one solution. _

_They had taken him. _

_He was at a prime age, and as smart as Jane was when they had taken her. If they could break him they might try and make another Alpha. She still had time though. She remembered being taken and for a few months she was treated well at the facility, before they started their torture and games. Jane had to take care of Maura first. Had to make sure she was alright, and then she would go after Jonathan. She had to. She loved them both too much to do nothing less. _

_After carefully shifting Maura in her arms she found the Torro that Maura used to haul equipment around the farm. She gently placed her in the bed and hoped in the driver's seat. It shouldn't take them too long to get to the city, to get to her rented room. She would take care of Maura, and then plan. She was good at making plans. _


	21. Chapter 21

**Ok. Thanks to a number of reviews in a row that thought the last chapter was rushed and not at all like my previous writing style, not to mention a significant number of grammatical errors I have gone back and made changes, reviewed everything and also agree. I have split the old chapter up into 2-3 chapters instead and made some additions in the hopes that it will be less rushed. While no author like criticisms such as the ones I received I am glad that you did so in a professional manner. I think I have gotten to the point where I am so excited to get to the really good stuff it just explodes out of my head without rhyme or reason leading to the disaster of the last chapter. Hopefully, since a large portion of the next couple chapters are already written I should be able to get another out this week. Anyway, I want to thank those that had the guts to tell me the last chapter sucked, and considering that is the first time I have gotten reviews such as those for this story, I took heed of what was being said. I hope this is better. This chapter becomes mostly filler. **

_She was almost off the property when she heard it. With the sound of the Toro in her ears she couldn't be sure so she stopped and turned the machine off to hear the sound better. _

_There it was again. It sounded like the bark of a dog. She turned in her seat and looked around trying to pinpoint where it was coming from. To her right she caught movement in the tall grass that was against the fence line on the road. A small scruffy dog appeared, all dirty and disheveled it came around to the driver's side of the work cart. _

_Jo Friday. It was the small dog that used to follow her all over the ranch, even when the whip man tried to keep her away. She stepped out of the cart and bent down to pick the dog up. Once in her arms Jo Friday immediately washed her face with her tongue and Jane stood there and bore it. She was happy to see the little dog too. Looking around she wondered where the whip man could have been. He was always around, but she hadn't see him in any of the wreckage after finding Maura. She quit worrying about him when Jo Friday wiggled in her arms. Gently she placed the dog in the bed of the cart with Maura. It didn't take long for Jo Friday to curl against Maura as she lay unmoving. Before she got going again Jane put her hand over Maura's face and still felt her breathing. She quickly got back into the driver's seat, and resumed their journey back to the city._

* * *

><p><em>The ride back to the city was taking longer than Jane had anticipated and with every second lost she worried about the woman she was trying to help. Maura might not want her around anymore but Jane could at least take care of her now, like she had been taken care of when she had first arrived to the ranch. <em>

_The cart was slowing down and the engine started producing a weird sound. She didn't know what was happening until it was too late. Gas. The machine was out of gas and they still have a few miles to go before they could get to Jane's apartment. She didn't trust anybody else to stop and help them, she only trusted herself to do what had to be done. _

_She was lucky she had been well fed living with Maura, and that while on her own now she was still well fed and strong. She whistled for Jo Friday to hop out of the cart and she picked Maura up as gently as she could. Causing Maura more harm was not what she wanted but she didn't think she had any other alternative to get them into the safety of her own place. Leaving the Toro where it was, somewhat in the middle of the road, she started the long walk with the little dog trotting at her heals. At least Jo Friday seemed to be doing a bit better with the rest she had gotten during the initial drive. Not she just had to get them home._

_She was exhausted when she got into the apartment but she knew she couldn't stop. She had to keep going, Maura's breathing had become more erratic and uneven and Jane was worried that something was more wrong than she could see on the surface. She knew from fighting that sometimes there could be internal injuries that one can't see from the outside and that in those instances the person usually died without help. No! She wouldn't let Maura die, not now. She still had to repay the woman for helping her get some of herself back. _

_With long strides she made it into the bedroom and set Maura on the mattress that was on the floor. Straightening her body out she now realized that the injuries were worse than she had thought. The large gash on Maura's forehead was bleeding profusely and seemed to have been for some time. One of her eyes was swollen shut and she had a split lip, plus other various bruises along her face, neck and arms. One of Maura's ankles was swollen, but the rest of her legs she couldn't see since Maura was wearing jeans. _

_When she heard the pattering of nails on the hard floor she remembered that Jo Friday had come along. With one more glance to Maura she quickly went into the kitchen getting a bowl of water and in another bowl broke apart some leftover turkey from dinner a few days prior. Once the bowls were placed on the floor the little dog was on the turkey in a heartbeat and then drank almost the whole bowl of water. Jane refilled it before going into the bedroom. She didn't think Jo Friday was hurt, she didn't seem to be limping or whimpering and though her fur looked a little singed on one side she didn't appear to be burned. _

_Once in the bedroom she immediately turned back around and returned to the kitchen to get the largest bowl she could find. This time she went straight to the bathroom which was attached to the bedroom and ran some hot water into the bowl, grabbing a small towel while she waited for the bowl to fill. When she returned to the bedroom she had to stop for a moment and think about what she had to do. She needed to get Maura out of her clothes, clean her up a little and into something clean and warm. _

_She went about her task with efficiency making sure to clean every cut and scrape as well as she could. Maneuvering a body that was unresponsive was harder than she had though it would have been, but she did what needed to be done and after a couple of hours Maura looked slightly better, cleaner at least, and she was wearing a pair of Jane's loose pants and a simple t-shirt. _

_Maura still hadn't woken up yet. She hadn't made a sound, not a whimper or a sigh. She didn't know what would happen when Maura woke up. The woman didn't trust her, not really, so maybe it was better to take her somewhere else. Somewhere that could take care of her better. Maura might not trust her but in turn she didn't trust anyone else, she had to take care of her herself. With her decision made to help Maura get better on her own she stood up and went out into the living room to look out the window._

_She couldn't help but think of Than. He would be okay with the authority for a couple of months at least. It took some time before they actually started any kind of training on the new children they collect. Gaining a child's trust and then shattering it in a second usually made good results when creating a Raven. For now all Jane could do was take care of Maura and then maybe Maura would let Jane help her find Than. He could be in any number of facilities that the authority had stashed around the country. He could be anywhere. It was going to take some digging and some time but knew she could find the clues and out them together to bring Than back to Maura. _

_Whistling for Jo Friday again she turned away from the window and settled on the couch to take a much needed nap. After she got up she would need to check on Maura and maybe set some things in motion to see if she could any kind of trace on Than's location. With the dog curled into a ball at her side Jane settled into a restless sleep, one perturbed by nightmares of screaming children, of fire and of hazel eyes that looked at her in terror and fear. _

* * *

><p><em>She didn't know what to do anymore. She had found Maura three days ago and she had yet to wake up. Jane wasn't a doctor; she didn't know what was wrong with Maura. Since she was unconscious she wasn't eating and drinking like she needed to be, and the little bit of water she could get into Maura's mouth usually dribbled out. The large gash on Maura's forehead wouldn't stop bleeding and reopened every time she wiped the still body down with a damp cloth; there was a large lump on the back of her head that she had found the day before as well. She was worried about a small fever that had started but if Maura wasn't awake to take anything then how was she supposed to take care of her? Maura looked so pale and drawn lying on the mattress that was on Jane's floor. So lifeless compared to the bright smiles she normally wore. Jane just didn't know what to do.<em>

_So here she was. Hiding in plain sight in front of the hospital. _

_Looking. _

_Waiting. _

_Watching the doctors and nurses go in and out and the sick people doing the same. She knew what a hospital was. What she needed was a doctor; she had to find a doctor for Maura. She couldn't let her die, not yet. _

_She couldn't stop fidgeting. She needed to find a doctor soon or just go home, go back to Maura and make sure she was still alive. Her eyes shifted to all the people out and about. This was her second day watching and she was getting impatient and anxious._

_There! _

_A woman with short cropped hair had just walked out of the building Jane was looking at intently. She had seen this same woman going into the hospital yesterday, and based on what the woman was wearing Jane was sure she was a doctor of some sort. She had the weird clothes on that were the same color on the top and on the bottom and she had seen numerous other people wearing. She had to be. She followed the woman with her eyes as she crossed the parking lot and came to a car that she couldn't quite see. She had to move now, since she didn't have a car she would have to take the woman and drive the woman's car to her apartment. It was too far too far too walk and she could contain the woman better in a smaller space than on the open street. She didn't want to do this, after living with Maura doing something like this felt wrong when it wasn't in a fighting ring but she had to. _

_She pulled the hood of her jacket up over her head to partially hide her face and the Alpha tattoo while she crossed the open ground to reach the woman. Jane knew the only way to get the woman to comply was to scare her. She had seen how people reacted to her tattoo and she was going to use it to her advantage. _

_Before she reached the woman a second woman and a child exited the same car the doctor was standing at. Jane stumbled a bit in her step, having not expected to deal with more than one person. It was too late now though, she was set on her course and she would follow through. She lost her stride again when she saw the doctor reach out to the second woman to hug her, and then kiss her on the lips. The two women smiled at each other with affection and Jane's stomach twisted in unfamiliar knots. She saw their lips moving and then the child hugged the doctor now, and as they all turned to get back into the car she was upon them._


	22. Chapter 22

Jenny was exhausted. She had just finished a shift in the ER that had lasted close to 30 hours. The whole idea of 24 hours shifts had to be a joke, there was always one more emergency case to roll in right when was ready to leave. She loved her job though. Right now the only thing keeping her going was the thought of her wife Lynn and their 11 year old daughter Natalie picking her up. There were going to go to lunch before dropping Natalie off at a friends' house for a sleepover and then Jenny would have Lynn all to herself for close to 24 hours.

She stepped up to the car and the two most important people in her life stepped out of it. Lynn immediately had her arms around her in a powerful hug which turned into a kiss of I love you; I missed you and everything in between. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Natalie make a face. She chuckled and released her wife so she could hug her daughter.

"You guys ready for lunch? I know I am. I'm starving."

Lynn smiled. "Well hello starving. Where's Jenny?"

Jenny groaned. The joke was bad but she couldn't expect anything else from her wife. She always had been that way.

When Jenny reached for the handle to their Prius a deep voice to her right asked, "Doctor?"

Without looking up at the stranger who had approached she replied, "Yes, but I am sorry I cannot help you right now. If you need medical assistance you need to go inside."

"Help now."

"I'm sorry I can't," she stated finally looking up into the face of the person next to her. Her eyes widened in horror at what she saw. It wasn't the fact that the person was a woman, or wearing a hood to partially cover their face. It was the tattoo she saw at the woman's left eye. While the Authority and Ravens weren't supposed to be real, most knew of their existence from those few stories that are passed around whenever something big happens in the hidden world their government liked to protect.

This wasn't possible however; it wasn't possible for there to be an Alpha and for that Alpha to be out on the street. Where had she come from? With a greater fear twisting her insides Jenny realized she wasn't collared, she was absolutely free to kill.

She started to turn away to tell her family to run, and to run with them, thinking they might have some kind of chance. Then a tanned arm with striking speed grabbed her wrist. She reacted instantly and tried to disarm her attacker from her body but to no avail. She heard her family gasp next to her when she was grabbed. The woman was looking at them now too, and when her wife saw the woman's face she paled and grabbed their daughter hoping to protect her.

No! This couldn't be happening.

She quickly looked to her family. "Run!"

"Jenny!"

"Run Lynn. Take Natalie and run, you have to!" She was starting to panic. If her family didn't run now they all would be dead soon. And if she was lucky she could give them a chance to get away.

"Stop". The voice was deep. The arm gripping her wrist in a vice shook her slightly.

Jenny's head shot back to the woman who gripped her tighter. Jenny started to struggle in earnest, she had to give them time to get away.

The woman growled next. She stopped moving at the intimidating sound. She whimpered.

"Keys?"

Jenny didn't move.

"Keys. Give keys now." The woman had her eyes on Lynn and Natalie. Was she going to go after them first? Was she going to have to watch her family die? "Get in car. Now." Her speech pattern was abnormal but she didn't know if that was because she had some kind of handicap or for some other reason.

"Jenny?" Lynn's voice was quivering in fear. She had her own body between Natalie and the Alpha.

Before Jenny could answer the voice growled again. "Keys!" The hand held out in front of her had long fingers and an abnormal scar at the center of its palm.

It was difficult with her wrist immobilized and how hard she was trembling but she was able to get the set of keys she had out of her back pocket and put them in the hand in front of her. She had been shaking so bad the keys were rattling like crazy.

"Car." Oh god, was the Alpha going to take them somewhere else to kill them? She looked to her family with terrified eyes. Eventually the Alpha got impatient and opened the back door of the car and shoved her inside, closing the door with a hard shove. She tried to scramble to the other side of the back seat to get out of the car but immediately the eyes turned back to her and she stopped her attempt at once.

The Alpha's eyes. They were so dark and so hard, Jenny couldn't move a muscle. She was unmoving like a deer terrified out of its mind when it knows a predator is just in front of it.

When those eyes turned to her family she saw them flick to the car. "Lynn no! Run! You have to run. Take Natalie and get out of here." She was screaming it now.

Lynn ignored her though, she was so damn stubborn, and carefully edged her way around to the far side of the car and got into the back seat, pulling Natalie after her. She did her best to try to cover as much of Natalie as possible. The Alpha nodded her head and got into the driver's seat of the car. It took her a few moments to get the car started and even longer to figure out what she was supposed to do. Jenny filed this information away; she didn't think the woman had ever driven a vehicle before. Within 15 minutes they were moving, and Jenny had no idea if they would come out of this alive.

Whispering softly Lynn tried to talk to Jenny. "Jenny? What are we going to do?"

"Shhh. It will be ok. We'll figure something out for now just do whatever she asks. Maybe we will get out of this alive." Her mind was trying to run through any scenario that they might meet in their immediate future. This was so unexpected and unprecedented that she had to admit to herself she had absolutely no idea what kind of scenario she might need to plan for.

"She's an Alpha, Jenny. How the hell are we supposed to get out of this alive? You've see what they can do yourself. You told me what happened when one got loose and attached people on the street a few years ago. We have all heard of what they can do. She isn't even supposed to exist, she has to be unstable, her kind is supposed to be impossible to create, a lost cause."

"Dammit, I know that," her whisper was forced and sounded more like a hiss. "She's here now though and we need to keep calm and wait this out."

When Natalie whimpered and started crying softly both women forgot about their predicament to comfort their child. All they could do now was wait. Wait and see where the Alpha was taking them and praying to anything and everything that they might escape with their lives

The drive took close to half an hour. When the Alpha stopped the car and turned it off, Jenny saw they were in front of an apartment building. She didn't know what she had expected to see when the car was going to stop but this definitely wasn't it. She jumped when she heard the door slam and realized the Alpha had already left the car.

"Out," she said. Apparently she only spoke one or two word sentences.

With reluctance Jenny got out of the car and got her family out as well, making sure to keep them behind her. The Alpha nodded her heard towards the apartment and Jenny pushed Lynn to take Natalie to go ahead of her. Once inside the building the Alpha went to the elevator and pushed the button. They didn't have to wait long, and with one look from dark eyes they quickly got into the elevator car; pushing themselves into a corner the farthest away from the Alpha as possible.

Jenny had to stifle a laugh as she listened to the traditional elevator music. It was almost as if they were in one of those movies with awkward elevator scenes right before all hell breaks loose. They were past the fifth story now and still going up. When it stopped at eight and the doors opened, they exited before the Alpha could send her penetrating gaze their way. Natalie was still crying and whimpering, and she didn't know what to do to calm her down. Not at this time anyway. They just had to get through whatever was going to happen, which so far while terrifying was not what she had expected.

They were directed toward a door at the end of the hall and when the Alpha pulled out a key to open the door Jenny was shocked to realize that the woman must live in this apartment. How in the hell had an Alpha escaped the authority AND gotten her own apartment? This was ludicrous. Someone must be looking for her somewhere. If they get out of this alive she would be reporting this to the police, this woman should not be free on the streets.

Once inside the Alpha grabbed Lynn by the arm and dragged her over to the sofa, sitting her down. Jenny almost lunged when her wife had been grabbed but had to stop herself, she didn't want the situation to worsen. The Alpha's switch could flip any second and in which case they could all die. She grabbed Natalie herself before the Alpha could and she too went to the couch and sat down.

Apparently that wasn't what the woman who held them hostage wanted though, because almost immediately her arm was grabbed and she was being taken somewhere. No!

"No. Let me go. Please. Please let us go." Lynn immediately jumped up and tried to help her but the Alpha quickly approached Lynn and stared her down, back onto the couch. She glanced to Lynn, she knew her own eyes were wide in fear and tried to smile a comforting smile. Her crying got her nowhere and she was roughly pulled into the only bedroom into the apartment.

Oh god was she going to be raped? She knew it was slightly more uncommon for a rapist to be a woman but it was still a possibility and knew what kind of twisted things the dark woman had been exposed to. Better her than Lynn or Natalie though. She just about collapsed in defeat and despair until she saw the woman on the mattress on the floor. Her feet and legs stopped working and she stopped in her tracks. She looked to the woman beside her who had her arm and then back to the woman on the mattress.

She had already raped someone! This couldn't be happening. They were supposed to go to lunch and then drop Natalie off and she and Lynn were going to spend the rest of the day in bed. Why did it have to all go wrong?

She was shaken out of her thoughts by the deep voice.

"Wh- What?"

"Help Maura." And she was pushed forward towards the woman on the mattress. She didn't understand. She looked to the Alpha again.

"Help Maura." After a pause she added "Please." Well. Now Jenny was dumbfounded. She had to have lost her mind, completely lost her mind. The Alpha wanted her to help someone else. Her pause earned her a growl, deeper and darker than the one that had been uttered in the parking lot of the hospital.

Quickly she strode over to the woman on the mattress and had trouble keeping the gasp from escaping her lips as she knelt down. The poor woman on the mattress had been beaten. It looked to be pretty severe from just a cursory glance.

She forgot her fear and let her anger got the better of her, "Did you do this? Did you hurt her?" She didn't know where to start. "What did you do to her?"

The head of dark hair shook frantically. "Not hurt Maura. Save Maura. Won't wake up." It was said quickly and the Alpha was fidgeting. Jenny could see she was anxious. Something more was going on here, but she wasn't sure what exactly.

"She won't wake up?"

Head shake.

"How long has she been unconscious?" Jenny reached to take the woman's pulse. It wasn't very strong, she frowned. The wound on the woman's forehead was bleeding sluggishly, it needed stitches. She probably needed an IV too, to get some fluids into her. She palpated the woman's abdomen and didn't feel anything out of the ordinary but when she lifted the shirt she saw deep dark bruising over the woman's rib cage. Broken ribs most likely, she laid her head on the woman's chest to listen. She's lucky she didn't have a punctured lung based on her breathing and normal breaths.

"Don't know. Three days least."

She was startled momentarily by the voice. She had been so deep in her thoughts she had let her guard down. "I can help her," she almost saw a smile on the Alpha's face, "but you have to let me go back to the hospital. I-"

"No." The answer was gruff and unrelenting.

"Look. I can help her, but I don't have the supplies. She needs stitches and an IV which I don't have with me. I have to go get the supplies."

The Alpha was thinking. They just stared at each other for a minute.

"Go hospital get supplies. Woman, girl stay here."

Hostages. Her family was to be kept hostage until she got back. She could leave and call the cops but if the Raven really was an Alpha, her family would be dead before SWAT got into the apartment. She looked to blonde woman on the mattress. She looked clean and the small cuts that were no longer bleeding looked clean, so the Alpha must have taken care of her but why? This was the weirdest day of her life.

"Who hurt her?" she questioned the woman before her.

"Authority. Hurt Maura, take Jonathan. Get Maura better, find Jonathan."

Jenny's eyes widened. This woman was the definition of enigma; she was trying to help not hurt. And the idea that the Authority had their hand in this woman's severe beating did not surprise her at all. She made her decision then.

"Okay. I will leave Lynn and Natalie here, and come back with the supplies I need. If you touch them while I am gone there will be hell to pay. Don't you dare lay a finger on them!" She spoke with vehemence and stood up to walk out the bedroom door. She was almost expecting the Alpha to stop her. "Do you have a name?" she asked.

"…"

Jenny waited patiently. This woman may be an Alpha but she also didn't seem to quite know how to handle herself with other people. She wasn't surprised, she was sure socialization was not at the top of the list that went into a Raven's training.

"Jane."

"Ok Jane. Let me tell my family what is going on and then I will leave and come back. As unlikely as it is to happen, I will kill you myself if you touch them."

"No hurt."

Jenny immediately walked into the small living area of the apartment. She saw Lynn stand up quickly when she walked out of her own volition. "Jenny, what's going on?" She went to her and hugged her hard.

"Shhh. It will be alright honey. I need to take the car and go back to the hospital for some supplies. There is a woman in the bedroom that needs my help."

"What about the Alpha? You're going to leave us here alone with her!"  
>"Jane. Her name is Jane and I need you and Natalie to stay here and stay quiet till I can get back okay? I have to leave you here if I want to help the woman. I'm afraid she might die if I don't help. Jane said she won't hurt you and somehow I trust her. Please Lynn you have to trust me too. I won't let anything happen to you." She still hadn't let her wife go. She needed this moment of closeness before she left.<p>

"What woman needs your help? What's wrong?" Lynn laid her head of Jenny's chest. Jenny loved being taller than her wife, it was an odd comfort at this moment.

"It seems the Authority beat the woman, I think Jane, the Alpha, called her Maura. It sounded like the Authority took someone named Jonathan too. I think Jane saved her. But she isn't a doctor obviously and it seemed we were kidnapped so I could help her. It will be alright sweetheart." She kissed Lynn's forehead. "Sit back on the couch with Natalie, there ya go. Natalie honey?" Her daughter was still crying and shaking. She had always been a little more sensitive than other children and this time it was apparent. Jenny crouched to hug her tightly, and hoped that this experience hadn't done too much damage. "I will be back. You can count on it."

Jenny stood up to see the Alpha watching them from the doorway of the bedroom. She nodded her head to Jane and walked out the apartment door. They would be alright. She would trust what her body was telling her about the situation.

* * *

><p>An hour after Jenny had left, Lynn's bladder was about to burst. She had to use the bathroom but she didn't want to leave Natalie alone nor did she want to move her from the couch and take to her the bathroom with her. She had finally calmed down some and didn't want to risk moving her, starting her panic all over again. The Alpha, Jane, Jenny said her name was Jane, hadn't moved from the doorway to the bedroom, only now she was on the floor. She hadn't touched them at all. Jane had only ever touched Jenny and never in an act of violence.<p>

She really had to pee.

"J-Jane?" Her voice was squeaky.

Jane cocked her head to the side looking at her.

"I need to use the restroom. May I go to the bathroom?" She glanced to Natalie who still hadn't moved.

She got a head nod in response, she stood up and walked over to Jane and slowly sidled her way around the woman and into the bedroom to where she assumed the bathroom would be. The dark eyes never left her until she closed the door once she was inside. She had to pray that she wouldn't touch Natalie.

When she reopened the bathroom door she saw the woman lying on a mattress on the floor. When she was closer she saw that Jenny had been right. The woman had been hurt very badly and needed help. Turning back quickly to make her way back to Natalie she didn't see Jane in the doorway anymore. She started to panic and ran back into the living area. Jane was there, standing in front of Natalie and before she could blink an eye Jane had crouched down in front of her, even closer. Her daughter whimpered in fear and tried to mold herself closer to the back of the couch. Lynn was about to rush the woman who dared threaten her daughter when something in the woman's hands caught her eye. She had missed it the first time she was so concerned for her daughter's safety.

A glass of milk and cookies.

She had to stifle a giggle at the scene of a Raven holding a glass of milk and cookies. They were being held out to her daughter and then everyone waited on baited breath. Lynn with a small sense of wonder but still holding onto some dread, Jane with patience and Natalie with so much fear she could barely move. When Jane realized that Natalie wasn't going to reach for a cookie Jane set the plate on top of her knees that she had drawn to her chest, and put the glass of milk on the floor. Lynn watched her walk back into the kitchen; she came back with her own glass of milk and sat on the couch beside Natalie.

Lynn saw her daughter stiffen again, and then stiffen a third time when Jane reached for her own cookie on the plate that was precariously balanced on her daughter's knees. She had to be in the twilight zone. This was the weirdest experience of her life. She just stood there watching the two on the couch. Natalie soon started to relax and tentatively picked up her first cookie, after she had done so Jane reached down for the other glass of milk and handed that to Natalie. After she finished the first she grabbed a second, then a third. After the both of them finished the plate of cookie, Natalie eating two cookies too many for Lynn's liking and finishing their glasses of milk, Natalie fell asleep. When Jane stood she startled, and Jane turned her gaze onto her. Ignoring Lynn she took the dishes from the floor, since there was no coffee table, into the kitchen and proceeded to wash them. When she came back she grabbed a small blanket from a closet by the apartment door and covered the sleeping child with it.

With her task done she walked back towards the bedroom passing Lynn and ignoring her completely to continue her vigil over the woman on the mattress.

Twilight zone indeed.


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry for the delay. Life got in the way.**

The doorknob to the apartment turned slowly and when Jenny walked through the door with her medical bag she saw the look of relief on Lynn's face and heaved her own sigh of relief that at least her wife was alright. She had only taken a couple steps inside when Lynn rushed into her arms; she was almost toppled with the force of the impact and being over balanced on one side by her bag. She saw their daughter sleeping peacefully on the couch with a blanket and couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face.

"Where do you get the blanket for Natalie? Did you ask Jane?"

"No. God Jenny I don't know how she did it but Jane calmed her down with milk and cookies and then covered her herself."

She looked at Lynn with total disbelief on her face. "You have to be joking? What is with this woman? How is she an Alpha? This isn't normal, even for just the standard Raven."

"I don't know honey but she seemed to know what she was doing. You don't think that maybe Jonathan is Maura's child? Maybe that is why she is okay with kids? I can't think of any other reason for a Raven to know anything about a child." Lynn started worrying her lip at her revelation.

"Maybe, but I don't hope you're right because if you are then the authority just kidnapped another child to use for their fights. Oh, I called Amanda and told her that Natalie wasn't feeling well and wouldn't make it to the sleepover. I didn't want them to worry."

"That was a good idea. Did you call anyone else?"

Jenny shook her head, "No. I don't think Jane will hurt us, especially after what you just said happened while I was gone. I am sure she will let us leave when I am finished with Maura. I better go help her. I love you."

Lynn kissed her then. "I love you too."

Jenny walked into the bedroom to find Jane sitting on the floor next to Maura. She perked up when Jenny drew near and set her bag on the floor. "Ok Jane. I am going to do my best to help her. I am worried that she hasn't woken up in such a long time. She must have a severe concussion and without taking her to the hospital I have no way of knowing how severe. It might just take some time."

Jane nodded, "Help Maura."

Jenny smiled, here we go. She worked tirelessly for several hours. She immediately put an IV in Maura's arm to start some fluids, and later some general antibiotics in case Maura was fighting off anything. She didn't think she was, Maura didn't seem to have the kind of fever indicating an infection. She wanted to be sure though. Next she cleaned the cut on Maura's forehead and sutured it so it stopped bleeding, and would heal without such a big scar. Carefully she removed Maura's shirt and pants to do a more thorough inspection of her bones with her hands. She had worried that Jane would stop her but she was pleasantly surprised when the Alpha just calmly watched from the bottom of the bed. It seemed to Jenny that the only broken bones Maura had were the ribs, which she could not do too much about. She would make sure to give Jane a bottle of pain killers, Maura was going to need them when she woke up.

The final and most important inspection that Jenny studied was the very large bump on the back of Maura's head, which she was sure, had caused the concussion and Maura's current chronic state of unconsciousness. She sat back on her heels when she was done.

"That's all I can do Jane. Replace the bag of fluids like I showed you when this one runs out. And just keep an eye on her, especially her breathing. I don't know when, or even if she will wake up. She took a nasty blow to the head and without taking her to the hospital and extra tests to see if there is any serious swelling on her brain I can't say any more than I already have. Make sure to give her some of the pain pills if she wakes up-." She stopped midsentence when she saw the look on Jane's face. "Sorry Jane. When. When she wakes up." She stood up, grabbing her bag and left the room, feeling Jane follow closely behind her.

"Jenny? Are you finished?" Lynn asked her wife.

"Yes hun. I think I am." She turned to Jane. "May we go now Jane? Will you let us leave?"

Jane just looked at her for a few moments. She started to panic internally when Jane didn't respond right away. Eventually Jane nodded her head and Jenny breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ok. Thank you. Come on Lynn, here hold my bag and I'll get Natalie." She picked her daughter up and headed for the door. Jane beat her there and opened it for her. She and Lynn left without another word.

That woman was an enigma wrapped in an enigma. Jenny hoped everything turned out alright for Maura and Jane.

* * *

><p><em>A few hours later, while sitting on the pad on the floor next to Maura, after the doctor and her family had left, Jane had to wonder. She didn't know two women could be together like that. Even when terrified and scared Jane could see the love they felt for each other and their child. She had a fluttering in her stomach whenever she saw them together in the apartment. She felt like she was missing something but she couldn't be sure what it was. She knew nothing about relationships or love. Nothing about commitments or family. She didn't have a family right now and she had been taken from hers so long ago.<em>

_But that wasn't right either. Maybe she did have a family. Maura and Jonathan were her family. Maybe. She never hugged and kissed Maura like that though. Was she supposed to? Jane remembered that there were a number of pictures at the ranch of Maura and another woman. Some with Jonathan and some without. All the pictures were happy ones. Was the other woman Maura's companion the way the doctor had a companion as a woman?_

_She hadn't realized it but she was stroking the hair over Maura's forehead. Thanks to doctor it had finally stopped bleeding when she had tied the skin together. She couldn't lose Maura, not now. Not when she had finally gotten her back after leaving the first time. This time her chest had hurt worse though, she didn't know what she would do if Maura never woke up. She had to wake up. She had to. _

* * *

><p>Maura awoke to light shining into her eyes. She didn't have to move to feel the pain radiating all over her body. Her entire physical self was throbbing. She groaned in discomfort. Trying to blink the spots out of her eyes from the sun she tried to place where she was at. Though her body hurt she felt more comfortable than if she had awoken outside where they had left her. Someone must have carried her inside. She had to close her eyes and breathe shallowly through the pain in her chest, she must have broken ribs too. The pressure in her bladder alerted her to the fact she needed to go to the bathroom.<p>

It hit her then. Like an asteroid crashing to the earth and shattering the fragile existence that lived there.

JONATHAN! Oh god! Where was Jonathan? They had come looking for Jane, but she had been a few months gone by then. And then - . And then what? She couldn't remember everything that had happened. Where was she now though?

"Hello?" Her throat barely made the sound it was so dry. She looked around with her eyes trying to focus more and noticed the IV in her arm. It was then she noticed she was on the floor. On a mattress on the floor where there was a perfectly good bed frame on the other side of the room. The only person she knew to sleep on the floor like that was….

No! Jane was gone, she had left. She wouldn't have come back for Maura. That was absurd. It wasn't Jane.

"Hello?" A little stronger this time, maybe whoever rescued her was near. She heard movement through the doorway, preparing herself for the worst and hoping for the best.

She couldn't believe her eyes. The tall lanky form, the wild hair that was never tamed by a brush, those brown eyes that looked into her own which had stalked her dreams for the last few months. She couldn't take it. It was too much. Her world went black once more.

...

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since Jane had found Maura in the remains of her farmhouse, and only eight days since she had woken up. With what time Jane could spare she looked for Jonathan while taking care of Maura. However things were slightly strained between them. Maura didn't know what to do, how to react about seeing Jane again. Once she had woken up again she had trouble processing everything that had occurred. She had come back, but why? And for how long this time? She hadn't realized how much she might have missed her before she had taken off but when Jane had left, Maura realized something was missing in her life. She didn't understand it but Jane had started to become something more during her initial stay at the farm. What was she thinking? Jane might be doing well for herself but what did she know about relationships? Maura would just have to suffer further in silence.

She hadn't spoken much since she had woken up. She ate and drank whatever Jane brought her, trying not to flinch whenever she got close but she couldn't help it. The beating had taken its toll on her already fragile mind. With Jonathan gone though she couldn't seem to do anything. She felt broken now and dead inside. She felt she had no life left within herself. Maybe Jane shouldn't have saved her. Maybe it would have been better to die. She sighed and looked out the window. It was all she could seem to do these last few days. She knew Jane was worried, she could see it, which was unusual because Maura didn't think Jane cared that much, if she had then why had she left? But why would Jane have saved her if she didn't care? She was so confused.

Maura's thoughts wouldn't stop turning over on themselves. She sank further and further into herself, losing sight of the light that had always previously kept her happy. She was drifting now. Drifting along and endless sea with no hope of rescue.

* * *

><p><em>Maura's was still healing. Jane had been out searching for clues about Jonathan's location but so far she hadn't found anything. Not a single bit of information from the street or the web could help locate where they had taken Jonathan. They were both exhausted, Jane from the search and Maura from her healing body and depression. It was no surprise that they turned in early after another disappointing day. Jane had been making Maura sleep on the mattress while she herself slept on the ratty sofa she had bought second hand, or maybe it was third by the looks of it.<em>

_Jane didn't know what had possessed her to but when knew Maura was asleep she stole into the bedroom and just stood there watching her. She had taken to doing it while Maura was unconscious and she couldn't seem to stop. It was a small comfort since Maura seemed to flinch away from her whenever she was near. _

_She saw her awaken with a start some moments later. When Maura flinched and cringed away from her she had all the information she needed to truly understand. Maura still didn't trust her. Not really and maybe she never did. Maybe it was her own fault for staring at the woman while she slept, for being who she was or for leaving but she couldn't help it. Something kept pulling her to the honey-blonde woman morning, noon and night. And it seemed night was the only time she truly got to watch her in a relaxed state. _

_After witnessing Maura pull away Jane felt herself go a little dead inside. She forced herself not to let a tear fall. Hunching her shoulders she left the room and walked back to the couch. To her loneliness and isolation that were becoming more and more a burden once again. Once she had sat down she leaned back and closed her eyes. Trying to will away all the thoughts in her head so she might be able to get some sleep. _

* * *

><p>Maura immediately regretted her body's instant reaction. She saw the light die, what little there was, in Jane's eyes. She was already out of the room before Maura could process any further. Once she realized she was alone again she began to wage a war within herself about what she should do. Should she stay in here and ignore what just happened? Go try and talk to Jane? Maybe she should explain it wasn't her she was cringing away from, it was just a reaction based upon the beating she had taken two weeks before.<p>

She knew she had missed her. Life at the farm after she left wasn't the same. Jonathan was more combative and frequently refused to listen. She was unhappy and lonely, even if most of their conversations had been one sided. Maybe Jane missed her too? But that was a ridiculous thought, her kind, and especially an Alpha had no emotions. They were docile when collard, but being a killer was the end game. However there had never been a surviving Alpha before. None like Jane anyway. God what should she do? She was lonely and didn't want to be alone any longer.

Her legs, and thus her brain, made the decision for her. She got out of the bed and walked slowly into the living room where she saw Jane seated on the couch, head tilted back with her eyes closed. From Maura's current angle she looked amazing. So skinny, but toned with muscle from top to bottom. And those raven locks, so like the name the authority gave her tumbling down every which way.

Again her body moved of its own accord and she walked up behind the couch, making noise so that Jane knew she was there. She lightly touched her shoulder and when Jane's dark eyes opened Maura had to hold back a gasp at the loneliness and loss that she saw there. She hadn't realized before how isolated and alone Jane must have felt since they first met but she saw it now. Walking to the front of the couch she never took her eyes off of the dark haired beauty. She stood in front of her, reached down and grabbed ahold of Jane's hand, reminiscing at the fact only she could touch them. She pulled lightly to get her to stand up. Once she had done so and they were both just staring at each other, Maura's other hand lightly traced the symbol of Alpha of Jane's left cheek. Without saying a word she pulled the Alpha after her towards the bedroom.

Once there she crawled onto the mattress never letting go of Jane's hand. She pulled her onto the mattress with her and under the covers. Jane was stiff and despondent though, uncomfortable. After a moment's hesitation she scooted closer to her companion and wrapped her arms around her waist, laying her head on a thin shoulder (a too thin shoulder). Her emotions were all over the place, but when she felt the arm tentatively come around her body to hold her in a gentle embrace she fell into a peaceful sleep. Not once since Cameron had died had she felt so safe and protected. And it was all because of Jane.


	24. Chapter 24

**Sorry for being MIA. I wasn't feeling the urge to write, for some reason this chapter did not want to come willingly. I did my best not to force it which is why it took so long. Short chapter. Enjoy!**

Jane?" Maura walked out of the empty bedroom after awakening to find Jane wasn't in bed with her anymore. "Jane?" She didn't see her anywhere, and it wasn't like Maura could have lost her in the apartment. It was quite small. She sighed in resignation after a few moments. It seemed that Jane had slipped out early again to try and find information of where Jonathan might be.

She just didn't know what to do. The depression was still there, she could feel it. It always seemed to creep back to the front of her mind whenever Jane wasn't around. For whatever reason Jane made her feel better, even in these horrible circumstances.

Knowing she had to keep busy or else be sucked back into the endless void of sadness and grief so she slowly started to clean up the apartment a little bit. It had been another week and a half since that first night that Jane slept next to her in the bed. She was still mending, her ribs were still very tender and she had to be careful but she needed to keep moving.

It didn't take long for the cleaning to be finished, nor did it take long to make herself something to eat. She sat alone at the small dining table, just like every morning for the last week, trying to eat her meal without breaking down in tears. It was especially hard today. She wasn't sure why. Maybe she was coming to realize that she will never see Jonathan again. That he was gone and there was nothing she could do to get him back. She pushed her plate away with her meal only half eaten.

Not knowing how long she had sat at the table she was startled when an olive skinned hand pushed the plate back in front of her. She looked up in surprise to see Jane standing over her with a sheepish look on her face.

"Eat. Have to eat." Jane crouched next to Maura and with a slightly trembling hand moved a curl of blonde hair away from Maura's forehead.

Maura crinkled her forehead in confusion, "You're back early."

Neither woman moved.

"No looking today. Went shopping."

It was then that Maura noticed the bags on the floor next to Jane's crouched form. She looked at Jane again and was pleased to see clear eyes looking back at her. Every night that Jane had returned with no new information, and the occasional bruise and scrape Maura had noticed how clouded Jane's eyes had been. But not now, now they were looking at Maura with a tenderness that was slightly unnerving coming from the Alpha. It was a new look for Jane. It was a look that Maura didn't know what to do with.

Jane pushed the plate even closer to Maura. "Eat Maura."

Maura looked at her partially eaten sandwich on her plate, picked it up and deliberately took a bite staring at Jane. "We have to wait now." Jane was still crouched next to her.

She quickly chewed and swallowed her bite. "What do you mean Jane? Did you hear something? Is it Jonathan? What is it?!" The sandwich was forgotten again as her anxiety increased due to Jane's cryptic words.

"No. Haven't heard about Jonathan. Made a phone call."

Maura was really confused now. Jane didn't know anyone. Not really. Who could she have called?

"Jane, who did you call? What's going on?"

Jane shook her head. "Have to wait Maura. Don't want to say anything. Not yet. Have to wait."

"Please Jane." She was pleading now. This was the first time something had happened in the search since she had woken up a few weeks ago. "Tell me! What's going on?"

Jane didn't say anything for a minute. Maura's breathing was getting slightly more erratic as Jane's silence continued.

Taking a deep breath Jane laid her right hand on Maura's arm. "Will you-." Jane stopped speaking for a moment more. "Will you trust Jane?" The words were spoken so quietly that Maura wasn't sure she had actually heard them.

Trust. It was one of the things that had thrown them into this mess. Maura's feelings of distrust towards the Alpha. Toward the woman that now had started running herself ragged trying to find Jonathan. The woman that had done what she needed to do to make sure Maura had healed from the terrible incident at the ranch. Could she trust Jane? Did she really have a choice?

Her prolonged silence was becoming unsettling to Jane. She could see it. And still she couldn't answer. The clear brown eyes in front of her dimmed once again, and became cloudy, this time with pain. Before she could speak Jane had stood up and walked into the bedroom closing the door behind her, leaving all the groceries on the floor and Maura sitting alone at the dining table. Again.

…..

Not too many minutes later, after finishing her sandwich and putting all the groceries away Maura stood in front of the closed door to the bedroom. While eating and organizing the food in the kitchen she had let her mind wander, let herself really stop and think about what trusting Jane meant. If she was honest with herself she had always trusted Jane. It was a revelation, a shocking one, to realize that it was herself she didn't trust. It had always been herself.

Since Cameron had died she hadn't let anyone in, and Jane somehow easily slid her way into Maura's heart and she didn't know what to do. The feelings she was having for the brunette overwhelmed her and she turned her mistrust of herself onto the closest thing to her.

Jane.

Oh god, she didn't know what to do. She knew this feeling, it was the same one that happened after Cameron and her had been dating for quite a while. She was falling. Falling so hard for someone she was sure would never feel the same way. So she had done the only thing she could. She pushed the tall, imposing, magnificent woman away hoping the feelings would go with her. They hadn't. And here she was standing outside a closed door trying to figure out what she was going to do. What she was going to say.

Taking a deep breath she decided to bite the bullet. She opened the door.

What she found inside was not what she had expected. Jane was curled up into a tight ball in the corner of the room. As Maura walked closer she saw the tears tracking down Jane's face. She was eerily silent in her crying. There was no sobs, or fights for breath. Just the quite tears.

Her usually expressive eyes were dead to the world. Their luster was gone and it was replaced with a haze that no person could see through. Her eyes weren't focused and didn't seem to register that Maura had come into the room.

Maura's hands came up to her mouth as she felt the despair that seemed to have enveloped the woman in front of her. "Oh Jane." She stepped closer and closer. Crouching down in front of the woman and she tried to take Jane's hands in her own. They were immediately taken to be held close to the tortured soul sitting without any other movement.

"Jane. I am so sorry. Come back. Please." There was no response.

Maura tightened her jaw and throwing caution to the wind lunged forward wrapping her arms around the woman who seemed so small in her misery. She struggled briefly, but Maura just held her tighter.

"I do trust you Jane. I do. I sweat it. I- I just never trusted myself and I tried to push that on you. I was wrong, I was so wrong Jane. I trust you so much it hurts sometimes."

The body in her grip started trembling, and with the trembling finally came the sobs. They were quiet at first, but as they grew in intensity Maura realized that this break down wasn't just for the incident in the kitchen, or the one of the ranch. It was for everything that had happened to Jane in her life. For all the torture and abuse she suffered, without any comfort. For all the fear and violence that had become a part of her soul. Maura started whispering small nothings as she gently rocked them back and forth. It took some time, but eventually Jane calmed down enough that Maura thought she could pull away. As soon as she did so Jane wrapped herself around Maura's smaller frame.

"No. Stay."

"Ok Jane. I won't go anywhere. Can we sit on the bed? Please. This floor is doing nothing for my ribs right now."

As if they were magic words, Maura's discomfort, Jane's head shot up and she immediately pulled Maura with her to settle on the mattress. Once they were lying down their roles were reversed for the first time. Jane snuggled into Maura's front and eventually she relaxed and fell asleep, Maura never stopped holding her. Soon sleep took her as well.

…..

Maura was startled away by a noise. When she didn't hear it again she closed her eyes to go back to sleep. As soon as her eyes closed the noise came again. It took a moment but when the noise didn't cease she realized it was someone banging on their apartment door. Gently, so as to not wake Jane, she disentangled herself from the Alpha's grip making sure to cover her back up and giving her a pillow to hold onto in her place.

When she went into the living room she realized that it was dark outside. It seemed her and Jane had slept the day away after the emotional outburst that morning. The knocking was still very insistent at the door. She padded her way over to it and without thinking about who may be on the other side she opened it, still trying to rub some of the sleep from her eyes.

"Hey Maura"

That voice. She had only heard it for a day but Maura prided herself on not forgetting people or places. She looked up and blinked her eyes a few times to try and clear them further.

"Detective Frost?"

**Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! I am so please that everyone is enjoying this.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Short chapter. It was really hard to get this one out. Hopefully the wall blocking my muse is gone. I am pretty sure how I will play the rest of this tale, but no guarantee that I will post frequently. *insert evil laugh here* I have a busy two month ahead with work and family visits back home. Enjoy!**

He was smiling at her gently. And while she was too shocked to speak her body automatically allowed him into the apartment, gently closing the door behind him. Her sleep addled brain was still trying to process that the _detective_ was in their apartment. Just what was he doing there? They were states away from Boston. How did he know their address?

"Det-" She couldn't get the word out at first, her voice still scratchy from sleep and the day's earlier events. Her second try was more successful, "Detective Frost why are you here?"

"Jane didn't tell you?"

"Jane? No she didn't tell me anything."

"Is she here? I expected her to open the door considering she is the one who called me."

"Jane called you? When?" She glanced toward the bedroom where the object of their discussion lay sleeping.

"Yea. She called me early this morning. Said she needed my help with something. She didn't give me much of an explanation, but I have a feeling it's because she didn't know how to tell me. I know she doesn't talk a lot," he rubbed the back of his neck as he talked. Looking around the small space they were standing in he was surprised to see bare furnishings.

"She gave me your address and I got on the first plane out here. Is everything alright?"

She looked at Detective Frost aghast. Jane had called him to come help? She couldn't believe that Jane had willingly called someone else to help, not to mention the Detective that almost had her sent back the Authority.

"Are you sure it was Jane? I am sorry Detective Frost-"

"Barry. Call me Barry."

"Barry. I am sorry for seeming so confused; I just hadn't realized Jane had your number. Nor had she given me any reason to think that she would call you."

"She didn't tell you she called me? Oh, I had assumed you knew. What's wrong Maura? She had to have called me for a reason?"

After he asked the question a second time Maura couldn't help the tears falling from her eyes. She was still depressed with the loss of her son, but she was also so incredibly happy that Jane had called him for help. It was obvious that Jane wasn't getting anywhere with her approach to finding Jonathan.

Barry's face took on a stricken look. He did not know what to do. He barely knew the woman in front of him; he wasn't comfortable trying to extend any comfort. It didn't matter though. As though the sounds of Maura's sobs were a whistle calling a dog Jane came tearing out of what looked to be the bedroom and immediately took Maura in her arms.

When Maura felt the strong arms encircle her smaller frame she immediately latched onto the source of comfort and valiantly tried to calm her emotions and her breathing. She smiled and nuzzled closer into the chest her face was pressed against.

"I'm alright Jane," she mumbled. "I just hadn't expected Barry to arrive. Why didn't you tell me you called him?"

With a sheepish look Jane easily replied, "Did tell you. Said I made a phone call."

"I guess you did. Why didn't you tell me you called Barry though?"

Jane pulled away from Maura and started twisting her hands together, "Scared."

"Scared of what sweetheart?" The endearment slipped right out of her mouth, she refused to take it back though. It seemed to fit the moment and her new discovered feelings.

"I can't find him. Scared you would leave."

"Oh Jane! No. No no no. I wouldn't have left, I won't leave! I'm staying right here. I know you are trying so hard to find him. And you calling Barry just shows me how much you care. It's ok Jane. I promise it's ok." Maura rubbed Jane's arms for a few seconds before taking her hands and splitting them apart so they stopped rubbing together. After a moment a slight cough redirected her attention.

Jane looked up and smiled. Maura saw Barry smile back at her.

"So Maura, since Jane couldn't seem to find the words to explain to me what is going on and what help you need, maybe I could trouble you for a coffee and a story?"

"Yes Barry." Still holding one of Jane's hands, her thumb rubbing scarred flesh, she looked at Jane and smiled. "I think Jane and I can do that. Please sit down. This might take a little bit of time."

…..

"I don't know what I can do to help Maura. This is way out of my league. I just happened to be at the right place at the right time with the incident in Boston. Normally I take care of all the technology bits on cases. I am sure I can try to look some information up through the police database, but I worry about triggering anything. I hate to say it but I think the incident in Boston is how they found you in Kentucky."

Maura saw Barry frown. She had had such high hopes for when he showed up. Now she didn't know what to do again. If what Barry said was true and the incident in Boston had led them to Maura's ranch in Kentucky then there was no telling what could happen this time if Barry tried to dig deeper. She was sure digging would throw up more red flags than concealing.

Maura looked at Jane. She was slightly startled to see a gleam in her eyes. Barry's pronouncement did not seem to detour her spirits any.

"What is it Jane?"

"Have an idea." Looking to Barry, "Maura won't like it. Have to keep her safe. WILL find Jonathan though."

"What do you mean I won't like it? Jane what are you thinking?"

Looking to Barry, "Can get tracker? Small?"

Startled Barry nodded. "Yes, I can. But what for? I would have to fly back to Boston to get though. I wouldn't be back for a couple of days."

Jane nodded. Taking a breath she looked at Maura with sad eyes.

"Have to go back Maura. I have to go back to Authority. Need to be caught and taken back."

"NO!" It exploded from Maura mouth with such forcefulness she was surprised she hadn't knocked Jane down with her words alone. "You can't! I just got you back Jane. You can't leave me again. You could die!"

Jane shook her head. "Have to Maura. Jonathan smart, they make him an Alpha. They take me to him I can save him."

Maura's horrified expression at the thought of her son being made into the male version of Jane filled her with such revulsion that she bolted from the living room to the bathroom. She dry heaved into the toilet for a few minutes before she calm down enough to stand without falling.

Jane was there immediately, having followed her from the living room.

"He's fine Maura. They won't hurt him for a while. Took months before they hurt me. I have to go, I have to get him back." It was the most Maura had ever heard of Jane's time with the Authority.

"But Jane, they will collar you again. They'll make you- they'll make you.." She couldn't finish the sentence. It was too horrifying. Jane had made it such a long way since Maura had taken her in. She didn't want the Jane standing in front of her now to disappear, whether physically or emotionally.

"I promised I wouldn't leave you Jane. And now, now you're leaving me instead. You can't do this! Please!"

"Will be fine Maura. I have you now, I have to come back." Jane said this sheepishly, like she was nervous of her admission to Maura. "Will remember you, and will not go back to how I was before. Promise."

Maura heaved a very big sigh and stepped closer to Jane. She could see the wariness on Jane's face as she got closer. With one last step she brought her arms around Jane and hugged her tightly. Smelling her and remembering everything she could of this moment.

"You have to come back Jane. I wouldn't survive if I lost you and Jonathan both."

Jane hummed in contentment. "Promise".


	26. Chapter 26

**I had a stroke of inspiration while I was brushing my teeth last night. This chapter was the result. Enjoy.**

Maura hated the plan. She absolutely hated it like she had never hated anything else before. She was worried she wasn't strong enough for this emotional roller coaster. Her emotions and social interactions with those around her had always been a little stunted due to how she grew up. It was only when she had met Cameron all those years ago that she had been able to learn how to socialize. Some of that had diminished when Cameron had died, but it all had returned full force when Jane arrived and now, now it was these emotions that were targeting her with a vengeance. She loved Cameron. She wanted to grow old with her and live the best life she could. Living with Jane though was something different, something entirely out of her capacity to name in the emotions she felt. Especially at this moment when she had to say good-bye, if albeit for a short time, to the person she realized might truly be her other half.

They were near the edge of town, all of them. Frost Jane and Maura, all of them seconds away from putting the plan into motion. All Maura could think about was losing herself again, the way she had when Cameron was about to die. She remembered turning everything off one switch at a time as Cameron worsened with her disease. She didn't want her emotion to turn off again now that she had gotten them back.

"Are we ready?" Detective Frost asked both women in front of him.

Maura nodded silently. Jane nodded with an expression of determination in her eyes.

"When I make the call, Maura and I will need to move out of this area as fast as we can." Detective was looking at Jane, "We don't want to be seen as in connection with you. That might make things worse down the line when we need to get into some of the fights to get back in contact with you."

What?! They wouldn't be near when Jane was collared again? She didn't remember that part of the plan.

Her face must have said it all to Jane, who stepped closer to Maura and put an arm around her waist tentatively.

"Don't want you here Maura. Can't think right when you're here. Have to think right if I'm going to do this without losing myself." Maura was crying now, and Jane was alarmed at the amount of tears that were falling from her eyes. "Maura," it was said with a whisper and spoken as Jane noticed Frost walking a couple steps away to give them a last moment.

All Maura could do was whimper while Jane brought her other arm around Maura's waist. Immediately when Jane tried to pull away for fear that the whimper was directed at her and not the situation Maura stilled her movement with an iron hand to back of Jane's neck. "Stay".

Jane shook her head, "Can't. Have to get Jonathan."

Maura sighed in resignation and leaned her forehead again the Jane's chest. She just needed a moment. One more moment to breathe this woman in so she wouldn't forget. Here she was, a woman with her child taken by the monsters of the Authority and all she could do was cling to the woman in front of her like a child herself. All she wanted was to disappear forever with Jane and to never look back.

The skin her forehead was leaning against was warm. It felt nice and safe. Without much thought to her actions she kissed the skin on Jane's chest, just above the low neckline of the shirt she was wearing. She felt Jane jump slightly in surprise, and worried that she would pull away Maura tightened her grip on the back of Jane's neck. She took a deep breath and looked up into surprised and inquisitive brown eyes. Eyes which were no longer hard with hatred and fear for her surroundings. Eyes that were staring into her very soul.

* * *

><p><em> She felt full of an emotion in her chest that she couldn't identify. This small woman in front of her surprised her constantly and made her happier than she could ever remember being. Even before she had been taken. <em>

_ Happy. Maybe that was it. She was full of such happiness that it felt like it was going to burst from her chest any moment. Maura's body in her arms felt nice and Maura's lips on her chest had felt amazing. She had to remember this woman when they took her again. She had to. _

_ She remembered the women and child she had taken from the hospital parking lot when Maura was badly hurt and she wondered if Maura and she could be like them. Would Maura let them all live together with Jonathan? Could she finally have a real home? _

_ Throwing caution to the wind, cause now was not the time to submit with passivity; she slowly lowered her head until she was but a couple inches from Maura's face. Maura's eyes were large and round, shifting back and forth on Jane's face. They were also wet with unshed tears. Taking a cue from the women that had spent the day in her apartment she leaned in those last few inches. _

_ Gently, almost as if the action hadn't actually occurred she brushed her own lips across Maura's. She ghosted them over Maura's lips so smoothly and gently it was almost as if the kiss hadn't occurred at all. As soon as she looked into Maura's eyes again she saw shock and maybe a little fear. _

_ It was the fear that got to her. She might not be the raging killer she used to be but she knew she was still dangerous. She knew the look of fear that she had constantly put into other people's eyes. She remembered the look of fear in Maura's eyes the first time she didn't have the collar on. _

_ Never before had fear from others make her chest hurt the way it did now. Maura wasn't moving. She was just standing there, and then she felt Maura tremble a bit. Her chest hurt so bad she felt like she was being cleaved in to. It wouldn't matter how happy she was. She would never get the life she wanted, not with her past. And the look on Maura's face right now was proof. Maura may have claimed to trust her, but she apparently still feared her as well. She should have known this would happen. She knew better than to think things could change for the better, her time with the Authority had taught her that well._

_ She had hoped that the events that had occurred in the apartment the last couple of days between them were proof that everything was going to be all right. She knew better than to hope. With a pull of her body she removed herself from Maura's grip. Walking away past Frost, who had his own look of shock on his face, she gruffly voiced some words. "Call em. Take Maura and go." _

_ She walked away from them both, farther towards the edge of town. She didn't hear Maura yelling her name, or Frost forcibly holding Maura back while he anonymously called in the sighting of a Raven on the edge of town. She didn't hear the pain in Maura's voice as she walked away. She would get Jonathan for Maura and then go. Go for good this time, and maybe she would just stay with the Authority. It was obvious by all this that it was the only thing she was good at. She blocked out the sounds around her and prepared herself, for now it was a waiting game. It wouldn't take long for the Authority to come and claim their most prized possession. It wouldn't be long before she was doing what she did best. Put fear in people. Just like the fear in Maura._

* * *

><p><em>It didn't take long. She knew it wouldn't have. They came quickly, around a corner in fast cars with one transport van. Her transport van. She was sure that they would take her to retraining for a bit. She had been gone from their captivity for quite a while and they would want to make sure their product would do its purpose. She didn't tell Maura this part, the part where she would hurt and bleed, the part where the Authority just might take the memories of the last few months from her mind with pain. She would need to remember to not speak, that would make it worse. The only consolation she had was the fact they would take her to the same facility Jonathan would be at, she was sure they would. <em>

_ They were always trying to make Alpha's. And since she was such a success, they would try again the using the same method they developed with her. She just had to hope the time outside her prison of pain and death was enough that some part of her would bury the memories and retain then until they were needed again. _

_ They were out of their vehicles now, she saw them coming at her and she turned it all off. All the feelings, all the memories, all of who she really was. She turned it off and she became The Alpha. _

_ She fought them, they would have expected it. She fought them hard and had a number of contusions and bruises for her troubles before they could dart her. She felt the solution moving through her body, the listlessness of it and the confusing feeling of not being in control when for the first time in years she had it herself. When she collapsed to the concrete, aware but unmoving, she saw their heavy booted feet come to her fast. Before she knew it she was cuffed and shackled, hooded and deafened. And then it came. _

_The collar. She felt the leather and cold metal go around her neck, and felt rather than heard the click as it was locked into place. She immediately felt her mind calm. She knew this, she was familiar with this. She lay there, tethered to the bottom of the van in a void of hazy nothingness, trying to remember something that was important. She couldn't grasp it though, so she let it go. She let them take her, she let them have her. They were her masters, and she was theirs to with as they pleased. She fell asleep not long after the van started moving. _

**I know. These two ladies, I tell ya. I promise the story will end positively, though I honestly don't know how far away that will be. I have no idea how long this story is going to be. The good stuff is coming now, the stuff you all have been waiting for.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Oh my god guys. I finally got this chapter out. It sat half completed forever! Thanks for the well wishes. Sorry for any grammer mistakes. Hopefully nothing is too obvious. Longer A/N at the bottom. **

_It took her a few moments to reorient herself. She could still feel the drugs coursing through her system, moving sluggishly, taking their sweet time. She knew better than to try and stand, for she would only end right back where was currently lying. The mat she felt against her back was thin. So thin she could feel the cold of the concrete seeping through it, and up into her own body. She did not miss this feeling. Though the mat on the floor at Maura's was also thin, it was warm too. She felt comfortable there. She halted mid thought._

_ Maura._

_ She remembered her. Thinking back, her brain taking it's time due to the sedative, she was surprised she remembered. The collar was a tool that the Authority had devised to remove all thought and emotion. A tool that makes the wearer obey and nothing else. This was new territory for her, never before had she been able to wear the collar and still think coherently. As she lay on the floor her thoughts came back to her faster and faster, her thoughts and memories about life before and during her stay at Maura's ranch. Here was the after, where she promised to find Jonathan and return him to his mother. _

_ Feeling well enough to sit up, she slowly rose into a sitting position, and opened her eyes to see where they had placed her this time. She was sure after her escape a number of months ago they would be watching her very closely, and they would have her locked very far away from any kind of escape. She was too valuable. _

_ After a quick glance around she immediately recognized where she was. A holding cell. Just a simple holding cell until they decided what they wanted to do to her and thus where to move her. Having no idea how long she had been in the simple concrete room she did not how long it would be before they came for her. It was no matter. She was used to waiting, getting back into the old routine of her life with the Authority would be no bother, though now that she was more aware and not in a constant state of fright she wondered what it would really be like. _

_ While stretching her neck she noticed a new addition to this cell. There was a camera mounted in one of the corners of the room, nearly touching the ceiling. They were watching her. It was no surprise. She just made sure that she acted no different than before Marua had put her true self within. She would sit here and wait. And when the door opened opposite where she sat she would scuttle into a corner and cower in apparent fear. She would watch, she would learn, and she would get Jonathan back at any cost._

* * *

><p><em> By her estimate it was only a couple hours later that someone came for her. She heard the latch on the outside of the door release and as soon as the door began to open she moved her way into a corner, her face clouding with a look of fear as she observed. There were multiple men outside; she was pretty sure they were men. Sometimes it could be hard to tell with all the gear they wore. The helmets, face shields, vests and even riot shields seemed a little excessive to her. Even collared they were terrified of her, she grinned on the inside knowing later she might be able to use that to her advantage. The geared men made their way inside her cell, circling around her, two stepped forward and grabbed her by her upper arms. She went willingly, pretending to be docile and agreeable, which should have been expected from her. <em>

_Soon a woman walked through the doorway, passed some of the men and stood in front of her. She was wearing a white coat over her clothing that reached mid-thigh and had a name tag that read 'Dr. Weller'. This was a curious thing; she had never been visited directly by one of the Authority's doctor's before. Normally from her recollections that she had been able to piece together a bit they were always on the outside looking in. They never came into direct contact with the Ravens. She certainly had them worried then._

_Her chin was taken by a cold, long fingered hand, "Well," her head was turned left and right, "you certainly don't seem to be malnourished for how long were missing. That is a very interesting finding. I can't imagine you were smart enough to feed and take care of yourself. Though you are our Alpha, who knows what your true potential could actually be. You're still young, there is plenty we could still teach you." _

_When her chin was released she had to fight against wanting to wipe her face with her sleeve. The woman's touch alone was enough to want to take a bath, or three._

"_Bring her this way gentleman. We have a few things to do before she goes back to the stables."_

_She was pulled forward, and had to walk quickly or risk being dragged down the corridor. While keeping her head down, and acting the perfect submissive she kept her eyes open and looked at anything she could. Committing hallways and turns to her memory was slightly more difficult but she managed. _

_When they had turned into a fourth hallway they eventually stopped at a closed door. The doctor took out a plastic card from her pocket and passed it in front of the door's handle. She heard a soft click, and the doctor promptly opened the door. Once inside the men who had her arms walked her to a table that had restraints attached to it._

"_Put her in. She might be agreeable but I do not believe she will like this part of her day."_

_It was hard to resist fighting back. After finding her freedom with Maura she didn't want to be a prisoner, a slave to these people ever again. A flash of Jonathan's face in her mind steeled her resolve to keep up the act. She willingly let the men lay her down on the table and when they tried to wrap her ankles, and wrists in cuffs she fought them just slightly. It was enough to be a normal reaction to something different. In all her time at the Authority she could honestly never remember being strapped to a table in this manner. They also placed a strap over her forehead for which she could figure out no reason. She would just have to wait._

"_That will be all. You may leave." All but one man filed out of the room._

"_Ma'am I have been ordered to stay in visual sight of the Alpha until she is secured in the stables. They do not want a repeat performance of a few months ago."_

_Shooting an annoyed look to the man and glancing at his nametag she informed him, "I understand Mr. Ellis, however you being in this room with only make the situation worse. You may stand outside the door and lock us in if you need to but I honestly can't see her trying to escape like last time. Besides being strapped down she is collared. Her escape a few months ago, as I understand it was before they could collar her properly. I will knock on the door when we are done. This should only take about 30 minutes."_

_Ellis had heard stories of this woman. She was not to be trifled with on a good day, and on a bad, he shuddered just thinking about it. He liked having his balls right where they were. "I will be right outside."_

"_Good choice Mr. Ellis."_

_Once he had left the room Dr. Weller closed the door and turned towards Jane. "Let's get started shall we?"_

_It was hard to see what the doctor was doing on the other side of the room since her head was strapped into a single position. She heard small noises and clanks of metal on metal and the snapping of gloves. Soon enough the doctor rolled a cart over to her left side along with a small stool._

"_This will only take a moment". Those were the only words she spoke. This one was not at all talkative._

_Jane heard a whine fill the air before she finally saw the doctor out of the corner of her left eye. She was bring an instrument similar to a writing tool but bulkier. It was making the whine._

_She felt it then. A sharp pain to her cheek. It took only 15 minutes and then the doctor was done. She rolled herself and the tray back across the room. The snapping of gloves was heard again, more clanking. _

_She was calm through the whole procedure, though she still had no idea what had just occurred to her face. Her cheek still stung. She watched and listened closely. The shuffling of the doctor stopped for a moment before she was before Jane again. She had a large needle this time. Tensing from uneasiness, though she was sure the doctor would think it was from fear, she worried what was next. _

"_Just a little something to make sure we don't lose you again. We're going to need to keep all of you monitored very closely." _

_The pain to the side of her neck hurt worse than the stinging on her cheek. It was over quickly but the area was very tender, even without her moving. She heard the doctor drop the needle on the tray she had used earlier and saw her cross the room again to knock on the door. _

_The door opened and man identified as Mr. Ellis moved in quickly, motioned with his arm and then the guard team was surrounding her again. The reverse of what had happened just a half hour earlier occurred. She was released from her restraints, walked back to her cell and released. Keeping her character was getting harder as she was curious as to what the doctor had done to her._

"_I will need your team again tomorrow Mr. Ellis to transport her to the stables. Be here at 8AM sharp."_

"_Yes, Ma'am." He turned and walked back out the door but didn't walk away before he was handed a metal tray that he slid across the flood._

_She just looked at it. _

_The door shut and almost forgetting that she was being watched on the camera she slowly moved towards the tray lifting it up a few inched. She didn't recognize what was on it. She supposed it was the standard fare of food, that while barely edible, and actually very nutritious had much to be desired in its looks. She ate it quickly, trying to ignore the taste and wishing she had a glass of orange juice to go with it. _

_Noticing her reflection in the shiny surface of the metal tray she brought it up to her face and looked at her left cheek. A tiny 1, had been added to right of the already existing A. _

* * *

><p>It had only been three days but Maura was a nervous wreck. She had no idea how long they were going to have to wait. She had no idea if Jane was even still alive. Barry did the best he could, but he could only do so much before he was annoying Maura more than comforting her. At the moment he had left the apartment that she and Jane had shared to go get them some food. It seemed all she could do was think, sleep, and eat. She felt useless, because she knew she was. This entire plan hinged on Jane and praying that Jane would not revert to her old self once inside the Authority's compound. How was Jane even going to contact them? For Maura this was a nightmare, a living nightmare that for now she could see no hope of waking from. She dozed off while waiting for Barry to return. She dozed straight into a dream, a memory.<p>

**The muse had left me for a time, by which point I had some bad news about someone in the family. Then coming back from dealing with that I have developed the weirdest cases of hives and the dermatologist has no idea what keeps triggering them. I am taking some allergy meds, and drowning in calamine lotion at the moment. If nothing changes in the next couple weeks it's off to the allergist. Unfortunately I think it's something from work. I work as an Animal Diet Tech for a zoo and there are so many things I come in contact with there is no way I could never pinpoint anything specific. Oh well. I have no idea when the next chapter will be out. Rest assured I am always thinking about it. And I have notes. It's the filling in that has gotten hard.**


	28. Chapter 28

_It had been after Maura had purposefully uncollared Jane that first time. After Jane had ran and disappeared for 24 hours, and then silently returned. It had taken some time, but eventually as Jane had learned to speak, Maura had finally worked up the nerve to ask her where she had gone for those 24 hours._

"_You went to a park?" Her voice inflected how incredulous that sounded. _

"_Yes."  
>"But why Jane?"<em>

"_Was angry. Didn't want to hurt." Jane shrugged her shoulders. "Wanted to be happy, went to the park. Remember the park from little."  
>Maura was trying to work through Jane's speech pattern. While she improved daily sometimes it was hard to understand what the taller woman was trying to say. <em>

"_Jane, do you mean to say you remember going to a park when you were younger? Before you were taken?"  
>"Yes."<em>

"_What did you do? When you do0 there when you left the ranch?"_

"_Swing."_

_Maura blinked. This woman continued to surprise her._

"_For 24 hours, all you did was swing?"_

"_Yes. Little girl came. Gave me flowers." Jane was rubbing her palms now, so Maura gently reached over and started to rub them herself as was their routine. She was stunned to hear Jane keep going. "Flowers reminded of farm. Reminded of Maura. Remember happy with Maura, even collared. Came home."_

_Maura had to hold back tears. Jane had called the ranch home. She had come back because she had been happy there. How something as simple as flowers from a young girl could make everything better. It made Maura's heart soar. Korsak had been right. She was attached and she never planned to let go. _

Unbeknownst to Maura she was crying in her sleep. And when Barry came back from he saw the tear marks he resolved to do everything in his power to bring Jonathan and Jane home.

* * *

><p>Maura was just staring at the rain outside the window. Every once in awhile a flash of lighting and the corresponding racket of the thunder tore its way through her. She heard Detective Frost come into the dining room from the kitchen. They had just finished lunch, well he did, and she couldn't bring herself to really eat much of anything. She didn't take her eyes off the scene outside. She heard the sound of a glass being put back on the dining room table. He must have refilled his glass.<p>

"I did some digging after I met Jane and yourself the first time."

Maura turned away from the window and just looked at him. She felt void of any emotion at this point. The waiting game was seriously taking a toll on her. She hoped that this ended sooner rather than later.

"Maura? Did you hear me?" Frost looked worriedly at her from his place at the dining room table.

"Yes. Yes Detective. What were you digging about?" She was almost on auto pilot now.

"The Ravens. Why they were made. Why the government lets the people responsible for the atrocities walk free." He furrowed his brow, "I had to do some not so legal actions to get the information but I did. And I won't be traced, neither will you or Jane, I assure you."

It took her a moment but she finally caught up, and this time she was much more interested in the conversation. "You know? You know what happened? Cameron and I had always wondered, especially her, it was always so hard on her every time she wanted us to take one in."

"Cameron…was your wife?" His tone was gentle, his speech slow. He didn't want to bring up old memories but at the same time Maura had volunteered the name and seemed to be doing a bit better knowing that he might have some knowledge of what was going on wherever Jane was.

"Yes. She died from complications due to Lyme disease. The doctor's didn't believe her, didn't believe the symptoms she was presenting was Lyme disease. They wouldn't do anything for her. She wasted away in front of me; I lost so much that day. But when Jane came I gained some of it back. At least I think I did, I can't be sure sometimes."

Frost was surprised at this bit of information, how Maura's wife had died and the fact that Jane had brought her back somehow. "You care for her don't you? You care for her very much?"

The present tense that he had used wasn't lost on Maura. "Yes. Yes I do. And I need a chance to figure this all out. She has to come back Frost."

"She will. I might not know her as well as you do but she will."

"Hmmmm. I hope so," Maura said as she looked back out the window. "So you have information, what have you discovered?" She walked to the dining table and took the other seat across from Frost, folded her hands in front of her and waited.

"I had to fill in some information myself, unfortunately some of what I have are assumptions."

"While I prefer to not assume I think in this case it is warranted."

Frost sighed and stretched his back in the chair before beginning. "God Maura this whole this must have started at least 40 years ago during the Vietnam War. Maybe even before that but I couldn't find any information that explicitly dated it back that far. This would be one of those assumptions that just feel like it started earlier than that. Maybe even as far back as World War II. "

"Was it really so extensive? I had no idea," Maura's shocked face told Frost she was having some of the same internal struggles he was when he first started digging into the governmental cover up and subsequent disregard.

"From what I can tell it looks like after World War II our government was interested in creating super soldiers, but I can tell you right now they were not interested in creating soldiers like you are thinking of. Of course they wanted them to be strong and capable of fighting and taking orders, but they still wanted something more." Frost started shaking his head.

"These were different. We didn't see the first of these soldiers until the Vietnam War which like I said was as far back as the records could go. Their training though, it was horrific Maura, just as horrible as it is today with the Ravens. These soldiers from the Vietnam War and the ones fighting in the rings today are one in the same. This is why I am sure that this all started after World War II. They would have had to take children, most likely orphans, even 50 to 70 years ago and come up with this process to then have the soldiers they used in Vietnam.

"In 1968 US soldiers were flown and dropped into the village of Khe Sanh. At the time of the arrival it was under attack from mortars. The troops were told they had to travel to an outpost, Torres, I think it was which was above the village in the mountains. They were attacked by the North Vietnamese and initially these new soldiers weren't to be involved. Unfortunately for the US soldiers the Vietnamese made it into the American trenches and they were forced to use hand to hand combat. It made sense at the time to release these new solders. To have them do what they had been created to do. To kill in close combat, just kill with any means necessary and whomever they could get their hands on.

"I don't think they used the collar then. I think they had code words or something else to trigger the change in personality that we see with them. However they did it though it would not have really mattered since it was not the code words that didn't work. You have to understand Maura they trained them to kill, and they did."

Frost paused here; he seemed to be having trouble getting the words out at this point.

"I don't understand Frost, what do you trying to say? I understand they were trained to kill, and I am sure they did, what was the issue?"

Frost took a deep breath, "They killed everyone Maura. They killed the Vietnamese, but they also killed all the American soldiers that were in the trenches with them. It took two dozen men with rifles from other trenches to kill the two super soldiers that the government had created. Their project backfired Maura, and it did so horrifically."

Maura was stunned into speechlessness for a moment, "But if that's the case then why do we still have the rings, why are they STILL creating them?"

"Money Maura, it's always about the money. The government spent a fortune creating these soldiers. They dedicated years and years to their upbringing, spent so much money on them and to have the project fail how it did," Frost started shaking his head. "They had to make their money back. So they did. Appalling things had been done to these people Maura, these children; they were also of course worried about that getting out. So they hid it all. They buried the evidence and burned the papers leaving hardly any kind of paper trail. And then they waited. They waited a few years till after Vietnam was over and then they opened the rings, made it seem like it wasn't the government that had come up with this idea to put human against human in these new age gladiator games. Named this secret group the Authority, and continued to do what they could to point fingers away from themselves.

"They made their money back, and then some, and then some more. It won't ever stop while they can still have a positive cash flow. The only way most of society knows it's the governments project is from a few loose lips here and there that whisper things, somehow without ever being caught.

"The term Raven was coined by those in the rings running things. Someone got their literature wrong but Raven's are typically seen accompanying death. And while they actually bring the death themselves they are the ones that are there when someone passes on from Life into Death."

Softly Maura asked Frost one last question, "And the Alpha's? What of them?"

Frost looked stricken.

"Barry? What about the Alpha's?"

"Maura you know, besides Jane, there has NEVER been a successful attempt at creating and controlling one. Their training is so much more brutal than the others, they are hand selected as children to go through the process and with every failure the training was changed in some form or another to see if the Authority could finally get the results they wanted."

"Barry there is something else you aren't telling me." Maura leaned in close to him, as if trying to will the answer out of him by sheer intensity alone.

Frost sighed in resignation. "They succeeded with Jane, Maura. They finally have perfected the process. Who knows how many they will try to make and what's to stop them from only competing in the rings? What's to stop them from venturing out again into war and secrecy and assassination?"

Maura's face said it all. And her heart broke a little but more with the realization that somehow she delivered the perfect specimen back into the hands of her creators. She might never see Jonathan or Jane ever again and it would be all her fault. Tears slid down her cheeks not unlike the rain sliding down the glass of the window.

**The information about the Vietnam War is truth, with the exception of the super soldiers of my creation, and the mass killing of men on both sides of the conflict. Hope you enjoyed it. This story has been nominated for Rizzles fanfiction awards under the category of AU, thank you to whomever nominated it, that is an honor in itself. **


	29. Chapter 29

**I know you all are excited to read this. See AN at the bottom. **

_She knew it was coming. Though she had no window to the outside she knew dawn wasn't far away, and when the light of the day finally breached the horizon she would be moved back to the stables, back to where it all began and where it all would end. She would make sure of it. She hadn't slept much the night before and instead had lay on her back on the floor, hands on her stomach, just thinking. Thinking of Maura, and Johnathan. Thinking of the ranch that had quickly become home but was now charred remains. She would end this, and she would get it all back. Every last piece no matter what it took. _

_Her musings were interrupted when she heard the click of the lock on her cell door. She didn't move, proceeded to act oblivious to her surroundings until she saw someone enter the room, at which point she scuttled to her feet and tried to back away from the people coming for her. _

_The first person to enter was the man Dr. Weller had called 'Mr. Ellis'. She wanted to like him, sort of. Considering whom he worked for she despised him but he had a gentler look about him. He must be new. And then it was her, the doctor, in all her glory. The doctor quickly stepped into the room and headed straight for her. She cowered as was expected of her. _

"_Well at least you still know who rules here. I have yet to figure out how you managed to survive, without a collar no less, around other people. It baffles me. It honestly does, and you should take that as a compliment Alpha, not many people or things can say they have baffled me." _

_The doctor reached down and with a firm grip grabbed Jane by the upper arm and pulled her to her feed. Jane resisted only enough to keep up the act but quickly fell into line. Once in the hallway she glaced to her left and right and saw one other person outside her cell. A man. She paid him no mind. She wasn't cuffed or hooded as she was walked from her cell. Head down she stared at the shoes of the person in front of her, Mr. Ellis she guessed, glad to at least not have to look at the ugly brown walls of the medical building they were in. _

_Soon enough they came to a door and went through it. The light momentarily blinded her but her eyes quickly adjusted and she took a cautious deep breath in. She missed the outside air. That was one thing she had plenty of on the ranch. _

_She flinched when she felt the hit to her upper thigh, from a baton no doubt. Reigning in her anger was harder to control than she had expected, especially when she saw it was Dr. Weller who wielded the instrument. _

"_Are you sure this one is an Alpha Dr. Weller? She doesn't look like much of anything to me. I cannot understand how she could possibly be smart enough to kill a mouse let alone another of her kind."_

_Jane didn't recognize the voice of the man speaking, he must have been the other one in their little group. Probably just another high roller, they had always been in and out when she was here. _

"_I assure you Mr. Rockmand that you have nothing to worry about. Let's get her walked over to the stables and installed back in her old quarters and then we can go discuss some things." Dr. Weller's tone sounded courteous but Jane could tell she was unhappy to have this man here. _

_They continued walking for another ten minutes before they came across a three-story building that was completely whitewashed. Upon entry Jane immediately recognized the smell, your standard blood, sweat, and tears. She had not missed this smell one bit. _

_Still playing the beaten dog Jane followed through remembered hallways and turns, gates and locks. Eventually stopping at a small room built with a see thru door. _

_Her room. _

_It wasn't opulent by any means but it wasn't the cell she had spent last night in either. For one it was painted a light shade of green, had a full bed with bedside table as well as a reclining chair. A bookcase was full of her old books, ones she had earned over the years. As the only Alpha they had indulged her a little. The only thing out of place was the sink and toilet in the same room. No separate bathrooms here. She would miss the privacy. _

_She was quickly installed in her room and left alone where she immediately found a change of clothes. She would recognize them anywhere. _

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><p>It took Maura a moment to recognize the sound. Honestly she hadn't been in the right frame of mind to even really pay attention to her surroundings let alone think cognitively. Eventually she came to recognize the sound as knocking, but where? The door to the apartment? That did not make sense. Frost had a key but even then he was currently sleeping in the bedroom, and no one else knew where they were. At least they weren't supposed to.<p>

As the knock grew more frantic Maura quickly made her way to the bedroom and though she hated to wake him she did not know what else to do. Shaking Frost gently Maura frequently glanced towards the bedroom door.

"Unn….wha? What's wrong Maura?" Frost's voice was full of sleep, he hadn't been sleeping long and he was exhausted.

"I'm so sorry Barry, but there's someone knocking on the apartment door. They won't go away! No one's supposed to know where we are!"

Frost was instantly alert at that. His life as a police officer and then a detective made the transition from sleep to awake and alert quickly. The fear and uncertainty in Maura's voice left little doubt to him that she was truly frightened.

"Stay here Maura," Frost said as he swung his legs off the bed and reached for the drawer of the bedside table. Once opened he pulled his gun out and checked the clip to make sure the gun was as it should be.

Maura quickly stood straight and backed away. "Barry what are you doing?"

"Making sure we stay safe."

"By shooting someone?" Maura had never been easy around guns. Cameron had them and was the one to use them if needed on the ranch but even that was a rare occurrence.

"I won't shoot unless I have to Maura," he stood up from the bed and made his way to the bedroom door. "Stay here or better yet go into the bathroom and lock the door. I'll yell when it's okay to come out. Do you have your phone on you?"

Maura nodded her head and started towards the bathroom. Her heart was in her throat and her hands were shaking.

"Go on Maura. I'll take care of it," Frost said before leaving the bedroom, gun drawn and at the ready.

She quickly closed the bathroom door once inside and it took a moment to twist the lock due to her shaking. She pulled her phone from her pocket and held it at the ready. She waited with bated breath trying to listen for every sound coming from the rest of the apartment. She heard nothing. Was that a good thing? Or a bad thing?

She wanted Jane.

After several tense minutes she heard Frost faintly calling for her to come out. Untwisting the lock took just as much effort of twisting it in the first place but she succeeded and slowly opened the door. Her mind quickly tried playing with her, thinking up scenarios of Frost held at gunpoint himself and being made to call for Maura to come out. At the same time she knew that he would never betray her like that. She worried nonetheless.

Stepping up to the bedroom doorway she heard Frost clearer, "Maura? Come out, there is someone out here who claims to know you."

Her curiosity was piqued.

It did not take long for her to recognize the person in the living room of the apartment. Even with Frost's gun trained on the man, and the aged appearance of him she knew him quickly.

"Vince? Oh goodness you're alive? You-" Her sentence cut short and the phone fell from her had as the stress of the last few moments finally crashed, as she herself unceremoniously crashed to the floor.

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><p><em>They wanted a test. She knew it as soon as she had seen those clothes on the bed and then it was confirmed as soon as she entered the ring, she exactly what they wanted. They wanted to see her perform. They wanted to see her act the Alpha they had created. <em>

_They pitted her against a Beta, the highest ranking fighter besides her own, and though it would cost them to lose a high status fighter, to them it was more worth it to make sure their Alpha still had it in her to do what she was trained to do. The man she stood against was larger than her by half, taller and heavily muscled. _

_She had a slight moment of unease when she wondered if she was still as deadly as they made her to be. Her thoughts were quickly back to the moment when she felt her collar and saw his collar break away. _

_She did as she was expected. And she hated herself for it. _

_Maura would surely hate her too. _

**Hi friends! How are you all doing? I am doing alright at the moment. I want to take a second to let you know that I am NOT abandoning this story, I think about it almost every day but lately I have not had the motivation to write. Not long after I posted the chapter before this latest one I discovered I had bedbugs in my apartment. I know! Gross! I am pretty positive I picked them up at Disney World while I was there for a work conference. You all remember the itching I talked about in the past? Welp that was the bed bugs. I was reacting to their bites and not some other allergen. Needless to say I immediately sprang into action and quickly decided I no longer wanted to live in the apartment complex I was in, as they would not treat the whole building. Meaning I could get the suckers again if they went to another apartment in my immediate vicinity, which they would. It's how they work. The process of moving took 2 months, because I had to wash everything and go through everything to make sure I would not take them with me to my new place. Good news is the new place is cheaper as I moved in with a friend looking for a roommate. After that entire event I was exhausted and wanted to do nothing but work, watch netflix and sleep. And then my parents visited, where I came out as Pansexual to my mom who took it AMAZING! I feel so much better about myself that she knows, though no one else in the family does including my dad. And then I went and visited my parents on a last minute vacation to use up the last of my work PTO. And then here we are in July. Anyway, I can't say when another chapter will be posted, but be aware I am not giving up; I am always thinking about it and you all. You guys have been amazing. Cheers!**


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